I think, therefore I write

Year: 2015 (Page 5 of 10)

An alternate angle

Everyone in the blogging world knows about The April AtoZ challenge, it’s been doing the rounds for quite a while and a lot of people take part in it. All the while, I watched as a mute spectator. I spent a lot of minutes wondering whether I should take part in it. But then who am I kidding? I honestly don’t have the time and I don’t want force myself to write some random post and title it even more randomly so that the title starts with the letter of the day. No offense to the challenge and the bloggers who are participating (who by the way are dishing out amazing fiction for this challenge) but such challenges are not for me. Yet.

As I was mulling over this, another idea struck me and I tweeted about it. Obviously, the AtoZ post concept is appealing but the challenge of posting one every day is what takes the fun out of it for me. Why stuff so many posts in that 1 month just for the sake of it? I will do AtoZ posts on my terms. I have a lot of things to write about and as and when the idea for a letter strikes me, I will tag it under this category and write on it. This will be in the span of a year, that way I can repeat this multiple times and have fun with it. So here I am, writing the first post of AtoZ2015.

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“Decide on one soon na?” I begged hubby who was flitting between Domino’s and South Indies for lunch. Hunger makes me cranky and I lose all reasoning as time goes by. Knowing this well, hubby blindly decided on Domino’s. As we were entering the outlet, we saw a boy, in 12-14 yrs age range begging the customers for some food. His face and mannerisms rang a bell. I have seen him often in front of this Domino’s outlet begging for food and I remembered feeling disturbed by the irony of a child begging for food outside a restaurant. It’s a common thing that restaurants will have a lot of edible left overs but still the boy’s hunger was not met by any kind soul. At the same time, my hubby pointed out that a lot of people beg stating that they are hungry but refuse to take food when provided and insist on money. I had experienced such stuff too. This caused a dilemma in me. I couldn’t think straight because of my hunger and decided to be selfish and satiate my hunger first.

Soon we ordered a variety of dishes in no time. On second thoughts, I felt that we might have ordered more than we could eat. I shrugged the feeling with a “Who cares? We can always take home if there’s much left over.” As I was eating through the delicacies on my table, I couldn’t help but glance at the boy through the glass doors. And I kept wondering why life is so two-faced. On the inside of the glass door sat people like me, relishing the food and A/C that they could easily afford and outside was a poor boy in the scorching heat begging for food. I couldn’t bear it. I quickly took the box of Taco Mexicana I had ordered and poured out a glass of diet coke I had ordered and went out to the boy. I was skeptical if he would accept food instead of money but was relieved when he did.

Having relieved my guilty conscience, I ate my lunch happily, paid up and left. As I came out of the restaurant, I found the same boy begging again. I was wondering if what I gave him was not enough but I could see that he had not finished eating whatever I had given him in the first place. I got angered that my act couldn’t stop him from begging and maybe I couldn’t even if I give him more food. I left the place in a huff in a helpless state. But my mind kept going back and as my mind calmed down, I could see the rationale behind the boy’s act.

I provided him one meal. He might have a family with many mouths to feed. Even if that’s not the case, who guarantees his next meal? Who ensures that he doesn’t get beaten up by the mafia whose business is making children beg and take the money for themselves? Without knowing anything about him, what makes me qualified to judge him? The fact that I have provided him a single meal? No!

The situation looks entirely different from the boy’s angle. That alternate dimension or perspective is something that we often forget. What does it look like when you are the one getting the raw end of the deal? That angle is something that will make us shudder and thank our stars that we are not there. Yes, I can do an act of kindness but that single act might not change someone’s life altogether. Such people are fighting the battle of survival.

I resolved that I will never judge anyone like this again. Yes, there is a possibility that the boy falls into the category of greedy beggars insisting on money when offered good food or those people who beg to make enough money to get drunk or high or things like that. But there is also the alternate possibility of him having a family that depends on him, him being an orphan who has to take care of himself at an age when children should be pampered and protected. And I will respect that possibility, however low it is.

Until later 🙂

Wings of Fury

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She wanted to spread her wings and fly,
They held her back from rising high,
She fought back, asking them to let her try,
But suppress was all they did.

Questions – How, when, what and why?
All of them – unspoken and without answers,
But never once did she give up and cry,
For when it came to life, she was a dancer

Her wings were bound hard to be cut
She knew they were her best bet
If at all she wanted to strike back
This was her last chance to hack

So that’s what she did, rose with all her might
Against her fury, little chance they had to stand
Everyone vanished as if banished by her wand
And she emerged as her own savior knight!

Until later 🙂

Setting things right

I want to set certain things right. In my own terms. This is not a topic that’s unheard of or unwritten of. Yet, even the most civilized of the lot make the same mistake time and again and that pisses me off.

I am a feminist. And there comes the question, define feminism. Let me put it in a way that everyone would understand and hope (I’m an optimist) that people would get it.

The first line on Wiki’s page about it is: “Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women.” Do we see the word equal? Do we understand what it means? Then why is Feminism considered a taboo? Why are feminists being looked at as if they are aliens invading the planet and exclaimed at as “Ooh! You are a feminist!” with that sarcastic tinge in the tone?

I like it when a guy walking before me allows me to go forward as I am in a hurry because he doesn’t want to be a hindrance to another person irrespective of the gender. Not because I am a woman.

I like it when a guy gives a lady his seat in the bus not because she is a woman but because she is pregnant or carrying her baby in one arm and struggling to keep her feet planted.

I like it when a man stands up for a woman to protect her when she is helpless because she is also a human. Irrespective of gender, the helpless should be protected. Again not because of the gender but because that’s what a decent human being would and should do for another human being.

I like it when a man helps his wife in household chores because there is no work label associated with the gender. We eat irrespective of the gender right? Or do you not eat because you are a man? So why not do the dishes too?

I like it when a man refrains from making cheap gender based jokes because jokes should never be at the cost of someone’s feelings. It holds the same for jokes made on guys too.

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That is feminism for you. Feminism arose because the natural equality that should be present for any human being started getting skewed. If all of us had extended that courtesy of being sensible and unbiased, there would have been no need for feminism. Society and biased people are the reasons & root causes for feminism. When you see someone and judge them based on their gender or when you try to label a person based on gender, you create the unbalance and hence the need for feminism.If you don’t like feminism and terms alike, stop being skewed and biased.

So next time before you judge a feminist, rethink what she/he stands for. He/she stands for equality not for chauvinism of any gender. A feminist stands up to maintain that balance which the others chose to ignore. A feminist thinks about the human being and not about the gender. So I will proudly say again, I am a feminist! Are you?

Until later 🙂

A memorable day together keeps you going forever

Today I am in a good place, but this was not the case a couple of years back. I had finally relocated to Bangalore and was in the same city as Adit but all the problems were not laid to rest. We were struggling to make things happen on the marriage front and get any progress in convincing our parents. There were days on which we had the toughest of times managing our parents, discussing what next and maintaining the relationship as such. It was taking a huge toll on us, ironical how working to make the marriage happen can actually work to exhaust us and in turn turning ourselves against each other. We were just passing days by working out things when that wonderful day came by.

It was my birthday time and I was in no mood to celebrate it with all that was going on. To top it all, I was unhappy about work too and was changing companies. Since it was the last month and I had to do a lot at office to transition my knowledge to the others before I leave, I was always cranky and a birthday celebration was the last thing on my mind. This was when Adit decided a trip to Mysore would be a good break for me and him as well. We had another friend who was also interested in accompanying us and we decided we would go on my birthday.

The three of us decided to make it a one day trip by a car. As the day approached, I felt guilty about not appreciating what Adit was trying to pull here and wanted to make it up to him. So on a sudden impulse, I decided to wear a sari since he liked seeing me in one. I dressed up in a cream colored sari with a dark green border with stone work and left to meet him as early as 5 AM. He was pleasantly surprised in seeing me dressed up and we had a romantic morning coffee together while we waited for our friend to join us. The morning breeze soothed our worries away and the feeling of being there, in the moment, together made us forget all worries. Soon after, our friend came with the car and we started out.

It took 3 hours to reach there. We visited the Chamundeeswari temple first. There was a heavy rush since it was close to Dussehra and by the time we came out of the temple it was afternoon. Time does fly, I thought. After a quick lunch, we visited the Mysore wild life reserve. We had a fun time looking at the animals and teasing each other with analogies 😉 Also that was my first time seeing a white tiger and the beast was magnificent.Actually, it’s not fair to call it a beast, it was that beautiful. We had reserved the Mysore palace for the evening because that’s when it looks best with all the lights. So the next stop was the palace and I came face to face with the personification of royal look. The palace was vast and glittered with the history that adorned it. I was still reeling over the history and beauty of it when we were on our way back. The drive back to Bangalore was so pleasant that we became drowsy but we didn’t want to miss the time together. So we chatted about everything under the sun and enjoyed the drizzle that was slowly making its way through.

We had a dinner stop on the way and by the time we came back, we were dead tired. So we dropped off at our respective places and hit the bed straight. Only the next day did I realize that that was the first night in months when I had slept peacefully and without disturbing dreams. Maybe it was the physical tiredness or the mental content of spending a day forgetting about every worry I had, I am not sure. But one thing was crystal clear for me. All it took to break a monotony, to give a recharge for yourself when things are going bad was a day with your loved ones. A simple day forgetting about everything else. If you had the open mind and time for that, nothing else mattered. Often, we don’t give that chance. We just keep cribbing and going about what we are already doing.

That day is still etched in my mind as one of the most refreshing and positive days of my life. The simplicity of what we had that day left a great impact on me and gave me the strength to face and sort out my troubles. From then on, if I am in a restless and disturbed phase, I just hit the pause button of my busy life and take a recharge. A day with my loved ones – it makes me look up to life and love with renewed energy and optimism.

Until later 🙂

This post is written as a part of #together campaign by housing.com

Alone or Lonely?

I have heard people saying being alone doesn’t equate to loneliness. And I fully agree. There’s actually a not-so-thin line between the two which we often overlook. Don’t get it? Here’s an example.

Your parents/husband/roommate is out of town for a couple of days. You are pretty comfortable staying alone and hence you go about your work as usual. You use the time @ hand to do some reading that you’ve been meaning to do, watch re-runs of your favorite TV show, sing at the top of your voice without bothering anyone, sleep right on the couch without bothering about the next meal and talk to yourself just for the sake of it. That’s being alone!

You feel like there’s none to talk to or understand you. Not one of your acquaintances turn into friendships. You feel there is no one who matches your frequency of thinking. You miss your best friend who is unfortunately living in a different city or worse a different country. You miss your mom and dad and wish you could just leave everything and head back home. You have everything and everyone around you but all you feel is the sad feeling that no one’s around. That’s lonely!

The second case of being lonely can happen even when you are surrounded by people. People whom you don’t relate with or who don’t relate with you. Why am I now writing about this? Let me tell you. I am a person who is very comfortable with some alone time. I enjoy it. As much as I love my husband and parents, I have always carved out that personal space where I do things which I like without anyone’s interference. I don’t go in search of such time. It comes to me. Be it 10 minutes of a day or an entire weekend when hubby is out of town, I enjoy the time at the same level. I drown in a good book, watch re-runs of movies and shows, roam around the house cleaning and singing along with my favorite song which I can play on endless repeat.

My problem comes when people around me think I will get lonely because I am alone at home and start inviting me over. My MIL and grandma get concerned when hubby has to go out of town and start suggesting people whom I can visit so that I don’t have to stay alone. I appreciate their concern and at the same time politely tell them that I am very very looking forward to some ‘me’ time. After a few attempts, they understood. My mom calls twice a day to see how am doing. I tell her I am so enjoying it. My hubby still feels restless of leaving me alone at home while I am constantly assuring him that I am actually having a party all by myself 🙂 Of course, I will miss being with him but that’s natural. I will deal with it and get on with my work.

So next time you are saying that you are lonely, think twice. Are you alone or are you lonely? My mantra is “If you are not fully comfortable being alone with yourself, then you can’t be so with anyone else.”

Until later 🙂

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