Ripples of my Reflections

I think, therefore I write

Author: Keirthana (Page 21 of 66)

A memorable day together keeps you going forever

March 14, 2015 / / 8 Comments

Today I am in a good place, but this was not the case a couple of years back. I had finally relocated to Bangalore and was in the same city as Adit but all the problems were not laid to rest. We were struggling to make things happen on the marriage front and get any progress in convincing our parents. There were days on which we had the toughest of times managing our parents, discussing what next and maintaining the relationship as such. It was taking a huge toll on us, ironical how working to make the marriage happen can actually work to exhaust us and in turn turning ourselves against each other. We were just passing days by working out things when that wonderful day came by.

It was my birthday time and I was in no mood to celebrate it with all that was going on. To top it all, I was unhappy about work too and was changing companies. Since it was the last month and I had to do a lot at office to transition my knowledge to the others before I leave, I was always cranky and a birthday celebration was the last thing on my mind. This was when Adit decided a trip to Mysore would be a good break for me and him as well. We had another friend who was also interested in accompanying us and we decided we would go on my birthday.

The three of us decided to make it a one day trip by a car. As the day approached, I felt guilty about not appreciating what Adit was trying to pull here and wanted to make it up to him. So on a sudden impulse, I decided to wear a sari since he liked seeing me in one. I dressed up in a cream colored sari with a dark green border with stone work and left to meet him as early as 5 AM. He was pleasantly surprised in seeing me dressed up and we had a romantic morning coffee together while we waited for our friend to join us. The morning breeze soothed our worries away and the feeling of being there, in the moment, together made us forget all worries. Soon after, our friend came with the car and we started out.

It took 3 hours to reach there. We visited the Chamundeeswari temple first. There was a heavy rush since it was close to Dussehra and by the time we came out of the temple it was afternoon. Time does fly, I thought. After a quick lunch, we visited the Mysore wild life reserve. We had a fun time looking at the animals and teasing each other with analogies 😉 Also that was my first time seeing a white tiger and the beast was magnificent.Actually, it’s not fair to call it a beast, it was that beautiful. We had reserved the Mysore palace for the evening because that’s when it looks best with all the lights. So the next stop was the palace and I came face to face with the personification of royal look. The palace was vast and glittered with the history that adorned it. I was still reeling over the history and beauty of it when we were on our way back. The drive back to Bangalore was so pleasant that we became drowsy but we didn’t want to miss the time together. So we chatted about everything under the sun and enjoyed the drizzle that was slowly making its way through.

We had a dinner stop on the way and by the time we came back, we were dead tired. So we dropped off at our respective places and hit the bed straight. Only the next day did I realize that that was the first night in months when I had slept peacefully and without disturbing dreams. Maybe it was the physical tiredness or the mental content of spending a day forgetting about every worry I had, I am not sure. But one thing was crystal clear for me. All it took to break a monotony, to give a recharge for yourself when things are going bad was a day with your loved ones. A simple day forgetting about everything else. If you had the open mind and time for that, nothing else mattered. Often, we don’t give that chance. We just keep cribbing and going about what we are already doing.

That day is still etched in my mind as one of the most refreshing and positive days of my life. The simplicity of what we had that day left a great impact on me and gave me the strength to face and sort out my troubles. From then on, if I am in a restless and disturbed phase, I just hit the pause button of my busy life and take a recharge. A day with my loved ones – it makes me look up to life and love with renewed energy and optimism.

Until later 🙂

This post is written as a part of #together campaign by housing.com

Alone or Lonely?

March 12, 2015 / / 7 Comments

I have heard people saying being alone doesn’t equate to loneliness. And I fully agree. There’s actually a not-so-thin line between the two which we often overlook. Don’t get it? Here’s an example.

Your parents/husband/roommate is out of town for a couple of days. You are pretty comfortable staying alone and hence you go about your work as usual. You use the time @ hand to do some reading that you’ve been meaning to do, watch re-runs of your favorite TV show, sing at the top of your voice without bothering anyone, sleep right on the couch without bothering about the next meal and talk to yourself just for the sake of it. That’s being alone!

You feel like there’s none to talk to or understand you. Not one of your acquaintances turn into friendships. You feel there is no one who matches your frequency of thinking. You miss your best friend who is unfortunately living in a different city or worse a different country. You miss your mom and dad and wish you could just leave everything and head back home. You have everything and everyone around you but all you feel is the sad feeling that no one’s around. That’s lonely!

The second case of being lonely can happen even when you are surrounded by people. People whom you don’t relate with or who don’t relate with you. Why am I now writing about this? Let me tell you. I am a person who is very comfortable with some alone time. I enjoy it. As much as I love my husband and parents, I have always carved out that personal space where I do things which I like without anyone’s interference. I don’t go in search of such time. It comes to me. Be it 10 minutes of a day or an entire weekend when hubby is out of town, I enjoy the time at the same level. I drown in a good book, watch re-runs of movies and shows, roam around the house cleaning and singing along with my favorite song which I can play on endless repeat.

My problem comes when people around me think I will get lonely because I am alone at home and start inviting me over. My MIL and grandma get concerned when hubby has to go out of town and start suggesting people whom I can visit so that I don’t have to stay alone. I appreciate their concern and at the same time politely tell them that I am very very looking forward to some ‘me’ time. After a few attempts, they understood. My mom calls twice a day to see how am doing. I tell her I am so enjoying it. My hubby still feels restless of leaving me alone at home while I am constantly assuring him that I am actually having a party all by myself 🙂 Of course, I will miss being with him but that’s natural. I will deal with it and get on with my work.

So next time you are saying that you are lonely, think twice. Are you alone or are you lonely? My mantra is “If you are not fully comfortable being alone with yourself, then you can’t be so with anyone else.”

Until later 🙂

Start a new life, many times over

March 10, 2015 / / 9 Comments

I have heard enough cliches when it comes to change. Often in life, we all take a bold step and accept some change in our lives, albeit grudgingly. We have trouble accepting any change because we get neck deep in our comfort zones and don’t want to move. But when we stop and look back, all those changes we embraced were for a good reason. But more often than not, we do not acknowledge this enlightenment that retrospect showers us with. When I saw this topic #StartANewLife campaigned by housing.com, there were many things I wanted to write about. Love, Attitude, Career, Religious belief and otherwise etc. I am choosing a select couple out of many such things in my life to tell the world how I accepted change and how it changed my life.

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My first job took me to an alien city – Hyderabad. When I heard where I was posted after training, my heart sank into my stomach. For one, I had my parents to assure that it is safe and that I can manage. Next, my heart was in Bangalore where Adit had got posted. Then I had my own insecurities to deal with. I set about preparing to go to Hyderabad with fears in my heart and tears in my eyes. It took all my courage to not quit my job then and there and return home. It was my first job and I didn’t want to be a quitter at the first step. With a heavy heart, I accepted what life had given me and set foot in the city.

What happened in the next 20 months was a lesson to me. I learnt a lot from that life. The city gave me so many things – A new language, lot of new friends, an entirely different culture and environment, the ability to withstand pathetic food at PG, the ability to adapt, the patience to figure out things and a lot more. I left the city when finally my transfer came through. When I think back now, I have nothing but good memories about the place. The reason I still needed a transfer out of that place was the sheer distance from home and more importantly, Adit’s office didn’t have his division in Hyderabad. So the onus of moving was on me to be together. Otherwise, I had no qualms about the place. This phase changed my outlook towards life. Ever since, when I feel that I am in a pickle, I remind myself that in retrospect I will be feeling a lot better about it and that I have to just give it time.
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I have always wanted to live in a house owned by me. Rented houses were never for me, not to mention nosy owners,ever increasing rentals and compromises that come along with the fact that one cannot have everything. However, buying a house was always a daunting step for me given the cost of real estate these days. So I kept on dreaming about owning one but never had the courage to step into it. Finally, around the time I got married my dad encouraged me (in fact, he pressed me hard) to take the step. I wasn’t sure even then but then jumped into it with a rush of adrenaline telling me that it’s now or never. And I am glad I did.

The place will be ready in a few months and I cannot be happier that I stood up to it. I wouldn’t say it is all rosy because a lot of responsibilities came along with the house. The financial arrangements, budgeting were and are still a nightmare. But I don’t regret it one bit. Even if I had decided later on to buy a house, I would have to go through the same thing. Maybe even worse since real estate values only shoot up with every passing day. With this big step, my outlook towards being responsible and finances has changed. I have become a lot more responsible about my expenses. Yes, I am not yet as perfect as my parents who never wasted a single penny. But I am working towards it. I am reaching there, one step at a time.
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pinterest_changeImage Source: Pinterest

There are many more such incidents that changed my life. All of you would have had such experiences too. Every incident conveys the same point – Embrace the change and start a new life. Over and over many times. Each time, it will not only be a little better but it will also start making sense to you. You can see the big picture forming out of the small pieces, like a jigsaw puzzle. Whenever you feel down, remember – One piece at a time and the puzzle will be solved in no time.

Until later 🙂

This post is for the #StartANewLife campaign by housing.com. Watch the video to know more.

Action Replay- February

March 9, 2015 / / 6 Comments

February was a month that started off in full glory as it brought my first anniversary with it. One year as a wife. It was an elating feeling to acknowledge that it’s been one year of being married to the love of my life. Just a couple years ago, I would have given anything to be where I am today. So, this month made me look back and be grateful about what I had in hand. Life gives you lemons now and then but in the end it always teaches you something and makes you better. At least that’s how it has been for me. There is not one thing that I want to change when I look back. Even the bad things. Everything happened in a way so that the pieces fell in order, in their respective places. I am very thankful for what I have and will strive to achieve those that I don’t have yet.

One more thing that this month taught me was to adapt. Although it’s been 3 months since I joined my new work, I was on a learning curve so far. Only in February did I start doing the work actually and it was a lot to take in. I had underestimated some and overestimated some other aspects of my work. I had to readjust my perspectives, start getting used to it. And I must say I did it beautifully. Yes, I did freak out and vent it all to my hubby, my ever patient listener, but I am faring well so far.

What took an enormous chunk of my effort and time was the family wedding that came towards the end of the month. It was hubby’s first cousin with whom we are pretty close and I had to work 2 days straight for it. Since I am not from the same community, I hadn’t known how elaborate these weddings could get. I had attended a couple of weddings from his side but never got to work for the fest. This time, I got the full blast of it and I enjoyed it thoroughly. By the end of it, the house looked like it had lived through a cyclone. All of us were dead tired when it was over but then again when our aunt and uncle were all praises for me, the narcissist in me basked in the limelight happily. Also, I learnt to drape a silk saree properly with minimal help from mom and also to be more comfortable in it. 🙂

Two weeks after the wedding, mom stayed with us to pamper me with her care and I was in heaven. I ate, slept, watched reruns of The Big Bang Theory and chatted with her. Nothing can come close to the bliss of being taken care of by mom. I enjoyed every bit of it till Saturday when she had to head back home. With hubby also out of town for a couple of days, I felt a little lonely but then picked myself up and started using the space and time for myself. So with a bit of cleaning therapy, retail therapy, some ‘me’ time, I am fully recharged 🙂

Belated Women’s day wishes everyone!

women

Until later 🙂

P.S: I know it’s a little late as March is already 9 days old but I had a pretty busy February eating into the initial days of March. I have so many thoughts jotted down for the upcoming posts 🙂

How to check out women?

February 13, 2015 / / 15 Comments

Dear Menkind*,

We all know that you check out women when in public places. Irrespective or whether you are single or in a relationship or married, irrespective of who is with you, irrespective of time, place and context. We know that you check us out, give ratings in your mind and pass comments if you find us interesting. Especially when you are with your friends. I agree that women check out men too but more in a non-crass manner and most times our comments stop at “Ooh! That guy is hot”. So here are some tips for you to do what you do more effectively and in a civil manner. What? You thought this is a guy-bashing post? Your mistake! We know that “it’s in your genes” and that you wouldn’t make any attempt to civilize yourself (Who needs civilization when one gets pleasure by simply looking at ogling at the opposite sex? 😐 ) and no amount of advice can bring about any change in you. Our best hope is that you guys will get bored of looking at women, but that seems like a far cry for now. So if you are gonna do something wrong, do it right. 😎

1. When a bunch of you are out roaming and one of you sees a woman worthy of your interest behind you, you tell your friends and they all turn their heads around one by one, as if in some circus parade and look at her. You guys do that sequential head turning so that the woman doesn’t notice the blaring fact that she is the current subject of your discussion. How dumb do you think we are? 🙄 Your circus parade head turning and the fake looks on your faces are more than enough for us to know. So you might as well turn around together or wait till she comes into your line of vision.

2. Please DO NOT giggle. I have seen men giggling (and sometimes blushing) like a teen girl the moment her crush looked at her. And it makes my hair stand up and NOT in a good way. How can a woman enjoy the rest of her shopping when she knows that she was checked out by a MAN ( ❓ ) WHO GIGGLES? 😮

3. Teasing each other and praising each other in loud voices don’t work. We all know that whatever you are talking is for our benefit and are not believing one word of what you are uttering. We are not even listening to you. If you look closely, you will see us being interested in the price of a cabbage or trying to figure out which shade of purple will match our cream top. So do not waste your energy.

4. Try to be as inconspicuous as you can. Let’s face facts, this is obviously a time pass for you. So, at least give us the peace of mind while we are shopping without having to worry about the creep who keeps staring at us but then we we look up stares at a wall intently or picks a product and tries to see its price (without even noticing it is a feminine product).

how-it-worksImage Source: cavemag.com

I was at the supermarket the other weekend and there were these 3 guys, in front of me on the escalator. One of them looked back and told the others something and the head turning happened. And then the giggling happened. And then the teasing and praising happened alternatively and then the creepy staring happened. All of them one after the other. First I thought something was weird with me and checked my reflection in the window thinking I am missing an earring or inadvertently wearing my dress inside out or something like that. But no, I was okay! I was like “Oh my God! Here I thought guys have become cool these days” Guess that cannot be said for all guys. I was so pissed off that I took my mangalsutra out and brushed my hair so that the sindoor on the forehead is visible. That shut them up 😀 (To all the married ladies – Sure shot way of shooing away such guys, show them that you are married)

Until later 🙂

P.S: I am discovering a lot of new blogs and bloggers who are like-minded. The reader in me is happy 🙂

*P.S: Give me the benefit of generalization with this post. I have written a post about people who do what I have written about and not about those who do not. If you are ignoring my warning and taking offense, well then, that says a lot about you!

ssp

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