She wanted to spread her wings and fly,
They held her back from rising high,
She fought back, asking them to let her try,
But suppress was all they did.
Questions – How, when, what and why?
All of them – unspoken and without answers,
But never once did she give up and cry,
For when it came to life, she was a dancer
Her wings were bound hard to be cut
She knew they were her best bet
If at all she wanted to strike back
This was her last chance to hack
So that’s what she did, rose with all her might
Against her fury, little chance they had to stand
Everyone vanished as if banished by her wand
And she emerged as her own savior knight!
Today I am in a good place, but this was not the case a couple of years back. I had finally relocated to Bangalore and was in the same city as Adit but all the problems were not laid to rest. We were struggling to make things happen on the marriage front and get any progress in convincing our parents. There were days on which we had the toughest of times managing our parents, discussing what next and maintaining the relationship as such. It was taking a huge toll on us, ironical how working to make the marriage happen can actually work to exhaust us and in turn turning ourselves against each other. We were just passing days by working out things when that wonderful day came by.
It was my birthday time and I was in no mood to celebrate it with all that was going on. To top it all, I was unhappy about work too and was changing companies. Since it was the last month and I had to do a lot at office to transition my knowledge to the others before I leave, I was always cranky and a birthday celebration was the last thing on my mind. This was when Adit decided a trip to Mysore would be a good break for me and him as well. We had another friend who was also interested in accompanying us and we decided we would go on my birthday.
The three of us decided to make it a one day trip by a car. As the day approached, I felt guilty about not appreciating what Adit was trying to pull here and wanted to make it up to him. So on a sudden impulse, I decided to wear a sari since he liked seeing me in one. I dressed up in a cream colored sari with a dark green border with stone work and left to meet him as early as 5 AM. He was pleasantly surprised in seeing me dressed up and we had a romantic morning coffee together while we waited for our friend to join us. The morning breeze soothed our worries away and the feeling of being there, in the moment, together made us forget all worries. Soon after, our friend came with the car and we started out.
It took 3 hours to reach there. We visited the Chamundeeswari temple first. There was a heavy rush since it was close to Dussehra and by the time we came out of the temple it was afternoon. Time does fly, I thought. After a quick lunch, we visited the Mysore wild life reserve. We had a fun time looking at the animals and teasing each other with analogies 😉 Also that was my first time seeing a white tiger and the beast was magnificent.Actually, it’s not fair to call it a beast, it was that beautiful. We had reserved the Mysore palace for the evening because that’s when it looks best with all the lights. So the next stop was the palace and I came face to face with the personification of royal look. The palace was vast and glittered with the history that adorned it. I was still reeling over the history and beauty of it when we were on our way back. The drive back to Bangalore was so pleasant that we became drowsy but we didn’t want to miss the time together. So we chatted about everything under the sun and enjoyed the drizzle that was slowly making its way through.
We had a dinner stop on the way and by the time we came back, we were dead tired. So we dropped off at our respective places and hit the bed straight. Only the next day did I realize that that was the first night in months when I had slept peacefully and without disturbing dreams. Maybe it was the physical tiredness or the mental content of spending a day forgetting about every worry I had, I am not sure. But one thing was crystal clear for me. All it took to break a monotony, to give a recharge for yourself when things are going bad was a day with your loved ones. A simple day forgetting about everything else. If you had the open mind and time for that, nothing else mattered. Often, we don’t give that chance. We just keep cribbing and going about what we are already doing.
That day is still etched in my mind as one of the most refreshing and positive days of my life. The simplicity of what we had that day left a great impact on me and gave me the strength to face and sort out my troubles. From then on, if I am in a restless and disturbed phase, I just hit the pause button of my busy life and take a recharge. A day with my loved ones – it makes me look up to life and love with renewed energy and optimism.
Until later 🙂
This post is written as a part of #together campaign by housing.com
I have heard people saying being alone doesn’t equate to loneliness. And I fully agree. There’s actually a not-so-thin line between the two which we often overlook. Don’t get it? Here’s an example.
Your parents/husband/roommate is out of town for a couple of days. You are pretty comfortable staying alone and hence you go about your work as usual. You use the time @ hand to do some reading that you’ve been meaning to do, watch re-runs of your favorite TV show, sing at the top of your voice without bothering anyone, sleep right on the couch without bothering about the next meal and talk to yourself just for the sake of it. That’s being alone!
You feel like there’s none to talk to or understand you. Not one of your acquaintances turn into friendships. You feel there is no one who matches your frequency of thinking. You miss your best friend who is unfortunately living in a different city or worse a different country. You miss your mom and dad and wish you could just leave everything and head back home. You have everything and everyone around you but all you feel is the sad feeling that no one’s around. That’s lonely!
The second case of being lonely can happen even when you are surrounded by people. People whom you don’t relate with or who don’t relate with you. Why am I now writing about this? Let me tell you. I am a person who is very comfortable with some alone time. I enjoy it. As much as I love my husband and parents, I have always carved out that personal space where I do things which I like without anyone’s interference. I don’t go in search of such time. It comes to me. Be it 10 minutes of a day or an entire weekend when hubby is out of town, I enjoy the time at the same level. I drown in a good book, watch re-runs of movies and shows, roam around the house cleaning and singing along with my favorite song which I can play on endless repeat.
My problem comes when people around me think I will get lonely because I am alone at home and start inviting me over. My MIL and grandma get concerned when hubby has to go out of town and start suggesting people whom I can visit so that I don’t have to stay alone. I appreciate their concern and at the same time politely tell them that I am very very looking forward to some ‘me’ time. After a few attempts, they understood. My mom calls twice a day to see how am doing. I tell her I am so enjoying it. My hubby still feels restless of leaving me alone at home while I am constantly assuring him that I am actually having a party all by myself 🙂 Of course, I will miss being with him but that’s natural. I will deal with it and get on with my work.
So next time you are saying that you are lonely, think twice. Are you alone or are you lonely? My mantra is “If you are not fully comfortable being alone with yourself, then you can’t be so with anyone else.”
I have heard enough cliches when it comes to change. Often in life, we all take a bold step and accept some change in our lives, albeit grudgingly. We have trouble accepting any change because we get neck deep in our comfort zones and don’t want to move. But when we stop and look back, all those changes we embraced were for a good reason. But more often than not, we do not acknowledge this enlightenment that retrospect showers us with. When I saw this topic #StartANewLife campaigned by housing.com, there were many things I wanted to write about. Love, Attitude, Career, Religious belief and otherwise etc. I am choosing a select couple out of many such things in my life to tell the world how I accepted change and how it changed my life.
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My first job took me to an alien city – Hyderabad. When I heard where I was posted after training, my heart sank into my stomach. For one, I had my parents to assure that it is safe and that I can manage. Next, my heart was in Bangalore where Adit had got posted. Then I had my own insecurities to deal with. I set about preparing to go to Hyderabad with fears in my heart and tears in my eyes. It took all my courage to not quit my job then and there and return home. It was my first job and I didn’t want to be a quitter at the first step. With a heavy heart, I accepted what life had given me and set foot in the city.
What happened in the next 20 months was a lesson to me. I learnt a lot from that life. The city gave me so many things – A new language, lot of new friends, an entirely different culture and environment, the ability to withstand pathetic food at PG, the ability to adapt, the patience to figure out things and a lot more. I left the city when finally my transfer came through. When I think back now, I have nothing but good memories about the place. The reason I still needed a transfer out of that place was the sheer distance from home and more importantly, Adit’s office didn’t have his division in Hyderabad. So the onus of moving was on me to be together. Otherwise, I had no qualms about the place. This phase changed my outlook towards life. Ever since, when I feel that I am in a pickle, I remind myself that in retrospect I will be feeling a lot better about it and that I have to just give it time.
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I have always wanted to live in a house owned by me. Rented houses were never for me, not to mention nosy owners,ever increasing rentals and compromises that come along with the fact that one cannot have everything. However, buying a house was always a daunting step for me given the cost of real estate these days. So I kept on dreaming about owning one but never had the courage to step into it. Finally, around the time I got married my dad encouraged me (in fact, he pressed me hard) to take the step. I wasn’t sure even then but then jumped into it with a rush of adrenaline telling me that it’s now or never. And I am glad I did.
The place will be ready in a few months and I cannot be happier that I stood up to it. I wouldn’t say it is all rosy because a lot of responsibilities came along with the house. The financial arrangements, budgeting were and are still a nightmare. But I don’t regret it one bit. Even if I had decided later on to buy a house, I would have to go through the same thing. Maybe even worse since real estate values only shoot up with every passing day. With this big step, my outlook towards being responsible and finances has changed. I have become a lot more responsible about my expenses. Yes, I am not yet as perfect as my parents who never wasted a single penny. But I am working towards it. I am reaching there, one step at a time.
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Image Source: Pinterest
There are many more such incidents that changed my life. All of you would have had such experiences too. Every incident conveys the same point – Embrace the change and start a new life. Over and over many times. Each time, it will not only be a little better but it will also start making sense to you. You can see the big picture forming out of the small pieces, like a jigsaw puzzle. Whenever you feel down, remember – One piece at a time and the puzzle will be solved in no time.
Until later 🙂
This post is for the #StartANewLife campaign by housing.com. Watch the video to know more.
Throughout 2014, I saw bloggers around me writing monthly replay posts and have always thought of joining the club but never got around to. Today as I am lazing at my parents’ place, with mom around to take care of me, pampering me with her food, I thought why not start the trend with a replay of this year and carry it on to the new year. Today is the last day of this year which has been a roller coaster ride with many highs for me. I thank 2014 wholeheartedly for all that it gave me,ending a lot of my troubles and starting a few afresh – but then, that’s life. 2014 ended what some very critical troubles which were started by the previous years and gave me a makeover in many aspects. This post lists the most significant ones – good, bad or ugly they may be, they all gave me something important.
[Not in any chronological order]
I got married to the love of my life in February and if that doesn’t make my year, I don’t know what will! 😀
I had a major role change and domain change when I switched jobs this November. There was a lot of confusion and hesitancy around the switch as people kept discouraging me from doing what I love. But after a lot of pondering and discussions with hubby, I took the leap and so far it looks like a right decision. Hope it stays that way!
I got my Honda Activa gifted by my bro for my wedding. It’s a huge blessing and helps me get a lot of things done that I sometimes feel that I don’t appreciate it enough.
A cute bundle of joy in the form of my nephew came along in November and we named him Pranav. 🙂 I am so happy for my bro and may god bless the family with tons of blessings. I miss the little dude so much since he is in USA and I can’t see him in person any sooner. I console myself by looking at his pics twice a day.
I took up the responsibility of running a home as me and hubby stay alone in Bangalore. It was and is tiring but I like it. I am a huge control freak and having the responsibility of keeping things perfect and trying to improvise all the time gives me a high. [Hubby takes full advantage of it and happily lets me do all the work while he enjoys special time with his toys gadgets 😛 :D]
This year marked so many weddings that as 2014 ends,I can say most of the people in my circle are hitched. We are transitioning into a generation of our own while kids are calling us aunties and uncles. 😮 😐
We lost a grandfather who was so loved and dear. He lived a great life and was the epitome of perfection. We thank him for setting a model for us, showing us how well to live life. We wish him serenity as his soul explores higher dimensions than physical existence.
I read a lot of books this year and with Kindle Paperwhite aiding me, there’s a definite increase in my reading and I am glad.
We booked a flat of our own which we should be moving into this year. We have put a lot into making this our little nest – a lot of decisions were made based on this, a lot of compromises and sacrifices were made for this. Hoping that life will continue to shower us with its blessings. *Fingers Crossed*
Hubby’s health issues are toned down and I pray earnestly that the coming years should be nothing but an improvement.
That’s about it! I am so excited about starting 2015 and I am sure you all are too. So signing off my last post of the year with a warm wish to all you. Wish you all a very happy new year! May 2015 be a better year for all of us, making the world a better place, letting us carry on the legacy to the coming years.
All the images used on this blog are from Google image searches. I try my best to use images that have reuse rights. I do not own any image unless mentioned explicitly. If you own any media/content that is posted on this blog and feel that it is not duly credited, please let me know and I will do the needful if it is a valid request.
Image Source: tumblr
