Ripples of my Reflections

I think, therefore I write

Year: 2014 (Page 5 of 11)

11 years ago, on a Wednesday…

September 10, 2014 / / 14 Comments
wishyouthesame Source: wishyouthesame.wordpress.com

As I turned to my right and tried to open my sleepy eyes, I saw him sleeping like a child with a face that was full of innocence. I couldn’t help but smile as I saw his hands tightly holding mine as he slept on with his dreams for company. As I looked at my mobile for the time, my eyes fixated on the date – September 10. My memory flew immediately to one special Wednesday 11 years ago. Yes! 11 years ago, on such an ordinary Wednesday, I was swept off my feet when my best friend declared to me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

The then amateur me thought that “Well, What’s wrong in having a little more love in life?” and agreed to the proposal gladly. Amateur and innocent might have been where we had started, but in 11 years there have been much more. Much more than anything I could express in words. And this Wednesday today, I am by his side looking at him, remembering our promise, holding our hands, facing life a step at a time. The smile that dawned on my lips reached my eyes and I got up knowing that not only this Wednesday but every day is just as special, as long as we have each other.

Until later 🙂

The transformation

September 4, 2014 / / 6 Comments

This post is inspired by another post I read recently about an unrequited love, a broken person and a hurt heart. It’s easy to break someone but very hard to build the trust again. However hard it is, it would become a lesson in the victim’s life but for you, your karma will hunt you down and kick your a**.

But then in cases where someone plays you knowingly, does the ego ever let go? Does the grudge ever fade? Does the scars ever vanish? Does the anger ever cools completely? That’s what ego is about. That little bit of ego is necessary to uphold your self-respect or so I feel. Maybe I am being amateur, maybe not.

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I have long wanted to let go
The grudge I held has turned futile
It was you who taught me, what it meant to love
And then to lose.

It’s true that if not for you,
My understanding of love would’ve been infertile,
It’s true that I wouldn’t have known how,
And to whom to give my all.

I was too blind to see it, blinded by you,
Then you broke me and the illusion turned vile,
When you showed me what it takes to lose in love,
I saw what I’d done to another loving heart.

Even as I let it out of my mind to flow
My ego clings on to the tip of the pile,
Refusing to erase the grudge now,
Refusing to leave without a scar.

It wants a that bit of regret to stay on,
So that I know all the while,
That it’s always easier to vow,
Than to keep it up.

But for the sake of being a better person,
Wherever you are, thank you for that lesson worthwhile,
But wherever you are, you would never know love,
And that’s for the sake of my ego.

Whether you know it or not, sinners pay
Because there’s always karma’s aisle,
Of course, it might not be just now,
But you are just waiting your turn!

Until later 🙂

P.S :Don’t ask me where I was! I would say 2 things – Work and Health. Just when I thought enough is enough and picked up the spirit to blog, the common cold beat the crap out of me. I haven’t yet recovered from the blow but I figured, what the hell! I can’t and won’t be deterred by this.

P.P.S: I haven’t picked my laptop at home for more than 2 weeks 🙁 Poor me!

The divine paradox

August 4, 2014 / / 12 Comments

lingam-1

I recently happened to listen to the long forgotten devotional albums, Jyothi Vativaana Annamalai by UnniKrishnan and Om Namah Shivaya by SPB. Not that I am getting any religious than I was, but I stumbled across these in the pursuit of something else. It invoked a lot of childhood memories as my mom loved them and used to listen to them all the time, I wonder where those radio cassettes are lying now. Man, the time for cassettes has been long buried!

Anyway, my point is I loved hearing some of those songs and couldn’t get them out of my mind. Especially the “Shivaya Nama Om” song in UnniKrishnan’s album. What a voice! It was as if something from within your mind is calling out to you. I am not a fan of Idol worship or to be precise, man-made concepts of divinity. I am a believer of natural divinity in the form of a central force that is omni-present. So this song failed to invoke the spiritual aspect towards Lord Shiva as many would expect but what an internal insight it brought to me in the way of my beliefs and perspectives.

This experience left me pondering about divinity within every self and how we can peel through the layers of ego, human emotions and other superficial stuff and reach it. And the music composition just had me swaying to the tune with eyes closed. It’s been a while since I connected this deeply with anything that’s construed as religious.

When I was pondering over this, an intriguing question came to my mind. I know humans represent Lord Shiva in the form of a Lingam and that the shiva linga is the collective representation of lingam and yoni. That is the ultimate representation of the male-female oneness, creative energy and the potential of creation. You can check this wiki entry for more details. What had me thinking was another aspect of general belief that Lord Shiva is the destructive aspect in the process of life. I have heard how people name the lords Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva responsible for creation, protection and destruction stages of the life cycle. However, the shivalinga which is used to represent the lord of destruction actually represents the power and potential of creation. Therein, this paradox already shows that there is nothing but one divine energy which is probably too enormous for the amateur human minds to comprehend that they give names and forms to the force.

I don’t have any issues with naming the force to one’s belief and follow one’s preferences. What really bothers me is the fight over whose perspective is greater and forcing others directly/indirectly to believe that each one’s perspective is THE right one.What’s so bad about believing in something for your own sake? What’s so bad about letting another person believe something that is in contrast with what you believe and accept that it’s their right to do so?

And this divine paradox makes my belief stronger and shows me that I am on the right path. Whether I will reach the destination is a different thing altogether. Even now, I don’t force this perspective of mine on anyone. I am just sharing what sparked in my mind. I so wish the other side would do the same to me by not forcing me to believe what my mind can’t process. That’s so egoistic and there’s nothing divine about it.

Everyone has a way of connecting with the inner force and it’s better to let them do it. Enabling them to connect is one thing but forcing them to take the same path as us is a different thing which is just wrong. Because our perspective helps us connect with the inner self, if I force someone to believe what I do, it means I am forcing them to connect with my inner self the way I do. That defeats their purpose of seeking divinity.

Until later 🙂

P.S: Heavy, right? Yeah, I like to write about such thought processes as writing helps me to analyze myself.

My Royal Black

July 22, 2014 / / 10 Comments

Black has been my favorite color ever since I can remember! It’s  very difficult to establish this bias towards black when you have a dad who’s as orthodox as the day is long 😛 Yet, I never staggered for a second. Black has always been and always will be my favorite color. The royalty and dignity I see in black is never fulfilled by any other color. Be it a jolly top or a formal attire, be it a backpack or a travel suitcase, be it a tiny earring stud or a dangling, black is always my color. In short, my go-to color for anything. So here are 5 things I would love to have on my list, I had a really tough time choosing them.

A full-length satin dress:

I have always been head over heels with those flowing full length satin dresses and more so with the black ones. The rich feel of it, the royal look of black is always something that captivates my mind. Black attire has always been my favorite and I had to fight tooth and nail with my superstitious relatives that black doesn’t mean mourning by nature. It was man-made, which is well proven by the fact that in the northern part of India, people wear white for mourning. Any color has a definition, but that’s what you associate with it and not a hard-coded rule. So, I will add a full-length attire in royal black, no matter what anyone says, when I lay hands on the right one 🙂

Waist-length jet black hair:

My hair is black but it is not that dense jet-black mass that I so envy on so many people. My hair problems and fighting genetic combinations that cause hair-fall is a long story. But if I could, I would want that jet-black tresses waving their way down to my waist and I would never ever think of cutting it.

A sleek black car:

Who wouldn’t have this on their list? Though I know maintenance would be one heck of a job, I have nurtured a desire for a black car ever since I laid my eyes on one. The sleek finish complemented by the color that stands out and blends in paradoxically, is irreplaceable for me. No other color can fulfill that desire.

A complete set of black metal accessories:

I love artificial jewelery and this lead me to a journey discovering a plethora of colors. Amongst all that I hoard at commercial street, I wish I could have a perfect collection of black metal accessories. It’s always one short, either the bracelet doesn’t go with the earrings or the watch doesn’t fall in line with the bracelet or the pendant dominates the look and takes away the attention from the other things. Nope, it won’t do at all. 🙁

Black interiors for my home:

One might see so many interior decor ideas today, but nothing catches my eye than the black and white themes. These have been doing the rounds for a while but still stay in fashion. I wish the home I call as mine would satisfy this thirst. I already have a platter of ideas in my mind and am looking for more. And I will keep looking until my now-under-construction home becomes complete. 🙂

So what’s on your list that’s royal black?

This post is  written for #WhatTheBlack activity at BlogAdda.com.

Until later 🙂

Broken

July 22, 2014 / / 4 Comments
slodiveSource: slodive.com

I clutched at my heart, feeling the pain
Helpless, my silent scream rent the air
Of course, the evil will get their share
But right now, my tears fall as rain.

What insane mind could think like this?
Alas! I can’t act sooner, I thought
Against my binding shackles I fought,
My beseeching voice came out a hiss!

I did my job well, what went wrong?
Stop the madness, stop the sin!
How can you hurt your own kin?
Can’t they hear my forlorn song?

Turn them into smoldering ashes, I will
Waiting for my turn to fulfill my task
I’ll make sure they get their ask
For my karma is incomplete and still

May my children find the strength, I bless
For that’s all is in my power now
I know, Time will make evil bow
Until then, erase your scars & start afresh!

This is the cry of God that rents the air every time a human sins, but sadly we are too deaf to hear it. They shall pay, they all shall pay for every single sin. Karma WILL balance things out. This write-up is dedicated to the 6 year-old survivor of the atrocious crime at VIBGYOR school, Bangalore and many more such souls who experience unspeakable and immeasurable pain at the hands of evil roaming around on earth. I cannot for the life of me process how such people exist and how they are even capable of such thought process but apparently they do. It sucks that I can’t do anything useful than to sit back and write a dedication. It sucks that these things still keep happening one after other with no reaction whatsoever other than a few weeks of media hype. It sucks that these things leave us not wanting a girl child for the sake of her safety.

Let my daughter be unborn instead of having to face this. Gone are the days when people didn’t want a girl child because of their belief that a girl child means expense and no support to parents. These are days when we don’t want a girl child for the fear of animals living in concrete jungles. We don’t want her to set foot in this broken world which is polluted by jackals that prey on us. Every time a girl steps out of her home, fear rips her parents’ hearts and hers whether she will come back safe.

Every case of abuse is backfired at the victim, stating that she was out past 10 at night and she was wearing provocative clothes and such other attempts to save one’s ass from fire. I ask those lousy loose-tongued sickos, What crime did this 6 year-old do? Was she out past 10 at night? Was she wearing provocative clothes? Hell, at her age where nothing but innocence prevails, she would not even know what has happened to her! Her little mind would be asking only one question over and over – What’s happening to me? Does any of us have an answer? Does any of us have a justification for what she had to and has to go through at this age? Can any of us heal the scars that she bears even before she learned what’s the meaning of the word ‘scar’? If this is how it is going to be, then I wish that the world be turned into ashes. This world is too broken to be fixed. Let everything be wiped out and started anew. Let’s see if humans remain humans on their second chance!

Not really wishing for an until later,

Keirthana

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