I think, therefore I write

Year: 2017 (Page 1 of 3)

From shitty mornings to awesome days

When I wake up in the morning, struggling with sleeplessness, my day ahead seems to be filled with discomfort, frustrating chillness, food that taste like feet, fatigue, endlessly long boredom, a 100 things to do but the helplessness of not being able to do them, pain in every bone, muscle, tissue and cell. Though I know all this is part of the journey and it is all worth it, to experience it every day kind of puts a damper on my motivation and attempts to reassure myself take longer with each day.

But then…

You wake up and my day suddenly fills up with warm, toasty fingers intertwined, your smile lighting up the entire place, your massages beating the shit out of my pain and discomfort, naughty anecdotes that make us laugh, things that make us reminisce about our childhood days together, snuggling a little more into the comforter to touch the heat of your toes and go mmmm.. That’s when I know I just have to pull through until you wake up.

And right at that moment, when you open your sleepy eyes and smile at me, I revel in the egoistic happiness that I am right. If not about any other thing, I am right about you in my life.

Until later 🙂

Overthinking about parenting

I was sitting in a Starbucks outlet savoring an ill-chosen Cafe latte (I like cold brew than hot ones), waiting for Adit to join me. Since I had let my phone battery run down to 10% and did not bother to charge it before venturing out, I couldn’t do what one usually does while passing time at a Starbucks outlet – stare at your phone, browsing through mundane stuff. So instead, I chose to indulge in some people watching – not the creepy type but the subtle type. 🙂

Everyone was busy with their phones or talking among themselves when a family walked in. From the usual Indian context setting, I could figure out it was a group consisting of a mother with her 2 kids and either her parents or in-laws. Among the kids, the daughter was the one who immediately caught my eye. She could be about 10-12 years old and was dressed in a cool t-shirt and shorts, with short hair, fancy accessories. She was really cute and carried herself well. My mind, with typical human tendencies, started its overthinking about how far ahead kids these days are.

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ஆறாத காயங்கள்!

ஊராரின் வசை அம்புகள் அவ்வளவு வலிக்கவில்லை
உன் மௌனம் தான் என் நெஞ்சை கீறிவிட்டது
பேசுவார் வாய் அடைக்க முடியாது தான்
ஆனால் ஒரு வார்த்தை கூட மறுக்காத உன் மௌனம்
சரியென்று அர்த்தமில்லை!

என் முயற்சியின் தீவிரத்தையும் என் அன்பின் ஆழத்தையும்
தள்ளி வைப்பது போல் உன் மௌனம் அமைய
இந்த வாழ்க்கை காயங்கள் எப்போதும் இப்படி தான்
ஏற்று கொள்ளும் போது வலி தெரியாது
உதாசீனத்தின் போது தெரியும் அளவிற்கு!

உன் மௌனத்தின் அழகு, என்றாவது ஒரு நாள்
என்னை புண்படுத்த பழகும் என்று
கனவிலும் நான் நினைத்ததில்லை
உடைந்து போன என் இதயத்தை ஓட்ட பார்க்கிறேன்
எப்படி ஒட்டினாலும் அது மறுபடி துடிக்கவில்லை!

There’s something about you

There’s something about you
That smokes every feeling out of me
Stroking my heart strings
Playing me like a violin

There’s something about you
That stumps me awestruck
Giving me a brain freeze
Every time I see you smile

There’s something about you
That kindles the past
Reassures the present
And hopes for the future

There’s something about you
That clearly shows me my purpose
Showing me my content and joy
Reasserting my inner peace

You are the life, the soul
And literally everything else
For me and about me.

Until later 🙂

A case for Kindle

As much as I hate giving up buying hard bound or paperback books from the shop, getting lost in the new book smell and the pages of a whole new world, I recently realize Kindle has more perks to it than I care to admit. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t ever want to be that person who only buys intangible ebooks and I will not be. Now and then, I buy paperbacks to indulge and also to rest the guilt in me for moving away from them, even for a tiny bit.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize Kindle has more perks than I care to admit:

  • I love book shopping in book stores but currently I am on bed rest for a medical condition and I cannot go book shopping even if I wanted to. And since I have more time on hand, I can read more books at a faster rate and I find myself restless to wait until Amazon/Flipkart delivers the books I order. But with Kindle, one click and voila, I have a book to read in a matter of minutes.
  • Again, for a reason, I can only read books that are light, books that don’t turn my imagination to gore and violence. I was reading ‘The song of Fire and Ice’ and I had to stop midway. So this cuts down the type of books that I can read. So I get more restless once I find a book that I can read. I need to have it immediately. Kindle to the rescue!
  • I can carry my entire collection in one notebook sized device. No need to worry that I left a book at my parent’s place but have a craving to read it again. Of course, I shouldn’t be as mindless as to leave my Kindle behind! 😀
  • The biggest perk of all – With Kindle, lending books gets complicated. I cannot lend one book and read another – a good reason to not lend books. I am not selfish, I am just possessive about my books and book borrowers have only proved me right. At least, those who borrowed from me. I have a borrower who borrowed a book an year ago and never returned it. I doubt if she even remembers she borrowed it from me or if she has the book safely now. I have another one who borrowed 4 volumes of a classic and returned only 3 to me. I had to do everything short of begging to get the 3 volumes back. And she keeps saying she returned all 4. Sigh! I hate incomplete book sets. The saddest part is she didn’t even read the books. The least she could have done is keep it safe and return it, if she is not able to read it. These book borrowers being close relatives doesn’t help matters because you can only ask so many times. And if they say I already returned it and you know they are lying, well, what can you do? Spoil the relationship by speaking out or be quiet and mourn the loss of yet another book.

This is one reason I have a closed bookshelf at my place. I go gaga over open, artistic bookshelves but I have seen people who don’t even turn a page on a regular day ask if they can borrow a book when they see such beautifully arranged books. Can’t blame them, it is the magic of books. But I never get the books back and that’s the part I hate. Even worse, I get the books back in a dilapidated state. It just breaks my heart. Anyway, I digress!

So with Kindle, my heart rejoices that I need not go through the pain of lending and waiting anxiously for the safe return of my book babies. And when I am off my bed rest, I will buy as many paperbacks as I want and keep them in my closed bookshelf 😀

Until later 🙂

P.S: Don’t take me to be heartless because of my rant against book borrowers. I know a good book borrower when I see one. One who loves books as much as I do and one who understands the magic of reading. Such people rarely borrow books. They only do so, with great hesitation, when they can’t help it, like they really cannot get the book they want or if they want to check out the book first.

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