Ripples of my Reflections

I think, therefore I write

Author: Keirthana (Page 22 of 66)

January : Gearing up

February 9, 2015 / / 10 Comments

Here goes the month of January 2015 in our anniversary year, the final month followed by the big reveal of what I gifted hubby today :)

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Dear Adit,

New year started out quite well but we were in different places when the clock struck 12. Well, I blame destiny for it. We had to make do with the phone calls that started a bit before 12 so that no one else wishes us a happy new year before each of us could wish the other. It reminded me of all those late night phone calls with which we survived during college days 🙂

You joined your new job and I missed all our IM conversations, our lunch and fights over who is making it late for work everyday. We had made personalized calendars with some of our memories on display for each month. It came out so well that we made one each for adorning our work stations 🙂 I kept looking back at how different life was one year back. All the tension surrounding the marriage, the arrangements for the marriage, phew! We can safely say we have never had such an exhausting phase so far in our lives. It made me question all the societal norms and the associated hype about having to get married to be with the one you love.

The month gave me a parting gift in the form of a blogger meet arranged by Indiblogger and ASUS. I was so thrilled and you were ever so encouraging. It was my first meet ever and the experience had me rambling about the bloggers I met, the activities that we participated in, for the next couple of days. As January picked up pace, so did our lives and we geared up and are all set for another exciting year together.

On the whole, January was back in style to show us that life maybe unfair, but it’s good nevertheless!

And did I tell you? I love you 😉

Love,

Wifey

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This ends the series of love letters that I have been writing to my hubby as a gift for our wedding anniversary. So far, despite being a Monday and having to work, the day has been a good one for us. I made Gulab Jamun all by myself for the very first time and all our colleagues happily gobbled them up. But being a newbie, I didn’t know how much to make and ended up making twice the number than we actually need. So right now I have a huge box of Gulab Jamuns left tempting me to forget my weight woes and give myself a treat.

We took off a couple of hours from work in the afternoon for a lunch date 😉 And the evening awaits us with its magic. I got a Kindle Paperwhite from hubby long back which was technically supposed to be our anniversary gift. So today’s gift was a gorgeous Kundan jewelry set 😀 And here’s my gift to him, I saw this one on twitter and was hooked to the idea – The 365 jar! It appealed to me as extremely romantic. And moreover, it’s not a gift that’d get over in one day. It’s a gift of sorts everyday till our next anniversary.

tumblr_nhvuouECVW1u25jz6o1_500Image source: tumblr.com

When I thrust this into his hands first thing today morning, all he could do in his drowsy state was stare at it wordlessly. But I am not the one to let go without a reaction, hence I prodded him awake and demanded what he thought of it and you know what he said? It’s so like you!! I was like, “do I take this as a compliment or an insult?” And his reply was “As a compliment, of course!”  And that’s all I am ever gonna need my love 🙂

Until later 🙂

P.S: This also counts as my action replay post for January since this is pretty much that happened!

December : The kick-back month

February 8, 2015 / / 0 Comments

Here goes the month of December 2014 in our anniversary year, number 11 on the list 🙂

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Dear Adit,

The month was a refreshing break for both of us. We were already enjoying what would be our short stint together in the same company. It was very comfortable to have you ping over the IM and have lunch together. Even though we had a very interesting year together, it went by fast and by December, we were wondering where all the days went by.

Remember how with days passing by, I missed my nephew so much and consoled myself seeing him attempt the adorable air-kicks that he was practicing on Skype? We also had our annual shut down at the end of the month. It was my first kind, I had been working in companies where there was no shut-down. we enjoyed the vacation at Trichy and got all the relaxation we wanted. We also got your health check-up and bless our stars, everything was okay. How glad were we!

The biggest surprise of the month was you getting a Kindle for me, preponing the anniversary gift by a leaping 2 months, just because I was pouting for a gift during Christmas. Finally, the kindle search materialized for us! Anyway, without much ado, our December passed by and we have stepped into the new year with high hopes – moving into our new flat, career achievements and stuff like that!

And did I tell you? I love you 😉

Love,

Wifey

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Until later 🙂

November : The roller coaster

February 7, 2015 / / 4 Comments

Here goes the month of November 2014 in our anniversary year, the 10th on the list:)

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Dear Adit,

November was a roller coaster that we never foresaw. There were some changes coming in but we never knew everything would come together and throw our plans all over the place. The beginning of November saw me getting out of my job, enjoying a week’s break and then joining my dream job. November was the month when you decided on quitting your home company and the day I moved in my new job, you quit yours. And the company I joined and the company you quit being one and the same, we couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.

November also brought a loss, we lost a beloved grandpa. He was your maternal grandfather and a gem of a man! We struggled to cope with the loss, traveling to Chennai for the grievance, finishing of the formalities that joining my new job required. It was like all hell had broken loose. We planned, packed, changed plans, then re-packed but nothing ever fell in place.

Only after 20 days into the month, we were able to sit down and think. The 14th of November brought my nephew, Pranav into the world and I was on cloud nine. My only regret was my bro being in the States and I couldn’t hold my nephew in my hands 🙁 We spent a good deal of time on skype, trying to come to a conclusion whether he resembled my sis-in-law or my bro more. Another dilemma we had was whether his birthday was November 14 as per US time-zone or November 15 as per ours! My parents were all for 15th while I stuck to 14th. The little dude was born there and hence that’s the day I am gonna wish him on 🙂 Plus it is a special day being Children’s day and all!

The 17th was your birthday but we were not able to do much because we were too busy and overcome with grief to do anything. I was glad that I had made your gift in advance, a hand-made greeting card and a key-ring of hearts with messages on each hearts. I had made both of them from scratch and was very happy about how they had turned out. I knew you were not in the mood but I couldn’t let your birthday go without a cake! So I did something out of the box this time. I made custard and had it frozen in the shape of a heart. I was breaking my head as how to decorate it as I did not have any cherries at hand but then raisins came to the rescue. We had a quiet birthday, reliving our memories and sinking into nostalgia.

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The end of November brought some peace that we deserved and desired! November was life’s idea of showing us who’s in control.

And did I tell you? I love you 😉

Love,

Wifey

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Until later 🙂

October : A birthday month

February 6, 2015 / / 4 Comments

Here goes the month of October 2014 in our anniversary year, the 9th on the list:)

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Dear Adit,

October brought my birthday and strangely I wasn’t too much excited. I don’t know where all my kiddish excitement went and when all the maturity came in. However, you did take me by surprise by smuggling a cake and other gifts. I can understand how difficult it would have been for you to do that since it’s only the 2 of us at home and nothing misses my eye 😉 Well, the reason is I am always cleaning something and hence am all over the place most times. The party wasn’t much because it was just the two of us, but there’s something incredibly beautiful and romantic about two people in love, cuddled together on the couch at midnight. munching on the cake sleepily. Not being party people, we’d take this any day over a noisy and tiring party. I loved the Fastrack watch that you gifted me, it was just so us- simple yet fashionable. Durable too! 😀

Diwali came real close to birthday and we had our first Diwali together at my parents’ place. Remember how the neighbor kids were so excited about the crackers and were trying to convince us to join them. Although we are not the kind who enjoy crackers and loud noises, it sure was something to see that 1000W smile on their faces when we gifted some colorful crackers to them.

Your sister’s wedding happened in the beginning of this month but we couldn’t help out more because we had had a tiring week and felt lost in the even huger crowd that turned up. I was already on notice period and it was a god send that her wedding was on a holiday since I couldn’t take off from work. October was a month of festivities with the wedding, my birthday, our Diwali all crowding us and most of all, your birthday was coming up in November and I had to think of gifts. Almost all my gifts are hand-made and hence it takes a long time to decide and finish it. You didn’t know but by October I had started making the gift 😉

And did I tell you? I love you 😉

Love,

Wifey

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Until later 🙂

Posing for a Candid Click? Think Twice!

February 5, 2015 / / 6 Comments

We all are narcissists, at least in secret. Whoever thinks otherwise is living in denial. Well, don’t tell me you don’t do a mental jig every time you have a good hair day or when suddenly the mirror seems to tell you that you are fashionable. It is not the narcissism that’s bothersome, we have all been there, done that. But the heights to which we seem to be reaching, that’s something! Since I am in the range of “that right age” that the bane of a society tags you with, I have seen a lot of weddings (including mine) and wedding invitations doing their rounds in 2014-2015. And hence the mad rush to schedule photo shoots, book the dates of photographers etc.. And afterwards the psychic state of mind to get them developed and edited (You wouldn’t want a hair out of place, would you?) and then… what else, let me think, Oh! uploading them on FB. I am no exception here because I too wanted to be a part of it and would have done all of these if my marriage had been the conventional one. People who know my story know that my marriage was an oxymoron – Every bit conventional but then again every bit unconventional 😛 So I would be a hypocrite if I said that I am holier than thou. I wouldn’t have done the FB bit because I am not on FB but then I would have done every other part of it.Thankfully(This is where I thank my stars and everything else), I did not get the chance to do it. I got the lesson without having to attend the class.

Well, I have observed a lot to safely say that nowadays all kinds of photography, especially for a wedding, are termed candid. Yes, there is no more clicks that are like those pics that you saw in your parents’ wedding album. But do we know the meaning of candid? Check Wiki’s definition  of Candid Photography here:

candid

Image Source : Screen Grab from Google search of ‘Candid’

You cannot do the “without subject’s knowledge” in a wedding picture obviously and that’s fine. But then you cannot call it candid either. And do you think the bride and groom would not notice/remember that the camera’s clicking away throughout the ceremony? One part of their mind will be busy arranging their facial features so that they get decent clicks all the way, while the other part is busy looking up in the directory, how the aunty in the red saree is related? They would have to answer when the (in)famous question is uttered no?

“Congrats beta, I saw you when you were this little, Do you remember me?”

“Of Course I don’t, you just said it. I was this little when you saw me.”

So my point is, when the photographer is asking you to pose every bit since that is indeed the finest day of your life, how can you call it candid? You can go to parks, empty roads and villages and pose like you are all one with the nature for your shoots. But the truth is you are posing (consciously or sub-consciously) for a click. And posing for a click makes it the opposite of candid. I have seen all rosy smiles in post-wedding shoots and the albums put up in FB for some friends to like and for others to go green in jealousy but in reality, the couple were having a tough time adjusting to each other. Especially in arranged marriages, a lot of disagreements crop up once the honey moon period is over. Because, that’s when you wake up and face the reality. You run a household, catch up with work, take care of in-laws and do grown-up stuff with this new person. That’s when you realize, all this while you have been on cloud nine and you are slowly landing on earth. It happens in love marriages too because the role of a girlfriend/boyfriend is much easier than that of a wife/husband. Taking up responsibility is new and it would bring you face to face with reality, whether you like it or not.

chandlerbingImage Source: questionablechoicesinparenting.com

Okay, now let me get to another point. Everyone cannot be photogenic and we know that. We all have our pitfalls. So when a person who is not so good with the camera and goes like Chandler in front of one, what would you do? Take my hubby for example. Although he is not as bad as Chandler, he cannot fake a smile/pose for the life of him. But when he does smile, he’s awesome. So if we choose candid clicks for him, then I would end up with a smiling me and a very uncomfortable him by my side [Which is what kinda happened to us]. Since I couldn’t entirely get out of this candid click mania and also since our photographer insisted that we pose ‘candidly’ because nowadays everyone does only candeeeed potograpy, we did what we had to do. But the bottom line is we never bothered about it. We ended up having a big laugh over the pics and then gave the albums to our parents to continue the routine of showing to every relative visiting us.

We couldn’t care! Heck, I know the guy for more than 2 decades and have been in a relationship for more than a decade! Do you think your camera can capture his expressions more candidly than my eyes? I can still remember how he looked every moment on our wedding day without even seeing the album. So spending thousands on wedding photography is more because the photographer handles the camera much better than you and he knows how to edit the pics to make you look like you want to look. It is NOT because the photo is candid. So please oh please, accept THAT. Relive the moments and not the poses. Bring out all the smiles not just for putting up on social media but for yourselves. And if you want a nice click to freeze that moment for you, go ahead and do it. I am not against preserving memories, I have preserved a truck load of them in form of pictures, video and audio recordings. Just don’t label them candid when they are not. Smile for yourself, not for the world!

Until later 🙂

P.S: This post is not to trash wedding photography, I understand it is also someone’s livelihood and even I have a few friends who make a living out it. This post is just to drive home the point that what is termed as Candid photography is not the case everywhere. And that spending thousands on it just to satisfy peer pressure is not worth it. If you don’t like it… Well, I can’t do anything about it. I probably won’t, even if I can.

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