Ripples of my Reflections

I think, therefore I write

Category: ADIT & ME (page 1 of 7)

Why am I not bored?

Having been in an incredibly long relationship and married to my childhood sweetheart, the first question many ask me is – “Are you not bored?”.  When I say no, people ask, “How can you not be?”.

I cannot understand how anyone can be bored with another person just because they have been together for a long time. For me, boredom comes with personality mismatch, not with the length of a relationship. Do you get bored with your parents just because you have known them all your life? Or do you get bored with your siblings? No. You get frustrated, annoyed. angry when conflicts arise but you don’t get bored.

Also, people change incredibly fast. I am not the same person I was last year. So no matter how many number of years you put in a relationship, you have something to work on. In fact, a long relationship means that real hard work has gone in settling the chaos so that it stays afloat. What others see might be a fairy tale but there will be skeletons laid to rest (not buried, for I believe trust is the core of a relationship) before the fairy tale was built.

So pardon me if you can’t see it, but I don’t see myself getting bored with my husband just because I have known him almost all my life. And after so much time together, if I find some personality trait of his boring, I trust myself to be able to tell it to his face and I trust him enough to do something about it. 🙂

 

The story of my tattoo

I had never thought of tattoos much except about the pain part. That must tell you a lot about my ability to handle pain.
I still look away when I have to give a blood test. That must tell you about my cringes when I think of/see needles.

So I never imagined myself getting a tattoo, of all things. So I was kind of scared and surprised when my brain suggested that I get one. However, the motivation behind the idea was strong enough for me to sail through the rocky seas. It was our third wedding anniversary and I was racking my brains on what to gift Adit. I try to do something different each year to surprise him. Some I win, some I lose. But I try. That’s when it struck me that I could get his name tattooed.

The idea part was the easiest. What followed was endless days and weeks of overthinking. Will it pain? If yes, how much? Will this surprise make Adit happy or mad? Do I get his entire name tattooed or something symbolic? Where? Which artist? and so on. There were many sleepless nights spent on some of these questions. And after some major planning and a few stupid questions to my friends who have tattoos, I decided I was going to do it.

I had to inform Adit that I was going to do something special as I couldn’t justify me wanting to elope somewhere without a reason on our anniversary and yet wanted it to remain a surprise. So I left a puzzled Adit at home and went to the studio. Again, a few stupid questions and many jittery moments later, I was pleasantly surprised at how less it pained (of course, I had chosen a fleshy arm to bear the brunt and had some romantic songs to listen to as a distraction) and how pleased I was with the result. And I had no regrets. It felt like it was a great idea and if I had to do it again, I would.

So as I wore my tattoo with pride, Adit was surprised by the gesture and mildly annoyed by the permanence of what I did (Like I said, some I win, some I lose). I was fine with his reaction but found other family members’ and friends’ reactions hilarious. For some reason, the first question people asked was if Adit got my name tattooed. And my reaction was – well, why should he? Is this a quid pro quo?

So after over an year, I still take pride in my tattoo and love it to bits. Will I get another one? Well, if I feel like it and if something that’s worthy enough comes along, yes.

Until later 🙂

A perfect gift

Dear Aditi,

Just in time for our 4th anniversary, you come as the perfect gift
Shining like the sun, you are an instant hit
Blessed we are, to have been through this journey!

Baby doll, you are the life that brings us lessons
You are the soul that teaches us acceptance
You are the light that guides us to our purpose!

Thank you for choosing us, princess! 🙂

********

Also, here is a little something I wrote for your dad during the last few days of my pregnancy. We were scared and this was an attempt to reassure ourselves.

Parenthood

Amidst all the chaos and troubles,
Together we created something,
Something that is as beautiful,
As wonderful and as unpredictable,
As life itself.

This life that blossoms from within us,
With a spark of its own, marked as us and ours,
Truly makes our journey remarkable,
The one that we started all those years ago,
Blissfully unaware of what we had set out to do.

Just the two of us might fade into a shadow, but
Only to be replaced by the beauty of the three of us.
There’s only going to be more of you
And hence more of my love for you
So there’s nothing missing out.

Let’s walk into this lane of our journey,
Hand in hand, just as innocently,
As blissfully, and as ignorantly,
As we did all those years ago deciding to be together forever,
For life will teach and take care of us,
Just as it has all these years now.

*****

Until later 🙂

From shitty mornings to awesome days

When I wake up in the morning, struggling with sleeplessness, my day ahead seems to be filled with discomfort, frustrating chillness, food that taste like feet, fatigue, endlessly long boredom, a 100 things to do but the helplessness of not being able to do them, pain in every bone, muscle, tissue and cell. Though I know all this is part of the journey and it is all worth it, to experience it every day kind of puts a damper on my motivation and attempts to reassure myself take longer with each day.

But then…

You wake up and my day suddenly fills up with warm, toasty fingers intertwined, your smile lighting up the entire place, your massages beating the shit out of my pain and discomfort, naughty anecdotes that make us laugh, things that make us reminisce about our childhood days together, snuggling a little more into the comforter to touch the heat of your toes and go mmmm.. That’s when I know I just have to pull through until you wake up.

And right at that moment, when you open your sleepy eyes and smile at me, I revel in the egoistic happiness that I am right. If not about any other thing, I am right about you in my life.

Until later 🙂

நினைத்ததில்லை

ஒரு ஆணின் கண்கள் இத்தனை அழகாய் இருக்கும் என நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
உன் கண்களை காணும் வரை.

ஒரு ஆணின் கைகள் இத்தனை மென்மையாய் இருக்கும் என நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
நீ என்னை தழுவும் வரை.

ஒரு ஆணின் இதயம் பூ போல் இருக்கும் என நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
உன்னை காதலிக்கும் வரை.

ஒரு ஆணின் கோபம் இத்தனை ஆழமாக இருக்கும் என நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
உன் கண்களின் சீற்றத்தை காணும் வரை.

ஒரு ஆணின் சிரிப்பு இத்தனை சிலிர்ப்பாய் இருக்கும் என நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
உன் சிரிப்பு என்னை தீண்டும் வரை.

ஒரு ஆணின் குரல் என் உயிரின் இசையை மீட்டும் என நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
உன் குரலின் இசை கேட்கும் வரை.

ஒரு ஆணை வர்ணித்து கவிதை எழுதுவேன் என் நான் நினைத்ததில்லை,
இன்று உன்னை நினைத்து இதை நான் எழுதும் வரை.

*******

Something inspired by hubby.

Forgive the stereotyping in the poem – I hate stereotyping, but had to do it to write it in the way I wanted it to sound 🙂

Until later 🙂

Older posts