Ripples of my Reflections

I think, therefore I write

Category: I OPINE (Page 11 of 15)

“Gift Vouchers” and “Complimentary Coupons”

October 18, 2013 / / 4 Comments

As we all know, there are quite a many gift vouchers and complimentary coupons floating around in the name of advertising. With a lot of experience, we have also come to know the tremendous role of that little * which redirects to a footnote, “Terms and Conditions apply” or “Offer valid only on blah blah” etc. Having had such experiences of our own and after this fiasco, me and Aditya never opted for gift coupons or filling anything for the same purpose.

However, as we were offered the inner circle membership card after a shopping session at Max, we noticed there were a lot of our frequent haunts which were covered in that card and hence decided to take the card. At the least, we can redeem the points into some shopping. We got a bunch of vouchers with the card which were the usual group with hidden terms and conditions. While we threw everything out, the coupons for Cafe Coffee Day caught our eye because it is a frequent haunt and the terms were conducive for us. Also one other coupon which offered a “Pick one out of the 4 – Movie for two, Aroma facial, Day out, Dinner for two” kind of thing was okay in terms. So we decided to use just those 2. Of course, it came with a very short period of validity which did not bother us. We were just thinking if we are able to use it within that time, we will use it else chuck it. We chose a movie for 2 because only that made sense to us and got tickets for Besharam. Other than the personal feeling that we could have gotten tickets for a better movie, that coupon was okay. The CCD experiences were the reason behind this post.

We did happen to go to Cafe Coffee Day a couple of times within that validity period and here’s what we faced:

It took some time to the attendants to understand that it is indeed Cafe Coffee Day’s coupon in spite of the logo. They were baffled of how to apply the coupon in spite of the simple bar code scanning system according to which the coupon was designed. We indeed succeeded in using it at the phoenix market city and Indira nagar outlets. The experiences were funny. At phoenix market city, we used the coupon which said Cafe latte free on a bill of Rs.100 or more. The Cafe latte was served in a paper cup instead of the normal porcelain cup. We joked about it that they had done so because it is just a complimentary drink or maybe they ran out of washed cups and let it pass. It didn’t bother us much.

The funnier one was at Indira nagar outlet. There, we had a bill of 150 odd rupees and wanted to apply the coupon for Rs. 150 and above which gave Tropical Iceberg as the free complimentary drink. Surprisingly, the coupon was not recognized by the scanner and so we applied the coupon which had a Choco-frappe complimentary on a bill of Rs.140 and above. Adit was joking to me that they will serve the frappe in a paper cup but in fact they served it in the normal way – in the big glass. The height of it was the glass had 90% ice cubes and 10% of frappe. I was like “Who puts this many ice cubes in a drink?” I was wondering if they are doing it intentionally because they are giving it away for free and when I pointed it out to the CCD guys, all they had to offer was an awkward smile and a seemingly innocent blink.

One might think “Why is she making a fuss about this? After all, they are giving it for free. She has at least got something out of it”, That’s not it. People do not go and ask for coupons. They force it on us stating the various double-edged benefits. Then they put a short validity on the benefits and lure common people to buy something unnecessarily just to get gifts. Even if we are not fooled by all of this and just use it based on chance and choice, they do not give the complimentary items as they are supposed to be. All I am saying is, instead of giving a glass full of ice cubes in the name of a complimentary drink, you can refrain from giving out coupons. The things that go unnoticed in the name of advertising, promotion of products are countless. It’s better to not take any coupons at all and if you chance upon them while buying something genuinely needed for you, it’s better to just ignore them. Ignoring such things only encourage the dealers to do more such things. Out of the ocean of advertising vouchers, there are only a few which are genuinely promotional and give you what they promise. Others are just plain hokum. Wake up, people!

Until later 🙂

Judgemental

October 2, 2013 / / 6 Comments

Before you judge my life or my character…

Walk in my shoes, Walk the path I have travelled…

Live my sorrow, my doubts, my pain and my laughter…

Remember everyone has a story to tell…

When you have lived my life, then you can judge me.

Until later 🙂

Dance with the words

September 12, 2013 / / 6 Comments

A wise man once told me “A writer should always be impartial” and that got me thinking. Are we really impartial? We have our own spaces to write what we want and we have to admit that sometimes emotions climb up to the top priority and not the check on the bias in thoughts. I would be lying if I say all the posts I write are impartial. The perspective does creep in a bit now and then. As for me, being impartial is the mark of a great writer. To reach there, one needs a lot of shaping, tinkering and chiseling to be done to the way we think.

There are two kinds of writing – the one where we possess words and dictate their flow and the one where words possess us and dictate the flow of our thoughts. Perspective creeps into both forms although it comes through the former way more than the latter.

Possession over words comes with great thinking and effort. We dictate how we want to convey what we think. We refine every word to show or hide what is portrayed before our vision. The feeling of complete command over what is written is good but it never gets as ecstatic as the next form. When the words possess us, the feeling is inexplicable. It is as if we are taken for a roller coaster ride, thoughts come screaming out, we don’t bother how the writing would be received, we just write. Nothing else. Just write. And when we do that, nothing else matters.

Such is the power of words, that they dance to your tune and make you dance to their tune. When the chords sync, your heart is filled with joy.  I would say writing is an experience everyone must try at some level. Any level at which you are comfortable with. Be it a diary or a blog or a journal or a published book. Give it a try. Let your thoughts shape up. When you see the final picture, irrespective of how others think, there will be light in your heart.

Until later 🙂

Entering into marriage – Youth

May 19, 2013 / / 9 Comments

Read prequel here

Now that I have shot all my arrows at the parent sector, I realize I must do enough justice to the members of the current generation too [which includes me] 🙂 They are no less guilty when it comes to the marriage drama.

I see many people these days who are lost in confusion about what they want. This is not only for the marriage thing but in almost everything. But for the sake of not digressing, I am gonna talk only about confusions in the marriage phase. A lot of choices have come up now. It is no longer like how it was. No one is interested in nodding their heads to their parents’ choices and marry the girl/guy without even seeing their would-be partner’s face. Today everything is about understanding the other person better. All this is for good, I agree. However, I have seen many people who do not know what kind of person they are interested in or would be most compatible with. I am not saying you need a full character sketch ready before you start looking for prospects in an arranged marriage. I am just saying that doing a self-analysis and knowing yourself better would help you arrive at a conclusion about what kind of partner you would be interested in. Please do this little self-analysis and find out major factors which you would be looking for – the person’s character, place, family type, job, salary etc. Have a general idea about which you would want or not want.

Money plays big roles these days. The guy’s job and income attracts girls more than the guy’s character. The next important factor seems to be looks. Don’t start with the brickbats. I have seen such people. I am not demeaning your choices. Just that consider all the factors from all perspectives from a long run view. Impulsive decisions might be good now, but when looked back from ten years later you might sing a different tune. Life will make you do so.

The next turn off for girls is when a guy lives with his parents. I didn’t know that living with parents meant joint family these days. This is one thing I was proud of Indian culture but sadly that too is gone now. Yes, I agree you need your privacy when you are trying to settle in the new family. However, you cannot forget that they are the immediate family for you now. They have raised their son for years with selfless unconditional love. That might cause some parents to have insecure feelings due to which they might seem a little interfering to you. My question is why can’t you be the bigger person and not let these stuff affect you or the family? Won’t you do this for your parents? Nuclear family types are good too, but that is not the only choice. My opinion is I am sad that this is even becoming a hurdle factor when it comes to match-making.

As for the guy, I will just give one point which will convey everything. The girl you are marrying is leaving behind her own family and coming to an entirely new place and family, sometimes to a totally different culture depending on only one person – You! Have that in mind. If you cannot cut the girl a certain slack and stand by her until she is comfortable, then there is no point for you in getting married. This is true for both love and arranged marriage.  Please create a balance your parents and your wife smartly. Make her comfortable in your home. If you succeed in this one thing, you can lead a very happy life.

In the marriage process, your parents might give you loads of pressure as I mentioned in the earlier post. Dealing with it is horrible. You will feel you cannot compromise on your stand and at the same time you cannot leave your parents too. In spite of all this, take a moment to think what your parents go through. All the relatives would be pressing them and possibly even ridiculing them if you are taking too much time to decide. You might think what relatives think is none of our business. But our parents, who are from a different brought up and with a different mind-set will find it difficult to shrug such things off. They will have their own fears about your future too. They have done so much for you that they would not want to think of any failure in this crucial part of your life. Try to have a calm talk with them if you feel their pressure is suffocating you. Even if they are adamant, convey in a calm yet strong way that you cannot be forced into anything. Also, try to make them understand that you are taking your time only to make the right decision and not to just escape. Shouting at them or avoiding them is gonna cause more problems than ever. Parents won’t be able to take in that their son or daughter is talking back to them like that and other paranoid feelings will creep in.

If you are not ready for it, do a self-analysis and think what you want now before stepping into this serious phase of life. Have a sketch and explain your mindset to your parents. Do not make your parents a scapegoat because of your confused state. For people who are thinking in lines of passing off the marriage thing, I do not know what to say. It is your own choice, but given the current societal conditions you will find it really hard. So good luck in pulling it off and if you do pull it off, it means you have the most understanding parents ever and be grateful to them.

For people who are into love marriages, here is a special dose of experience. Please do not think of leaving your parents and marrying off on your own. However hard it is, please stick to your fact and stick to your parents too. Tell them clearly that you are not gonna marry anyone else than your heart’s choice. How much ever they push you, just make this clear and be calm. That’s it. It will be hard. Tears, accusations, threatens will follow. Deal with them on a case to case basis cleverly. But do not falter on your resolution to stay with your parents. They will relent in the end. They might do it reluctantly but that is better than the negative choice. With time, you can wash away the reluctance by showing them you were right, in action.

Parents have done a lot for you. A LOT! You cannot even begin to comprehend the limit of their care, affection, sacrifices, love in this lifetime. You can understand this only when you become a parent. We have to change our parents to become more open-minded. Agreed! We need to do it gradually since it is hard for them than for us. If you try to push them, it will scare them off. They will think you have gone beyond their reach and have changed for the worse. So please do not hurt them.

In the way of traditional marriage, there are a lot of customs which we find irritating and a waste of time. The elder generation will want to stick to it for a lot of reasons. Try not to shrug off everything. If something is very ridiculous and unreasonable, explain why you think so. Otherwise, if there is something which you can do with a minimal effort and can bring a big smile on their face, what is wrong in doing it? A change can be brought only gradually. If you just reject every tradition, your point is not gonna go across, instead you will go across as an arrogant disrespecting kid. For a change, try to insert small changes slowly. You will see that you are getting better results that way.

Though there are a lot more to say, I am stopping here because the post has become too long already. The bottom line is give parents the due respect which they deserve very much. They are the only people who will support you no matter what in this world. They will never ever turn their backs on you. So extend the same courtesy to them too. Whether the issue in concern is marriage or something else.

Until later 🙂

P.S: I know that I have risked brickbats, tomatoes and rotten eggs with this big gyaan session to parents and younger generation. 😛 I have just written based on my lessons and realizations. If you do not agree, it is your choice and that’s fine by me. These are my personal reflections.

Entering into Marriage – Parents

May 14, 2013 / / 19 Comments

A lot of happenings in my life and in lives around me has prompted me to write this 2 part post. Entering into Marriage – Youth will follow soon.

Disclaimer: Let me just make it clear before I start that I am not biased in favor of arranged or love marriage, nor in favor of parents or the youth when it comes to the issue of approaching marriage. I am a neutral person who believes this is a case-to-case basis and everything can be solved by a clear open-minded talk from all the people involved.

Selecting a guy/girl to share your life with has become a business. I am not sparing love or arranged marriage here. Both are competing equally in causing havoc and in spreading good.  When a girl turns 24 (the age here varies from 24 to 26 according to the families), the pressure to get married starts. Guys are cut a certain slack here in the age factor, but girls are not spared. I am not blaming the parents for wanting to finish their duties and to give their daughter a happy life. I am just saying please check if she is mentally ready for entering into marriage. This is not just some duty that needs to be checked off in the to-do list. This is your daughter’s life. If you make her enter into something that she is not ready for, there is a good chance when she might think it is all too much for her to take and take rash decisions which would make you and the entire family regret.

The next pressure is on the couple to have kids before the girl turns 28-30 (again I am giving an age range). You say that’s how it is meant to be and the girl’s body takes the pregnancy pressure well during that time. Fine point! Agreed! But there is something called mental readiness added to the readiness of the woman’s body to take up the toil of pregnancy. If she is not ready to have a baby, pressurizing her is just gonna ruin the family’s life. The same goes for the guy. He might have some plans to get settled and have some savings before a baby comes along. It is not fair to force him to give you a grandchild when he is insecure. It might just ruin his confidence that he can lead a family well and he might feel out of place with his own baby.

You can argue saying that I got married at this age and had kids at this age and I am still living happily. But you have to accept the fact that times have changed. You were brought up to listen to your parents and marry whomever they show without a second thought and live forever with that person even if you think they are not the right person for you. But we are not like that. In the process of having more exposure, earning more, achieving more than it was possible back then, this self-thinking, independent nature also kicked in. Nothing can be done about that. It comes as a package. If you try to customize it, you will end up ruining the relationship with your child. Please do not see this as rebellious nature. Rebellious nature comes in only when there is no one to listen to us patiently. If you show that you are all for an open discussion, your child will not put up a rebellion. Instead he/she will be grateful to have such understanding parents.

In arranged marriages, before showing photos of prospective guys and girls to your daughters and sons respectively, there is one thing you need to do. Have a face to face talk with your son/daughter and find how ready he/she is in selecting a life partner. Try to check if he/she is clear in his/her expectations from a life partner. Give them some insights about adjustments and compromises for the greater good of the family, taking up responsibilities in the personal front and the like. Because facing the brutal world everyday in their jobs and being away from home for the sake of earning, people these days have learnt how not to compromise and ingrained with a fact that if they did, they will end up as losers. Also, in the process of concentrating on career and money making, they would have given into recklessness when it comes to personal lifestyle. However, the same concept will not apply when it comes to a family. It is not like they will not compromise but they need to be reminded of what it takes to live a married life. That too with some person whom they recently got to know about. Responsibilities of having to look after another person will seem scary. This talk would assure your daughter or son that marriage is not a scary phase but instead a lovable responsible phase of life.

As for love marriages, before rejecting blindly please consider the option. It is not as bad as you think. I am not talking about the illusion of infatuation ending in marriages or those who lack confidence on their parents and elope. I am talking about the people who are mature enough and have found someone they really like to spend their lives with and would like their parents to consider their choice. So before damning all the people who are in love as people blinded by infatuation and on the path to a huge failure, consider the prospect for a moment. If the person chosen by your son/daughter is a good choice, will he/she look after your son/daughter well – get to know him/her. Try to understand why your son/daughter chose this person. Think of the situation as thought you are selecting a prospective guy/girl for your son/daughter. If that’s the case, you will give an unbiased analysis right? Why not give the same treatment? All we are saying is if some unknown girl you suddenly bring into your son’s life can take care of him well, there is a better chance that this known girl whom your son wants will put her before him to take a bullet. Please do not bring controversies like caste, community, status and what others will think into picture here. If your son/daughter don’t believe in these stuff, they are gonna outright reject your opinions about this. All you want in life is your child to be happy right? Why should you let it be blotted by such blind beliefs? If a girl of your son’s choice will make him the most happy (Again I am talking about mature good choices), what reason do you have to deny it? Isn’t it the same as you want for him?

All I am saying here is respect your child’s choices. Don’t blindly accept or blindly reject. Present your valid reasons in any case. Ask your son/daughter to present their case. Have an open reasonable talk and I can assure that there will be no issues. Let marriage be the best gift you give to your child, not something you force upon him/her.

For all those people who are wondering who am I to give this gyaan and that I am too young to advise you, here are 2 pointers:

1. This is my opinion and despite my young age, I am a person too. I have opinions too. I might be right or wrong but these are *my* opinions and I have a right to express them.

2. I am not stopping here with writing gyaan post addressed to parents. The youths of this age do a lot of mistakes in approaching this whole marriage pressure, selecting partners of their own choice, convincing their parents that they made a good informed choice and end up hurting their parents. Parents are the most important people for anyone in the world. So I will write a sequel addressed to my peers. So please patiently wait until I put up the sequel post and then rant out. 🙂

Until later 🙂

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