I think, therefore I write

Category: POETRY (Page 1 of 7)

A parent’s anguish

My almost-3-yr-old has been extremely cooperative and understanding of the situation considering her age, what with us being holed indoors. I try to be positive but as days turned into months which could now turn into years, there are times when worry eats me. The worry is mostly for my family, with an at risk husband and a toddler whose life seems to have been turned upside down. She does not know it but I do. And on bad days, the knowledge of what should have been and the memories of what were, breaks my heart.

My heart breaks into countless pieces,
When I see you holed inside these 4 walls,
You are peeping out the window,
Achingly looking at the playground,
That was your second home until a few months ago.
You don’t understand what changed and why,
All you know is that there is something out there,
Some call it corona, some call it the virus,
You get that it is something scary,
Something you don’t want to catch,
And that’s why you can’t go out.
Even the few occasions you stepped out for a walk,
With your Amma and Appa, you wore a mask,
You wore it with enthusiasm, the new cool thing for you,
You thought you were part of a grown up ritual and exulted,
Little did you know of my anguish at that sight,
Of you having to wear a mask to stay healthy and probably to stay alive.
At your age, you hardly remember a world before and after,
For you, what you see is what you get.
Hold on tight, my baby, for hope is the only thing keeping us going,
Hold on tight, to us, your parents who seem to be the world for you now,
To the vague memories of going out to that restaurant or mall,
To those memories of your birthday celebrations that just escaped the clutches of this pandemic,
To those dreams of going to your first school and playing with new friends,
Just hold on tight, let’s hope, this too shall pass.
Just so that I don’t break,
Let me believe in miracles, and
That the world will be yours again to explore.

Until later 🙁

A worthless gift

Something I wrote in a bleh state of mind, thinking about children of today who are to be the keepers of this world tomorrow.

Oh my precious little one, my hope was still bright
When you stepped into this world
Today, I am not so sure if I was right.

The world I gave you doesn’t seem so ideal
Most days, it does not show any promise of getting better
Nor does it promise you anything that’s real

The rational part of me says, this is not your battle to fight,
Do what you can to your best and teach as much
But I cringe, wondering if you even got your birthright.

Clear air, water and a place to live is all you need
Even those are hard to come by and,
Nature’s already looking for ways to trim the weed.

I really hope you get a chance to
Love what you have, and
Live how you want,
Cherish your life as you rest.

But hope is all I got,
For I am also one part of all this havoc,
Nothing else can I say except that I am sorry,
For giving you the world in this state.

Until later 🙁

Drunk

Out of all the ways to get drunk, 
I chose to get drunk on you
And your memories

I do admit, it's an incredible way
To get high, high on the emotions
And the way you made me feel

I laughed right in the face of closure
And didn't even bother moving on
Surprisingly, no regrets there

I liked the trance, the trance of feeling
How I wanted to feel, how it felt to feel
The desire, going wild with no reigns

 Even now, it's like age old wine
 All it takes is a tiny sip
 To get intoxicated once again

Until later 🙂

Broken promises

Your words lie scattered around me
In my dreams, in reality, on paper and in my memories
I keep asking myself, was any of them true?
Even for that one instant when they escaped your lips
This hurt tells me a story, one that oozes with my trust
And its broken heart, and of course, your broken promises.

Your mirages surround me all day
Morning, noon and night, when I am asleep and awake
I don’t expect any respite from your ghosting
It’s all my own making, I know that very well
This pain tells me a story, one that drips with my love
And its broken wings, and of course, your broken promises.

Your memoirs fill my room, nook and corner
Without the heart to throw them out,
And without the heart to look at them either
I shut my eyes and think of the world as a dark tunnel
This blind sight tells me a story, one that stinks of my denial
And its persistence, and of course, your broken promises.

Your fragrance is still on my bed sheets,
Reminding me of the warmth and cosiness,
Illusions I know, but comforting ones nevertheless
I curl a bit more inside them, hoping it would all come back
This smell tells me a story, one that screams of my hope
And its vanity, and of course, your broken promises.

All those broken promises, swirl around me
As broken shards of glass turning my world into dust
I only wish when this storm clears, it clears away all of you
All of you, your memories and of course, your broken promises
Because I do not want to surrender, you know
Not to your broken promises!

Being broken is not a crime, Staying that way is!

Do you agree? How do you like this post?

Until later 🙂

Image Source: pexels.com

Face your fears

Fear has two meanings – Forget everything and run, Face everything and rise. The choice is yours. ~ Zig Ziglar

Too tired to defend me from myself
For once, let me tell the truth as it be
Here it comes, brace thyself
Am afraid that life will take you away from me.

Everyone has this, you say?
That does not make it any different
Willing me to sway?
I try hard everyday but mostly I am spent.

But again, here I am telling out the truth bitter
It’s hard, this acceptance of my fear
Though, it does make me feel a bit better
Hope inner peace is a bit near.

Nobody’s escaping this life
Neither me, nor you
We might as well live with a high five
And let life stew.

Want it or not
Everyone has their own story written out
Like it or not
No use,to cry or to pout

True that, let me face my fear
For all I care, let worry take a hike
Not a word from it, I will hear
May happiness and hope spike.

Until later 🙂

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