Ripples of my Reflections

I think, therefore I write

Tag: Life lessons (Page 12 of 14)

The st(r)ained mind

January 25, 2012 / / 10 Comments

P.S: I am in a very bleh phase now and hence I apologize in advance for a crappy abstract post. But do go ahead and read it. 😉

There is not a soul around. None to share. None to laugh with. The only sound that reverberates in the solitary room is the sound of the fan going round and round, doing its boring job and keeping to itself. Somehow the memories have faded away. The people have drifted apart. The few who stayed are too busy to bother. I have always needed time with myself but now I doubt if there is too much time with myself and myself alone.

Everything seems bitter and then I console myself with shallow words. Episodes and episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S seem to be the only comfort and the much-needed distraction. Sleep comes and goes irrespective of time, as it pleases but it does not do its job. Meaningless dreams fill my sleep, me tossing and turning, doing anything but resting. The light is always on for the fear of getting lost in the dark loneliness otherwise. The idiot box stays on for most of the time though there is none to watch it. The people inside it seem to be more of a companion than the real ones. But being the virtual ones that they are, they stay for a while and then move on to mind their affairs. It seems like I have retracted myself in an innermost circle where none is there. The occasional visitors to the circle don’t seem to be doing a good job in providing me company.

I read, read and then read some more. Getting lost in a different world, as if somehow that will help me forget the world I am actually in. Sometimes I think that I am pathetic and sometimes I think I am recuperating. Sometimes I think the situation is hopeless but I know the hope has not yet died and that it never will. I know this will take some more time to pass on. I also know that I will survive one way or the other, because I am a survivor. Have always been one. I will have my highs and lows. I will even hit rock bottom. But I will never fail to try to get up from rock bottom and swim up.

The mist will lift. The light will come. Until then, I am not going to give up. I will have my share of things that will give my life a better turn. I just have to wait away the time.

Until later 🙂

P.S: I am off to home. Yay! Will be back in a week to stalk your blogs. Until then, please remember me, will ya?

My encouter with the inevitable

January 4, 2012 / / 10 Comments

I stood there, lost in the awesomeness of the sunset. I had retreated to my favorite spot on the terrace to sulk over the endless problems that seem to find their way to me effortlessly. Why has 2011 been a year that I cannot understand? Why did it seem that the year has taught me a lot yet I am glad that it ended? Why do the familiar rays of hope arise when I think of 2012, when nothing has changed? I am still waiting for things to fall into place, holding my breath and pretending that life will pass on and one fine morning, everything will be like I wanted it to be. But, why does the hope arise in my heart from time to time? I thought of curbing the hope that arises and creates disappointment when the hope does not turn into reality. I decided not to believe in a tomorrow. If it comes, that’s good! Else, I will at least be spared of the disappointment. After all, hope didn’t seem to be a good decision to my problems. And with that decision, I continued to stare at the sunset.

Image Courtesy: http://scienceblogs.com

The setting sun glowed under the dark covers of clouds and I couldn’t help but stare at it. It hurt my eyes to keep staring like that and my eyes watered, but I didn’t move my eyes from the scene. It was too beautiful. Slowly as the sun set fully, I was engulfed in the darkness around me and once again my mind started searching for answers, with undivided concentration. From where I stood, people on the roads below seemed like scurrying ants and the sight made me wonder how busy the city is even after dusk. Moms hurrying to their homes to make the dinner in time for their families, Dads hurrying to their awaiting families so that they can spend more time with their kids, Children hurrying back home after school in the hope of getting some play time, Auto-drivers dashing to and fro to earn enough wages for their next day’s life, Street-vendors looking for some last-minute business before they close their shops and head home and so on. What enables them to go through the tiring routine throughout the day and look forward to another day? What makes them believe in a better tomorrow?

Suddenly a blazing light flashed across and I looked up at the sky. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I watched in awe as the scene unfolded. A bob of light that started at a point started growing bigger and bigger until its radiance was so strong that I could no longer decide where it started and where it ended. From the very centre of the radiance, a figure slowly walked towards me and as it came nearer I found that it was none but me. But I am here on the terrace! How can I be in two places at the same time? The glowing me smiled and said “You can be anywhere you want to be”. “Hey! Wait a minute. You can read my thoughts?” was my shocked reply and “Can’t I? After all I am you.” was the smug reply.

Me: So you are saying that this is happening inside my head?

Glowing-me: Only if you want it to be.

Me: What the hell? Too much Harry Potter and this is the aftermath of it.

(Glowing-me smirks)

Me: What are you smirking at?

Glowing-me: I am astonished by how naïve you are. You can believe a book which spins stories about people flying on brooms, and carrying sticks around cursing others, splitting your soul into 7 and keeping it in 7 places, you secretly hope that there is a Hogwarts and you will get your letter soon, but you cannot believe in yourself.

Me: (Taking offense) Hey! Who told you that I do not believe in myself?

Glowing-me: Stop trying to be defensive. Who do you think I am? I am you. If you do not believe in me, then you don’t believe in yourself.

Me: Arggh! This is all so confusing. What do you want? Why did you come?

Glowing-me: I came because you called me.

Me: What??? When did I ever call you?This is getting weirder by the passing second. Can you please stop being so annoying and tell me who you are and why you came?

Glowing-me: Since you are too dumb to realize that we both are the same and that you indeed called me, let me explain. I am you and I came to make you realize that you just took the stupidest decision of your life.

Me: That’s outrageous. What decision? How dare you appear out of nowhere and call my decisions stupid?

Glowing-me: Didn’t you just take the stupidest decision of your life that you will curb the hope that arises everyday, to prevent disappointments? Didn’t you just decide to stop believing in a tomorrow? Didn’t you just decide to live in a no-man’s space until things fall into place by themselves?

Me: Huh! Yeah I did, but how can you say that they are stupid? I have my own justifications and reasons.

Glowing-me: You answered this question too, a few minutes back. Didn’t you wonder how all those people believe in a tomorrow and doing their routine? Didn’t you just think how they manage to look forward to another day in spite of a crappy day?

Me: (This is getting scary.. I better be careful in my replies) Yee..aa..h! I did. So what?

Glowing-me: Put things together, you dumb-head! They fit. Hope is the only thing that keeps us alive. Without hope, you are as good as dead. If you so not believe in a tomorrow, why should you live? You can as well jump off this roof and die. Why do you think that old man in that corner of the road still returns to the same spot every day? It is in the hope that someone would be kind enough to give alms to him the next day and he might be able to make a meal out of it. Why do you think that woman over there opens her snack shop every day, leaving her sick child at home? It is in the hope that the next day, business would be better and she would be able to make enough money to buy medicines for her child. Do you think you have the biggest problem of all? Do you think your life sucks the most? If you do, you are the dumbest person ever born. Why do you think you still manage to go through a very draining day and yet manage to cheer up the next day? Because deep down, you have that hope the next day will be better and might bring some good news that you want to hear. And if you decide to curb that hope and stop believing in a tomorrow, then I would say, kill yourself now. There is no place for people without hope in the living world.

Thus Having blasted me, the glowing figure of mine turned around and started walking back towards the center of the radiating circle. I stood as a rock, too shocked even to move. Was she right? Am I being stupid to stop believing just because a few things happened which I didn’t want to and a few things I wanted to happen didn’t happen. I looked up and saw the glowing figure slowly starting to disappear. I called out frantically, “Hey! Are you really me? Is this happening inside my head?” I heard a voice coming out from the receding glow “Only if you want it to be”. I stood there for a very long time. Not moving. The truth dawned on me like a glorious sunrise and I knew. The truth was bitter but I knew that I had been wrong in my decisions. After what seemed like thousands of years, I found my peace with the truth. I decided to believe. I decided to keep the hope burning in me. It felt right.  I yelled out into the space “Hey! I am sorry to have been a fool before. I believe now!” I got no answer, but I was pretty sure that I heard a smile within myself.

This post is a result of me trying to find my inner peace. Around the end of 2011, I had become upset even for the smallest of things going wrong. I was continuously restless, thinking if it was even worth living. 2011 had taught a lot to me, but still somehow the things I want to happen more than my life, never seemed to be happening. That had made me feel all lost, depressed, confused and mourning at the year-end. Then again, I found my peace in 2012’s birth. With 2012, the hope I almost killed was re-born. Things have not yet fallen into place, but maybe this year, everything will become fine. Maybe. Maybe not. But that will not stop me from hoping or believing. Without hope, we are nothing. Believe in a tomorrow. Have a blast out of 2012!

Image Courtesy: wikimedia.org

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Now, definitely too much Harry Potter! 😛 Right?

Until later 🙂

The woes of a share-auto traveller

December 26, 2011 / / 17 Comments

Hey people,

Hope you had a merry Christmas and wishing you a Happy New Year in advance 🙂 Everyone is in the holiday mood and blogging seems to be downstream except for a few posts here and there. Anyway nothing has changed in my life. If you wanna know what exactly is happening in my life, I can tell you – “When you expect something to happen, it seems like your life is on a pause button and time is taking its own time to give you what you want. But, when you love doing something, time just spins on its wheels” That’s exactly what’s happening to me. My life seems to be in pause mode.

Enough digression! Being in Hyderabad for the past year and having used share-autos for commuting to office daily, I have come to observe and learn the tactics needed to travel in a share-auto, which by the way is a more popular mode of commute than the local buses themselves. So here are some interesting almost life-changing things that might happen to you if you travel regularly by share-auto.

By share-auto, I do not mean the big ones which can accommodate 8 people. It is just the normal auto used as a circus show-off carrying more than it can. The share-auto drivers are self-assumed kings of the world and will have fixed destinations. They will run their auto to and from their destinations without a single passenger but will not think of changing their route to another one even if there are mobs of people waiting for a transport in a different route. Once you spot a share-auto, yell out the place where you wish to go to. If he finds you right, he is likely to stop the racing auto 10 feet forward from where you stand and look back, else he will just speed off.

Next, they have fixed rates. Either accept and get in or it is just get out. You cannot tell him that just the day before you paid 10 bucks and it is unfair that he is charging 20 bucks today. This rule applies especially when the never-ending recurring T-strike is on.

Suppose that it is your lucky day and you get a share-auto within few minutes of wait, make sure to hop in as quickly as possible, else you will find yourself face-down on the road, for the drivers will have an estimated instinctive time-limit before they start the auto. They won’t look back to make sure that you got in, if that’s what you were expecting. And if you are waiting for a share-auto and so are 10 others, prepare yourself to be a street rat and fight your way. If you prefer to be the docile type, call up your manager and apply for leave and go home.

Once you are inside the share-auto, hang on to the side bars for your dear life. The auto will race light and win the race! It will slide through all gaps available rocking back and forth, with its passengers juggled mercilessly. You will actually feel that you can fly. Women folks, be wise and choose the corner seat if there are guys in the back seat. Use one hand to hang on to the auto and one hand to defend yourself, else pervey perversons will show what they are capable of. This sad thing still happens.

And guys, you are cursed for life to be hanging only from the front seat along with the driver. Even if you come first and wait in the share-auto for an hour, you won’t get a reasonable seat to place yourself on if there are more than 2 girl-travelers. Be it pouring rain or scorching heat, you have to just accept it. Sometimes 4 guys including the driver will sit in the front and 3 passengers behind happen. Though I can’t say if the driver is really sitting and driving the auto, in such cases. He might as well be pressing random levers at the end of his foot and driving the auto by instinct. But, if you want to reach office on time wading through layers of traffic, you cannot put your mind through all that.

Image Courtesy: http://www.shatabdigaurav.com

And when you want the driver to stop at a place, yell “stop” 10 feet before the place actually comes to save on the walking time. And one universal rule, if you are in a real hurry for a meeting, just hire a direct auto and go. Else, you will have to wait in the auto until it fills up and overflows with people and by the time you reach, you will definitely be late.

Even with all this, you need a lot of luck for reaching your place safely without your heart popping out of your mouth. So, take care and good luck!

Until later 🙂

Be (un)comfortable

November 13, 2011 / / 4 Comments

Hello all 🙂

How has life been for you? It has just been fine. Have been digging others’ blogs. Got a few honors bestowed upon me. 🙂 🙂

The first,

Pradeeta, better known as Mystical Skeptical Me gave me a special place in her colorful star-set and am so happy about it. Also, I am happy that she bestowed me with Aubergine Purple. After all, purple has taken over the post of my favorite color, after successfully pushing royal black to the runner-up place. Describing me in a way I had never seen myself, she touched my heart and made me go bonkers with happiness over the next few hours. The way she wrote out the accolades for all of her favorite writers was simply mind-blowing.  If you are not following her already, please go over and do.

Next,

Did a guest post on Adhi’s blog. Just a little story that I wrote and he found it good enough to let me post it on his blog. The story means lot to us both as it is half-true and half-fiction. It touches our lives so deep that none can ever fathom how deep. So, I just posted it, just like that and just for us. Do head over and read, if you feel like. The post is here: Ghosts from her past. Also, let me know your thoughts. There is no great feeling than knowing that someone loves your writing. 🙂

Next,

The guy who is the god of humor, Kalpak, asking me to do a paragraph for the guest(s) post @ his blog. I have to think really hard and come up with something that will be good enough to match the noises of his empty vessel.

Now, coming back to the post, I warn you. It is an advice kind of post but I decided to go ahead and post it because I found it good enough when I followed it and hence thought I would share the same with you people too.

We all live our lives inside a circle. A comfortable circle drawn by us. We never come out of the comfort zone. Very rarely do we break the usual routine of lazy Sundays, sleeping for almost half of the day, eating only the food that we love, doing stuff that we love. Never out of the box. As I was living that kind of routine life, my guy gave me an idea for a change. The idea was get out of the comfy zone and do something for a change. How ever small the thing might be. It might be a different outfit than the usual, a walk home from office though if it is a bit more of work to your legs than you usually give, trying some food that you have shunned long ago due to some reason, getting up early for a change and again if you are an early sleeper, taking a night out from sleep.. Anything! Literally anything you might try. It really feels good once you do it. Gives you a vibe. A breather. Whatever you call it.

I tried to pick this idea up and do one thing that I would normally not feel comfortable doing it, a day. However, due to a lot of reasons, I could not stick to one thing a day. So I just picked out ideas from my mind and started doing it whenever I can and I tell you. It feels good. It makes me get out of the bored shell that I sometimes go into. Makes me love life more. Makes me look forward to every new day. A list of few things that I tried out are (Just to give you an idea and of course, to flaunt what I have done :P)

~ It has always been a “NO” to drinking as much water as human body needs, in my case. I do not drink water more than a glass or 2 at one go, because I hate the gurgly feeling that it gives and I feel like I am having a Tsunami inside my tummy. But then, I decided to give it a go and drank 1 litre/hr for all the awake hours in a day.

~ I walked home from office the entire distance, though I knew that it would take a tough front with the flat feet I have.

~ I joined Aerobics class. This I did for the greater good that it would do to me. I have never been a fit girl in my entire life. A little bit of exerting and you will see me panting my lungs out . This can also attribute to the hostel food, where I don’t get to eat nourishing food. But I wanted to do my bit and hence aerobics. I was afraid that I would make a fool of myself because I have never been good at mind-body co-ordination, yet I did not let my mind think and just enrolled into the class. And now, I am glad that I did.

~ I woke up really early one morning.

~ Took up initiative of certain things at office, which I would not normally.

and so on. However trivial it might be, I found the change a warm welcome. Planning to do a few more things.

So, if you think you need a change, do not hesitate to try something. Trust yourself and do it.

Until later 🙂

P.S: I love PeeVee’s P.S’s. 🙂 Head over to her blog and read them and her posts too 🙂

« Older posts Newer posts »

No plagiarism, please!

Please link back when you refer/use any media/content that I own, in your website. Let’s not encourage plagiarism, there’s enough trouble in the world as it is.

© 2025 Ripples of my Reflections

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑