Ripples of my Reflections

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Tag: Love (Page 10 of 12)

Master of the game

June 30, 2014 / / 11 Comments

quotes-bestrevengeonliarVarsh was ecstatic. He didn’t think she would be such a fool to fall the second time too. He had admittedly been scared as he pressed the dial key for Sahana’s number. But it turns out she was still the emotional fool he knew her to be. As he got ready for the party he so looked forward to, his thoughts reeled back.

He was never much of a looker but he was always the one who ended up charming women more than the other handsome guys. He was proud of that special talent of his. That which let him be casual and coolly distant which made women look back at him a second time. Once that happened, the rest was always easy. He would be the detached one, casually pitching in when he feels the ball might not be rolling in his direction. And always at the end, women seemed to take him for the true love they were searching for. Always! He had never failed once in his tactics, for he chose his victims carefully. He had met Sahana while doing his under-graduation. She was not the one who interested him initially. However, there was an air around her that intrigued him. He felt she was too bold and confident for a woman. He liked women being the timid ones, never daring. But Sahana was not the one to be tamed. She was raring to go in anything that came her way. Outspoken and strong in her words and clear in her actions, she stood out. And this made him decide that he would break her. Just like that. For fun.

He started with his usual tactics. It was hard because she didn’t give in that easily. But he stayed patient, after all he was trying to tame a lioness. There were times where he wanted to give up as he felt it was too much of an effort to do this. But this was his pastime and thought this woman would be the test to measure his capabilities in charming women. Call it luck on his side or emotional imbalance on her side, she did take his bait eventually. He saw it coming after a year of effort and stuck with it. It happened, she took him to be the one and relaxed her personality strength for him. She truly thought he was in love with her and reciprocated. He celebrated that he won the game. As usual all it took Varsh was a few days to get bored with Sahana and he ended it so that he can move on to a different game, a different prey. He knew that Sahana would be beyond words, she had never thought that there would be a person whom she would misjudge. That too to her own cost. It shattered her confidence, her inner strength, her heart, her emotions. He didn’t care. He had won and that’s all there’s to it.

He had forgotten all about her until a couple months back, he had chanced upon her Facebook profile and his jaw dropped. She was drop-dead gorgeous in her profile pic that he couldn’t take his eyes off her for minutes together. She was posing seated on the windowsill, with the window open. Her smile reached her eyes which displayed the strength that he saw before. Only that it seemed stronger now. But he thought he had broken that, exactly that which made her so intriguing and special. As he took in her pic, he thought maybe it was time for a second round of the old game. Although, this time he thought maybe let me stick it out. She looked awesome and was successful from what he gathered on the page. What more was he going to look in a wife when he decided to settle? If she is capable of bringing herself up after he, the charmer, had broken her to pieces,she sure was something. None of the other girls he left shattered had managed to do it.

He carefully charted out a plan to meet her under the pretense of a get-together party for the whole class. He took on the responsibility of calling up people and asking their time and venue preferences. He was literally shivering with an adrenaline rush when he dialed her number. She was cool throughout the call. She didn’t show any sign of the past as she replied that she was willing to attend the get-together. He realized he had to play more carefully that time. His inner self had decided that he could just win it all this time,by being the true love she once believed him to be. After all, that’s what she had wanted and that’s what he would give this time. So why would she refuse?

One month to go for the party, he called her more often under the pretense of needing some or the other help with organizing the party. To his surprise, she didn’t back off. In a few days, he felt it was like the old days. He thought he would clinch it by proposing with a diamond ring at the party. He spent all of his savings on the ring, carefully choosing the one she couldn’t, wouldn’t say no to. Of course, he would test the waters once more at the party before proposing. He could never fail with women, they were his area of expertise. He had built his entire way of life around women. His friends whom he had let in on the secret warned him,she would not be so easy the second time. He laughed at them and said, “I know her, okay? ”

The clock chimed and brought him back to the moment. He had arrived early and planned the evening. He was leaning casually on the bar with a drink in his hand. He knew he was too nervous to have a drink but he just held it so that he’d have something to hold to. In the past month, she had become an obsession. He stalked her Facebook profile, texted or called her every day with some reason. The battle between his heart and mind had raged fiercely all the while. He had finally decided to wing it, he just wanted to win the game once more. He would propose now and would decide whether to make it a permanent settlement or yet another hobby as it goes. He saw her as she entered, in a flowing cream colored sari with a green border decorated with stones. She didn’t wear any makeup. Yet it complimented her in so many ways that his mind couldn’t even process. As he had expected, she was even more beautiful in person. Throughout the party, he took care to keep her attention fixed on him. With great difficulty, he pretended to remain cool and charming, the old technique. And to his delight, she bought it.

As the party drew to an end, he thought that it’s time for action. His mind was telling him, it would be more fun to just make another game out of her and his heart was telling to just finish it with this glorious win. He shushed both and got down on his knee. He was determined to wing it until he figured out which game enthralled him more, the one where he could tame her forever or the one that lets him make a fool out of her the second time. He held the ring in one hand, his eyes silently beseeching her. Her eyes welled up and she smiled. As the onlookers gasped, he grinned his secret smile at his friends who looked disbelieving. As he took out the ring to place it on her finger, he felt the hard slap on his face shake the ground. He looked up and there she stood, like the lioness she was and is. He would never forget the last words he ever heard from her as she turned and left, “Sometimes all it takes to win a game is to play along.”

revengeThe next day, he vanished. Nobody ever heard of him for the rest of their lives. As for Sahana, she didn’t care. She had never cared since that day. The day she returned to being back to who she was, the lioness. After she had picked herself up. She knew that time will heal and she let time to do just that. But when he came back, the day he first called brought her first dilemma. Whether to end it on her own terms or to back off silently letting karma take its path. She chose the former. She never sought revenge on her own. She had buried her mistake and moved on. However when revenge came seeking itself, she didn’t want to miss out the show which didn’t take much effort too. She owed it to herself, to the Leo in her.

Until later 🙂

P.S: Sahana’s character is inspired by Soumya @ LOL:Life of Leo and myself. Sahana is kind of a combination of the common personalities I perceive in both of us. The entire piece is inspired by her poetry Master of the game

Love Dazzles

June 28, 2014 / / 24 Comments
dazzlesImage source: patinastores.com

He had painstakingly carved out every stone of that jewel box, all the while thinking of her.

It sat there before her dazzling but all she had to offer was a blank look.

Pain, sharp as a dagger, pierced his heart as he saw her turn her gaze away from which she couldn’t take her eyes off once.

He was sure that she would have been dazzled.

If only she remembered him and his love now.

This five sentence fiction is written for the topic ‘Dazzles‘ at Lillie McFerrin Writes.

Until later 🙂

The shaved head – Where it all started

June 26, 2014 / / 22 Comments

Grade: LKG

My parents had my head shaved as an offering to some God, without any consideration of how I would feel about going to school with no hair on my head. I dreaded the teasing I would have to endure from other kids. My mom convinced me that there would be other kids too who’d have shaved heads over the summer vacation. With that small consolation, I entered the class and stared around. In the vast number of heads bobbing up and down, as kids screamed, fell down, laughed, stared pointlessly, pulled each others’ hair, ate chalk and so on, mine was the only shaved head. I made a note in my mind to bawl at mom the moment she came to pick me up from school. And I also made a note to thrash any kid who’s tease me for the lack of hair on my head. Minutes passed, I was sitting in a corner munching my snacks in the break time. Then I don’t remember how it happened or why (maybe I refused to share my snacks), a boy kid laughed at me and called me ‘mottai’ which means ‘shaved head’ in my native language. I was furious but turns out I was not much of a macho back then. So instead of entering into a fist fight with him, I dutifully went and reported to my class teacher about it, adding a few more tears than necessary. After witnessing the scolding and thumps he got, I resumed munching my snacks with satisfaction.

Grade: UKG

Over time, the above incident was forgiven and I had become friends with him. I don’t remember how but after all I was 4 yrs old and all it took to win me back then was sharing a snack or a chalk. So how I reconciled with him doesn’t matter. We both sat next to each other and I would chatter all day while this kid listened to me patiently. This continued and my class teacher started keeping a keen eye on me as I kept talking, in class, out of class, during class and any minute I was with him. Turns out she was waiting for a chance to meet my mum and complain about this incessant talking and soon enough, the opportunity presented itself. I had scraped my knee big time while playing and mom took me to the doctor before school. It got late and hence mom dropped me till class to request the teacher to excuse me and my bandaged leg. Once I saw this kid sitting next to a vacant seat, expecting me, all my tears vanished. I wanted to run straight to him and tell about the story of my bandaged leg. And so I did, without even collecting my bag and lunch from mom, and started my show while he looked on. Meanwhile, my teacher lost no time in complaining that this is exactly what she was talking about.

Grade: 1

During the awarding ceremony at the end of each year for the toppers, I was sitting next to the same kid. We were sharing the first proficiency prize. My mom had decked my hair with jasmine flowers which have those gorgeous red velvet-like flowers in between. We were bored to the core with all the chief guests talking on and on before giving away the prizes. So I suggested to my now best friend that he could pluck the red flowers one by one and we could play with it. So we did for another 10 mins, without any concern about the onlookers. By the time I went on stage, there were only jasmines drooping sadly from my hair.

Grade: 2

We both has become so close that we formed a kind of rowdy gang and started dominating others. I don’t remember what this was all about but remember wanting to be with this kid even as a sidekick. Of course being in 2nd grade, we wouldn’t have been much action than talk. Anyway the news reached the teacher which again resulted in a complaint session and twisted ears this time for me. He was spared because he was the good boy, topper always and she believed it was my influence that’s getting him into trouble.

Grade: 3-10

We became the best of friends. I’d do anything for him. Of course there were a lot of fights but it was always forgiven and forgotten. I looked up to him in anything I did. He was the competitor for me whom I tried very hard to beat but could never. As a joke over a fight, he set me lines once. He said I had to write a set of useless lines over and over again until my diary was full of it. You wouldn’t believe me, but I did it. It was because of him I passed my physics board exam, it took him one hour and endless patience to make me understand how the current could flow in opposite direction of the coil. Yet, he did it. He dragged me along with him for all the competitions he participated in. We won quite a few prizes, though the credit for most of them went to him.

Now:

A lot of things happened after grade 10 that turned our lives topsy-turvy. We went to different schools, then different colleges. A lot happened in our lives separately and together. But all that is there to tell you now, to complete the tale, is that I cannot believe that I am married to that boy kid who teased me for my shaved head in my kindergarten. Even more, I cannot believe that is the first meeting I remember of us. When people ask how we met for the first time, I think of it and burst out laughing. There were no romantic looks across the bar in our story, there was no tingling touching of hands, there was no looking into each others’ eyes. All we had was a shaved head, and boy did we make a story out of it!

pic

When I think back, I realize the enormity of knowing someone for 22 years when your age is 25. Heck, you only know your family before you’re 3 and you don’t remember anything of it. So as far my memory stretches back, he is there. People ask us, don’t you get bored? Nope, after all these years, we still have many firsts and no lasts.

Until later 🙂

P.S: To my amusement, he kept denying his involvement in the naughty incidents I have written about. He keeps denying still and will do so forever. He says he was such a good kid and would never tease another kid like that. And I say – Heck, you were 3. At that age, what would any kid know about being nice 😛

P.P.S: He is still a kid, in so many ways. I can see the shade of that kindergarten personality many a time, now that I am living with him. 🙂

I know!

September 16, 2013 / / 2 Comments

Sometimes the answer is right in front of your eyes. But you don’t see it. Maybe because you cannot or maybe because you don’t want to or maybe because it is not the easy choice. However when you do see it, it shines brightly in your face. You feel like you have known all along that it is the only path you would have to go. That it is the only choice you would make even if it is the most difficult thing in the world. You might have been blinded by the dilemma of doing the easy thing or doing the right thing, for in life, most often than not the easy thing and the right thing are not the same.

Despite all this, the right thing you have to do will eventually come to you and you will slowly accept the fact that even though it is the most difficult decision you have to make in your life, even though it posed a threat that everything would fall apart except that one thing which is your life,  you will have to take it because that’s what you would want yourself to do when you look back. None of the other troubles would matter. Only this decision. If you decide this right, you will die without regrets even if you didn’t have anything else in the world.

My friend casually said “Your world cannot be torn apart unless it is from the inside”. It struck me like a lightning. It made me see what I never saw despite so many explicit advices and suggestions. And I know if the sides were reversed, I would be bestowed with the right decision and not the easy decision. I know I would be cherished. I know I would be protected like a child in a mother’s womb if I were on the other side of the coin. So I know what to do now. I know I have to choose the right path even if it is laid with thorns and stones. I know I would want myself to have my heart in place even if every other part of my body is bruised in the journey. There is no use having everything intact and a broken heart.

Nothing else matters when you know what you want. That one thing is the quintessence of your life. Everything else takes a back seat. I am glad I got that clarity. It’s gonna be a hard ride but I am all geared up. I know, now!

Until later 🙂

A birthday wish to Love personified

June 20, 2013 / / 11 Comments

images

Source: youthheaven.com

Amma,

Even before I start writing, I know very well that a post would not do justice to you and your love. Yet, I wish to write about you here to fulfill that small part of expression which I can at this instant, on this special day on which you were born.

There is this famous saying – “God cannot be everywhere. So he created mothers.” It is not without reason that they say this for what you have done for me till this day can be equaled by no one. Your protective womb was not only for those 9 months when I was a fetus but for my entire lifetime. When I look back in my life, there is not one instance when you weren’t there for me – mentally, physically supporting me in all ways. When it came to taking care of the family, nothing is impossible for you.

You make all the delicacies in the world, but never once have you made them because you wanted to eat them. It is for the family, always. For all the festivities, when everyone around switched from home-made delicacies to readily available ones in shops due to lack of patience and strength, you are the only one who refuses to back off from the tedious routine of making all the sweets and snacks. For you, we are the priority over your troubles. The coconut water out of each coconut used in our kitchen,whether a mouthful or a glassful, has waited for me specially until I wake up after my lazy slumber. This happens till date. I remember asking you every time –“You can have it na? Why are you saving this for me?” Your answer is always-“You like it na? So I want you to have it”. Every dish that you make is heavenly because I know there is that extra ingredient of your love which makes it so.

I can never comprehend how you work non-stop starting at 5.30 AM till 11.00 PM. You must really have some super-power! I look at your strength and my jaw drops. Not once have you lied down saying that you are sick even when you had health issues. It was me, Anna or dad who found out you were not feeling well and forced you to rest. How could you not get fed up with the annoying fights between me and bro when we were young? If at all you were strict with us, it was for the sole reason to teach us the value of a sibling, to discipline us. I now realize how much you have struggled to ingrain every aspect of discipline in us and at the same time pamper us where possible. How you brought the 2 aspects of parenting together is something that amazes me still.

Where do you get that patience to listen to my incessant blabber about school stories, college stories, how I fought with my friends, how I made up with them, who said what etc? When I first rode a cycle, then a two-wheeler, when I learnt swimming, when I won prizes, when I started earning, for every single milestone I reached, the look on your face – It was as if your life’s purpose was fulfilled. The ways you try to learn to use the computer, the doubts you ask.. It’s funny for me sometimes, but I always know it is a big deal for you to grasp the fast changing world and technology. But you do, for us. The world may outgrow you, but we never will. Anna and I will always be kids to you. The world may grow so much in technology but there will never be a time when mankind can invent anything even closely equal to a mother’s love.

I don’t remember a single time when you have ever wanted anything for yourself. Any sari that I certify as nice will be saved in my wardrobe though I don’t prefer saris. Your explanation would be “You might be interested in wearing them in future. So I will save it for you.” I have pestered you with the question-“How can you give away everything without any wants for yourself?” And your answer remains-“You will understand when you become a mother.” Frankly I am scared how I will be as a mother. The responsibilities you shoulder, the sacrifices you make, the pains you bear, all these seem impossible to do. Yet you are here, doing everything I call impossible, showing solid proof for who a mother is.

Your immovable confidence in me and my decisions made me stronger and more responsible. You gave me the freedom to fly high though you were scared to do so. You wanted me to experience everything life has in store for me. You understood the freedom of voicing my opinions especially well since you have never had the chance to in the society you grew up. The way you supported me when I expressed the biggest decision of my life..Despite your fears, hesitations and protectiveness, all that mattered to you was my happiness. Throughout the struggle, you prayed with me, cried with me, smiled with me, fought for me and finally won it for me.

I know you don’t give importance to this day, the day you were born. But how can we not celebrate the birthday of the soul of our family? Happy Birthday Amma! You are the best mother one can ask for. I can keep writing and there are not enough words in any language to describe your selfless love. So I end it here with my personal note – “With just a single call of “Ma” all my needs have been fulfilled, all my sufferings soothed, all my wants pampered, all my dreams made true. I may fly higher and higher but never beyond your reach. I may change with the world but never so much that you don’t know me. For you, I will always be the kid that you know me to be.”

Love,

Keirthu

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