People often look back at their lives once they have travelled a bit, either to find themselves longing for previous moments or happy to have come across troubles or a combination of both. As for me,it’s a combination of both, that too swinging from one extreme to another so fast. The best part of my life according to me, as of now, is my school life till 10th std. I never seemed to have real troubles other than arguing with my dad to make things happen my way. However, at that age, those trivial problems seemed so troublesome and now I can do with a laugh at myself for being so silly. For example,the most interesting part of my farewell day is the story of my tears. I was crying uncontrollably, actually everyone was,but for emotional reasons of parting friends.However my tears were due to the fact that I had done something to my camera which seemed to have lost consciousness. I had fought with my dad that I was capable of handling the camera.:( So finally, the headmistress herself sent her secretary to a photo studio to set my camera right(Actually I had pressed the rewind button, which caused some problem. Cha, it would have been better if it was a digital camera. All the trouble for nothing).The school was our kingdom and we,the 10th students,were our own rulers. I don’t even remember studying too much,yet got interestingly good marks.
After 10th std, there was some change in my attitude or environment or whatever,I still don’t know.I did not like my higher secondary school,not even to the tiniest bit (Mainly because of the uniform,the mentality of staff and co-students,pressure on mugging up crap and the list goes on).So I did not bother to mingle with the new environment which earned me a title-“Arrogant”.I still did not bother and I crossed the higher secondary life without having a real stand, i.e., I just got used to the life and lived it.However, getting used to is not what I enjoy,though it’s the safest way in many situations.The way people create certain illusions about the studies and about getting into “a good college” is really absurd.Now I seriously regret that I was in a situation to be led by those pre-determined opinions.Moreover,I seemed to have developed a tendency to be confused about every single decision that I had to take during this period of time.I would decide upon something,then regret it,then correct it and so on.I would even fear to try out new things,being so confused and on a negative confidence level.Thinking of all these now,I can just let out a huge sigh and wish that I had done better in many aspects.Really,the quote- “Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have” is 100% true(Courtesy: Friend’s facebook profile).
P.S: The story of my nostalgia and regrets in college life deserves a separate story that will be quite lengthy. I will try to blog it out when I can.