I think, therefore I write

Ten Secrets

Hey all ๐Ÿ™‚

Ten secrets of mine! Oh no! Did I give a commitment of being truthful, without analysing the pros and cons?? ๐Ÿ˜› Anyway, let me get on with it.

10 secrets

1. I am a person who seeks attention. Yeah, pathetic no? Still, I love attention. I love it when someone appreciates me. Even if am modest about it, I really grin to myself inside like a kid presented with an unexpected surprise, pathetic loser that I am. Others opinion matter to me more than it should. I am working on it actually, but sometimes it gets the better of me. ๐Ÿ™ (After reading this, you will not think low of me no? Please? *Batting eyelids innocently*)

Attention

2. I have lied a lot. But, never in the wrong intentions. It happened so that I had to lie, for the greater good. Honestly! Like, I had to lie sometimes to my dad, to save him and me the pain of a fight. We don’t get along sometimes and that too because we both have the same core characteristics and similar poles repel. Hai na? At such times, I simply refrain from telling anything. That neither makes me a liar nor a truthful person.

3. I have broken the heart of a person who loved me very much. I couldn’t regret it more. I am doing my best to heal the heart I broke. I know the scars will be there, yet I am doing the best that I can. The whole thing made me a better person. A stronger person. A more reasonable person. An understanding person. Life has taught me lessons, the harder way.

4. I cry when I am angry at someone. Somehow, my brain has been wired so that the anger nerve triggers the tear glands of my eyes. People think that they have hurt me and hence I am crying. Only I know if I am crying of anger or sadness. On a similar note, I cry a lot. A lot means more than you can imagine. But, I think it of as my stress-buster. I feel better once I let out the tears. It enables me to think. To analyse if I did any wrong. To make me strong enough to apologize if I had wronged someone.

5. I have lost touch with certain people in the past on purpose. I do not know if they understood or just let it pass. But, I had to do it and I have my reasons for doing so. You can ask, “What happened?” and I will answer, “Life happened”. Answers a lots of questions no? These 2 words! It does for me.

6. I love romantic novels, movies. Romance is like fantasy to me. I smile to myself when I see romantic scenes, read such books or hear music of romance genre. A fairy tale. That’s what I like to think romance is. Certain come true, certain don’t. So many of my fantasies are not practical, they might happen only in day dreams and movies. I know that. But, what’s wrong in dreaming? It just makes life better. The thing to know is that you should live your life and dream about your fantasies. If you start expecting to live each one of your fantasies, life will become difficult. If you know where to draw the line between life and fantasies, then no problem ๐Ÿ™‚

7. I am a very sensitive person. Sensitive to all emotions. Anger. Love. Hate. Sadness. Happiness. Likes. Dislikes. Excitement. Disappointment. Any emotion comes to me only in strong doses. This is a very difficult thing for me to control. Nevertheless, I am trying a lot to control my emotions. But, when the storm comes, the dam breaks. That’s the status till now.

8. I am the less-giving person in my relationship. I have been that way till date. I do not know why. Maybe because I am demanding by nature. But, being the angel that he is, my guy gives, gives and then gives some more. I know that at times, he feels for me not being as reciprocative as I could be. ๐Ÿ™ However, I work on it and after a while I find myself in the same state as before. This is also one reason that makes me despise myself.

9. I am more like Monica in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Like cleaning, obsessed with stuff when am interested in them. When it comes things that I possessively hold on to, I will never lend them. Even if I do, you will prefer not to borrow from me next time, because of my constant chanting in your ears to keep it safe. High maintainance.

10. I contradict myself in a lot of things. I don’t know why I am weird that way. I think I believe in something, but then something comes along and makes me believe the exact opposite of what I believed before. It is so confusing at times that I am not sure what I think. And that is another reason why my blog is named 0รท0 – The undefined. As undefined as I am.

I chose to let the darker side of me come out because I feel if I am able to accept my negatives in front of the world, I would be able to accept them myself and work on it. Like my guy says, you should be able to laugh at your own mistakes after few days. That makes you a stronger, better person. So people, I was truthful in telling you about the other side of me. I hope you understand and do not judge me only by these secrets that I revealed. Behind all these, lies a good heart ๐Ÿ˜›

Images Courtesy: All Images from Google Search

Until later ๐Ÿ™‚

18 Comments

  1. viya

    ahem.. Attention seeker eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰
    OMG! i’ve been through point 3 and point 4 is true for me too.. when i’m angry i start yelling and suddenly tears are flowing out.. damn!..
    oooh High maintenance girl ๐Ÿ˜‰ .. i’m glad you’ve found a ‘giver’ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    soooooper knowing about you more ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Keirthana

    Ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚ Yup. Thank you for the understanding Viya ๐Ÿ™‚ I have been worse before, but I am happy that I am better now ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you too are over that point 4. And yeah, I am so lucky I got a giver. Sure I will change. He deserves it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thank you for the super fast comment ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Guruprasad

    Be careful with images that you use in your posts. Just a “Images Courtesy: All Images from Google Search” may not be safe enough. Even though Google indexes zillions of images, most of them may not permit usage elsewhere. So beware ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Poorni

    strange! Un writing style very different in this post, language mostly. I tried again and again, but can’t imagine u speaking like that ๐Ÿ˜› Hyderabad effect a?

  5. Keirthana

    @Guru: I thought “Images Courtesy: All Images from Google Search” would be enough. Ok. Point taken. Will check properly from now on ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Keirthana

    @Poorni: Is it? I feel my writing style has changed after college days, but I cannot locate the transition point. Anyway, is it good? If so, no problem ๐Ÿ™‚ Else I might have to change for the better right? So let me know ๐Ÿ™‚

    And maybe the content made it difficult for you imagine me speaking like that ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Poorni

    Anything is good as long as it conveys the intended ๐Ÿ™‚ but I thought you always stuck to conversing in one language at a time. The difference was ” you will not think low of me no?” “Hai na?” and the like.

  8. Keirthana

    @Poorni: That definitely is Hyderabad effect. Speaking Telugu for most of the time, trying not forget the little Hindi that I know, writing in English and talking to family in Tamil, my brain is struggling very hard to stick to one language. And this post came out more like talking than writing ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Sumitra

    Nice post Keirthana, it takes courage to bare yourself before the world. I can relate to point 2 the most. When I was just out of college and started working, I had to consciously remind myself that I did not have to tell my mom everything, and I did not have to feel guilty about it. Everyone does not have to know everything about you. It’s fine to keep silent to avoid an argument, when you know you haven’t done anything wrong.

  10. keirthana

    Thanks Sumitra ๐Ÿ™‚ And you are right about point 2. We call it “For the greater good” ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜›

    And the 10 day challenge is sort of giving me some courage to open up and be honest about it. Also, it helps me to work on correcting myself.

  11. Atrocious Scribblings

    It takes some doing to share secrets about yourself, which you’ve done here, proud of you.

    Loved the last paragraph; made a lot of sense to me. Well written.

    Completely with you on pointers 2 and 9.

  12. keirthana

    @Atrocious Scribblings: Thank you for your kind words ๐Ÿ™‚
    And Monica, you too? Seriously? Give me a high five ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. The Updater

    This post revealed a personality of you and took it a whole new emotional level ๐Ÿ™‚
    I cry when I’m angry and frustrated too ๐Ÿ™‚
    And Monica part, I’m with you too ๐Ÿ˜€
    I contradict myself too (that’s probably because I’m a geminian, and two different, opposite personalities reside within me ๐Ÿ™ ) Wait, are you a geminian? ๐Ÿ˜€

  14. Keirthana

    @The Updater: Thank you Divya ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad that we are similar in some aspects. Am really happy you could understand my negatives in an optimistic way. And my zodiac is Libra ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜€ I guess we all have our craziness in some form or other. What matters is if we are ready to accept the same and live with it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. paanipuri lover

    Okay! I’m shocked! Really!
    I was nodding at every point with just one thought, “I do that, too!”…
    Man, we are soooo similar, in sooo many ways! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€
    And you’re a libran?! I love librans! Well, according to Linda Goodman and her book, I’ve fallen in love with librans! Like, I’ve always thought that my guy SHOULD be a libran! Mad na? I am! ๐Ÿ˜€

  16. Keirthana

    @Paanipuri Lover: Really? Woowie ๐Ÿ™‚ You love librans ๐Ÿ™‚ Then sure we will get along well! ๐Ÿ˜€ Sooooooooooo happy ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. smita

    it’s really a hard thing spilling out your secrets like this ๐Ÿ™‚
    nicely put post ๐Ÿ™‚
    helped me in developing my own post ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Keirthana

      Thank you Smita ๐Ÿ™‚

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