I think, therefore I write

Category: LIFE HAPPENS (Page 9 of 25)

Inner Peace

When I was a kid, I used to be pretty excited about my birthdays. Of course, the birthday party culture was abandoned along the way but the excitement never died. I had have a thing for new stuff and hence all the new dress, accessories and gifts would fill me with adrenaline. I remember arranging everything I would wear or use on my birthday the previous night itself. New dress, check. Matching accessories, check. Chocolates to be distributed, check. School/college bag packed, check. Yeah, I was doing it even when I was in college, only that friends at college made it a whole different experience.

Up until school, your birthday doesn’t start until you get up in the morning. But college sure was different. At 12 midnight prompt, your friends would wake you up  and make you cut the gorgeous cake they had smuggled into the hostel without your knowledge. And then use 90% of the cake to give you a facial. The rest 10% would happily rest in our tummies. I even got a sprite shower once along with the chocolate cake facial. Then comes the birthday bumps, ragging, chatting, pulling each others’ legs, the gifts and thank yous and by the time we would finally go to bed, it would already be the time we would have to get up.

As time flew by, all this became a frozen past and I started getting used to it. After all, I was never a party person (Am still not). But this once a year occasion was what I called a dose of excitement that I can’t help. Now 4 years after graduating from college and leaving my immaturity behind, birthdays don’t matter much any more. Yeah, we take a break and have a nice day/vacation. At the end of the day, I feel as happy and peaceful I feel on any good day with hubby. Guess that’s what happens when you are so contently in love.

Anyway, my point is the personal adrenaline rush is gone. Before I used to have that rush even when my birthday fell on a holiday and the chances of celebrating it with friends were bleak. The feeling is different now. For the past few years, I have formed a tradition. Dress up, visit a temple (solely for parents’ sake), do a deed which equates visiting a temple in my dictionary, like putting a smile on someone’s face. I would at least make a decision and execute it if I am not able to do anything on that exact day. (This year, I am still thinking on what I can do to make a difference in someone’s life. Suggestions are welcome.) With that, hubby will plan an outing for us to spend some quality time and it will be bliss.

So I guess the little girl has grown up. Still a child at heart, but maturity creeps in no matter what. At least a little at a time. And I feel that little dose is necessary. I still jump up at the sight of a bubble wrap and set about popping it immediately. But that shouldn’t stop me from becoming a little more responsible. And being responsible/mature shouldn’t stop me from being the kid I am. I feel I can co-exist on both levels contently. 🙂 After all, what’s the point in being mature if you can’t be childish sometimes?

Until later 🙂

The lone tear drop

Mudra closed her eyes, a vain attempt to make the tears go the other way round. But she has never succeeded much,either way a lone tear drop cascades through her cheeks that were like pleasant plains and ended near her honey-dew lips. What a life it is, or rather was! She believed that she had no regrets, but memories plenty. It was beautiful, no one could disagree. But now? Everything in the house, every movement in the air, every existence around her reminded her of Rithvik. Her soul mate, or so she had believed. Even today, it felt too real to comprehend and too much an illusion to shrug off. Rithvik… The sound of his name on her lips strung a lot of chords in her. As each of them struck, she would just melt a little bit more.

Was it her fault for wanting to pursue something he couldn’t? Or was it his fault that he had his family depending on him much that he cannot think of moving? Was it their fault that they knew this would become a problem yet wanted to enjoy what they had as long as they had it? Sometimes life happens, they say! No, life does not just happen. It strikes with a deadly blow giving you choices that you cannot refuse and making you choose the one choice that you feared. The same happened to her and she did what life made her do. Bidding him goodbye, she packed her heart along with her bags and flew where her wings took her. He picked up the pieces of his heart and tried to put it in one piece. Like it or not, he had to live with it. And so he did.

priorities2

She thought it was for the best.  Then why does that lone tear drop make way from her eyes every night as the silence in her apartment engulfs her? Will time change it all? Or will love triumph it all? The one question that none of us have an answer to. Life makes us do a lot of things. In the end, all that matters are our priorities. That set right, they won’t give you regrets. They might give you scars in the passing but not lasting regrets!

Until later 🙂

October’s the One!

Of late, I have been writing in spurts. Either I write multiple posts in a short span or I don’t get time to write at all. I have been trying to schedule posts but that’s not working too well either. Sigh! In any case, I hope all this is falling into place come November. There’s a change in work and I am changing it for good. The new work has more scope for writing and I can’t be more excited about it. So with this new twist, I hope my work-life balance gets better and I have more time for blogging, reading, cooking and romancing with the hubby 😛 And I have a plan in place to get a compact stationery kit and a journal that am gonna cary around to write as soon as the words appear in my mind.

October being the birthday month arrived with lots of excitement and work. It has been busy from the start with sis-in-law’s wedding giving it a kick start, then lots of travel, and the much hyped Diwali – the first Diwali after marriage coming up. I have already completed my birthday shopping and have got a gift from the hubby too 🙂 A simple and stylish fastrack watch! I was so excited to wear it immediately but hubby put his foot down since I have a obssession for using new things immediately. So now I am waiting for the 20th to come to wear it. Almost immediately after the birthday, we are leaving for home for the Diwali celebration. There is much fuss and hype going at home since this is the first big celebration after our marriage but we don’t feel any different. We both hate crackers and all the pollution and hence refrain from them. Our diwali tradition is to relish the home food, watch a bit of TV, spend quality time with family and a visit to the temple for a special application to God(This I do for my loved ones who are more religious).

I also have a few books on the list, Rebecca, the epic twins- Ramayana and Mahabharata for starters. I have already read the epics long back and quite familiar with them but recently I stumbled upon the acclaimed Rajaji’s version and hence I thought of giving it a go again. I picked up Rebecca as Aathira’s review inspired me.

So this month is the one which has brought in a lot of good changes and I sure hope the pieces of my puzzle are falling into place for the long run. I am grateful for all that life has given me and pray for the strength I need for the upcoming challenges. So how have you been? How’s life treating you?

Until later 🙂

Deadlock

deadlock

He didn’t want to be a paper-weight in her life, curbing her from flying. He wanted her to fly even if it meant that she has to leave him. She didn’t want to fly without him, she wanted him to weigh her down. She wanted him to keep her grounded even if it meant sacrifice.

Until later 🙂

Because it’s the only way…

As she acknowledged the pain in her heart, she wondered how much more were left. She thought that she was over the whole thing. Well, her heart said otherwise. Wanting something so much and getting it too is a wonderful feeling. She was over the clouds when she got the opportunity that would make her passion come alive. However, what it offered did not meet her needs, let alone wants. She was torn between life’s needs and her heart’s wants. She couldn’t brush either aside. While she felt that while given the chance, she also felt that it underestimated her worth. The confusion was too much but she knew the only way is through it and not away from it. Just like the water hole that blocks your path when all you have is that path you are on. So she decided to close her eyes and wade through the pain and let it go, because if it was meant to be, she would get her fair share.

Until later 🙂

Linking this vignette to Magpie Tales: Mag 238. Image source: The same prompt.

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