Having been in an incredibly long relationship and married to my childhood sweetheart, the first question many ask me is – “Are you not bored?”. When I say no, people ask, “How can you not be?”.
I cannot understand how anyone can be bored with another person just because they have been together for a long time. For me, boredom comes with personality mismatch, not with the length of a relationship. Do you get bored with your parents just because you have known them all your life? Or do you get bored with your siblings? No. You get frustrated, annoyed. angry when conflicts arise but you don’t get bored.
Also, people change incredibly fast. I am not the same person I was last year. So no matter how many number of years you put in a relationship, you have something to work on. In fact, a long relationship means that real hard work has gone in settling the chaos so that it stays afloat. What others see might be a fairy tale but there will be skeletons laid to rest (not buried, for I believe trust is the core of a relationship) before the fairy tale was built.
So pardon me if you can’t see it, but I don’t see myself getting bored with my husband just because I have known him almost all my life. And after so much time together, if I find some personality trait of his boring, I trust myself to be able to tell it to his face and I trust him enough to do something about it. 🙂
In the chaos of gender equality, there seems to be some confusion creeping in. Most people are thinking and working only towards the idea that women are born to do everything men can. But if we think of it as women are born to do everything men can’t, a whole new dimension opens up.
Strong women don’t play the victim. They don’t seek pity from others. And they don’t point fingers to make themselves feel better. They STAND and they DEAL.
My personal thought – The latter quote need not just apply to women. Applies to any strong person.
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An advertisement for SBI life insurance greeted me through the pages of The Hindu on a sombre morning. I read through the poem and smiled at the brevity that gets through to the emotional side of readers. But there was one line that glowed red in spite of its inconspicuousness.
But you don’t give in, for your wife too, is part of the journey.
Although that was just one line in the poem, it reminded me of how often I see advertisements that show only male protagonists thinking about insurance for their family. It is as if they are obligated with the task of being the provider even after their unfortunate deaths or other mishaps.
It’s just plain unfair to men. Protecting and providing for a child is a parent’s responsibility, no matter their gender. Protecting and making sure your partner is fine when you are no longer around is an emotion anyone can express, no matter their gender. In today’s world, care giving is taken up equally by sons and daughters, wives and husbands. Yet that subconscious conditioning of a male provider and a female care-giver is far from being faded. Such subtle reminders exist everywhere, knowingly and unknowingly, reiterating something that is no longer meaningful. There are gender neutral words – spouse, partner to use but still this ad chose to be gender specific, even if only for a line.
This just shows how far we are to go if we need to break the shackles of conditioning and how much work we have to do if we want to be truly independent of biases. May we all step towards the light at the end of the very long tunnel.
Until later 🙂
I have often heard people say that if you want something so badly, the entire universe will conspire to enable you to achieve your dream. Well, when you apply that to my life, all I can say is so far, so good. But here is a juncture that poses a question again. One that reeks of uncertainty. And if you knew one thing about me, it would be that I like planning and control. So this situation which doesn’t have a trace of a plan has swept the rug off my feet. I try everyday to let it go, but in vain.
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I blame that inability to let things happen on my passion. Being passionate about something in your life gives a sense of fulfillment that nothing else does. My work is something I deeply care about and have no willingness to sacrifice. My work has given me a sense of confidence, a true indication of what I am good at, what I am capable of, and what I should improve at. But how long I will have the support system to have a work-life balance is something I am unaware of. And of all things, the universe should know how badly I want this to work out. *Fingers crossed*
Until later 🙂
Every time you smile, I realize how blessed I am.
Every time I hug you, I realize how gifted I am.
Every time I inhale your baby smell, I realize how happy I am.
Every time I crib about being tired, I realize there are a lot of people who would give anything to be this tired for this reason.
Every time you rub your face against mine, I realize heaven is not impossible.
I asked myself a hundred times, why do I want to have a baby? I never knew the answer before but now I do.
You are the answer to my questions. I might have a million of them but you answer them in a million ways. Ways that I could never comprehend until you show me. Ways that would seem highly impossible until you show me.
I have always considered providing and taking care of a family to be the biggest challenge and yet, the biggest achievement of my life. And I had thought I had done it even before you came along to show me that there’s more. You showed me I can do more when I thought I couldn’t. Just like your dad. You both push me to greater heights when I myself have given up and settled. And I don’t often remember how blessed I am to have that. To have help to realize your purpose in life. But when I do remember, it overwhelms me so much that I am at a loss of words. So here’s a thank you. Thank you for everything.
I hope that someday you read this and realize how much I love you and how grateful I am to have you.
Until later 🙂