Out of all the ways to get drunk,
I chose to get drunk on you
And your memories
I do admit, it's an incredible way
To get high, high on the emotions
And the way you made me feel
I laughed right in the face of closure
And didn't even bother moving on
Surprisingly, no regrets there
I liked the trance, the trance of feeling
How I wanted to feel, how it felt to feel
The desire, going wild with no reigns
Even now, it's like age old wine
All it takes is a tiny sip
To get intoxicated once again
Until later 🙂
A light fragrance in the air, and
A feeling of hands running through my hair,
Reminding me of you and your memory
A time capsule, buried deep in me.
Like a ghost from the past,
Every memory of you is a blast.
But there’s no pain in me
Or my memories, none at all.
When & how did you fade?
From being the voice of my soul
To a mere echo, blighted in existence.
And I wonder, was that all there was to us?
Life teaches a lot of intriguing lessons
The best of which, I think, is to forget.
As I heal with each passing day,
I learn to let your memories fade away.
Like that distant echo that you can’t catch,
Like that missing piece of the puzzle,
Like the rain-washed verses of an estranged poem,
Like the forgotten beauty of a lost voice.
Until later 🙂
Image courtesy: http://magpietales.blogspot.in/
The passion that became an obsession
The indifference that comes with mistrust
The memory that kept coming back
The oblivion which makes everything so easy
The love that leaped in flames
The hate which comes so easily
The tears that don’t need any prompt
The smiles that put everything straight
The quiet innocence which shields
And the knowledge which robs that very peace
The anger that burns up the place
The calm before that very storm
In spite of all the burdening emotions
Stay still, one with inner peace
As you try to contend content
Peace will come find you
Give in to that feeling of stillness
Observe what brings in the dark
In this world that’s so blatant
You will find, as if on cue
That single thread of mindfulness
If you remember to turn the light on
Inspired by Dumbledore’s famous quote in Harry Potter & the prisoner of Azkaban – “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”
Until later 🙂
Linking this to Magpie Tales
I sat still with only the silence for company. The door is ajar, just as you left it. The silence is deafening like never before. There have been more silences in my life, all courtesy me, but never anything like this. There were a million thoughts that raced through my mind but none were voiced. The last image in my eyes was that of you leaving. The image kept playing over and over in my mind like an endless movie, like a forlorn song that had gone on repeat mode. I didn’t even try to shut it out. I couldn’t bother too. Oh, what is that I really wanted to say to you? When you were walking away, there were so many things I had to say to you, but I stood there just watching you leave. All my thoughts and words lost their meaning as you shut the metaphoric door between us. How come there’s a door to shut between us?
Did I want to say that I still love you?
Or did I want to say I should have never loved you?
Did I want to tell you to stay?
Or did I want to tell you to get lost for good?
Did I want to say that all love is not lost between us?
Or did I want to say that there was never any love to begin with?
Did I want to say that I had gotten used to the silences?
Or did I want to say that I couldn’t take them any more?
Did I want to say Thank you for all that you gave me?
Or did I want to say Thank you for ruining my life?
Did I want to say that I now understood love?
Or did I want to say that I still think love is bullshit?
What is it that I really wanted to say? I wished you had the ability to read my mind as a silent tear made its way down my cheeks. I was and still am a messed up soul and you knew it. You took me with the hope that you will be able to make the mess right with your love. I was skeptical but I had unknowingly started growing on you. The silence around me in your absence stands solid proof of that. So you had indeed worked the magic on me. The magic of love! But then why did you leave? Or why did I make you leave? Couldn’t you take any more of my cynicism, my sarcasm and my detachment? I guess that’d be it. Who could stand years of neglect clinging on to just hope that I’d believe some day? I don’t blame you.
I noticed that the day had passed only when the darkness crept in. I realized that there was never another hope of a dawn for me. Especially with you gone… A sob escaped my lips and I was surprised when it resonated back to me. My head jerked up as if in reflex and my eyes turned to the doorway with the door still ajar. It was the same as in the morning except for one difference. The difference being you standing there leaning on the door with tears in your eyes. I thought you leaving had me hallucinating. But as you came close to me and cupped my face in your hands, I started believing. And your words that followed stunned me, “Why could you not just let the inhibitions go? Why could you not express the love that you have got in you? Why couldn’t you stop holding back for once? Why could you not stop me leaving? Let it go for me, please…” As you spoke and as the realization that you never had the intention of leaving dawned on me, I let go. Then and there. All my inhibitions. All the words that were racing through my mind. All the tears I had withheld in me. And then I knew exactly what I really wanted to say. And I did – “I love you”.
Until later 🙂
This post is for the Wordy Wednesday prompt “What is it that I really want to say?” @ Blog-A-Rhythm:
The tears that sprout before you feel,
The nostalgia that comes before you call,
The pain that hurts before you realize,
The rush that goes away before you could savor,
The low that depresses before you avoid,
The love that hits before you know,
The anxiety that troubles before you acknowledge,
The rage that hurts before you can control,
The fear that eats you up before you address,
The excitement that’s infectious before you process,
The craving that tempts you before you could fight,
All these make us human
Emotions – Bundled up in a mess.
Until later 🙂