I think, therefore I write

Tag: Life (Page 11 of 15)

Reality check

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I am sitting alone, thinking about my life so far and my life ahead. The room is so silent and the rhythmic creaking of my fan is such an habitual sound to me that it doesn’t disturb the silence for me. 25 years of life and already I am out of breath due to the mad race. Yes, I have a few precious persons in my life who save me from the madness that is the world and I know to appreciate them. There are some things in life that keep it going, motivating me to push on.

All that aside, there have been moments when I think what am I doing here? What’s the purpose of me being here at this moment? A lot of philosophical mess is there in my mind and taking advantage of the same, my mind just takes control and spews random thoughts out all the time. There are many things to enjoy, a lot of things to write about, a lot of books to read, a lot of challenges to face and so on. But do we realize the enormity of it? If yes, do we realize it on time? How many times do we take things for granted? How many times are we lost in this huge ocean of life?

We are forced to change constantly. We hate it, face it and somehow do it in the end since there’s no other choice. What if we let go of the inhibitions and take it a bit more positively? What if we know that life’s hard but decide to just face it instead of moping around? Is it as easy as it sounds? We’ll never know until we try it. Maybe it’s easier than we thought or maybe it’s harder than we thought. At any point, we never know what’s at the end of the road. What we are shown is just the next step or sometimes even the next step is hidden in darkness. But should that stop us from trying? If so, what’s the point of even navigating till the end of the tunnel? We can just sit wherever we are and get run over 😉 But we don’t wanna do that, right? We want to keep going ahead. So taking the next step is an essential one. Amidst all the chaos is the calm we are searching for.

Until later 🙂

Shadow

She was always there. Being present. A silent spectator. When everything else took priority and acted to push her out. She clung on fiercely. She knew that what she was doing might not be practicality. She would have to wait only in the hope that someday it would be her turn. Someday her time would come. But the wait went on too long. She was pushed beyond her limits. She was caught up in the storm which threatened to engulf her completely. All she wished for was a little normalcy. A simple life. But life gave her everything but that. Madness was a daily call. Peace of mind had lost its meaning to her. There was nothing but chaos. Many a time she thought of ending it. There were so many simple ways for that. But that’s not the way.

Finally after too many days, the time did come. It was her turn to hold her head high. It was her chance to come into the light. But there she was, wasted and done. The sun had set for her long back and she went with the light. Turning from a shadow into entirely nothing. She breathed her last with the thought that she did something right. That she had taken the right decision even though it had cost her, her life. Life had come a little too late and she was no longer there to live it. The calmness which she asked for embraced her entirely. She was at peace at last. Life was not how she desired but after-life was.

Until later,
Keirthana 🙂

P.S: For those who don’t get it, my intention was to portray a vignette. An abstract one at that, which paints the turmoil a human mind goes through when subjected to extreme suffering in life. The dark ending is something that suits the vignette or so I feel. 🙂

I know!

Sometimes the answer is right in front of your eyes. But you don’t see it. Maybe because you cannot or maybe because you don’t want to or maybe because it is not the easy choice. However when you do see it, it shines brightly in your face. You feel like you have known all along that it is the only path you would have to go. That it is the only choice you would make even if it is the most difficult thing in the world. You might have been blinded by the dilemma of doing the easy thing or doing the right thing, for in life, most often than not the easy thing and the right thing are not the same.

Despite all this, the right thing you have to do will eventually come to you and you will slowly accept the fact that even though it is the most difficult decision you have to make in your life, even though it posed a threat that everything would fall apart except that one thing which is your life,  you will have to take it because that’s what you would want yourself to do when you look back. None of the other troubles would matter. Only this decision. If you decide this right, you will die without regrets even if you didn’t have anything else in the world.

My friend casually said “Your world cannot be torn apart unless it is from the inside”. It struck me like a lightning. It made me see what I never saw despite so many explicit advices and suggestions. And I know if the sides were reversed, I would be bestowed with the right decision and not the easy decision. I know I would be cherished. I know I would be protected like a child in a mother’s womb if I were on the other side of the coin. So I know what to do now. I know I have to choose the right path even if it is laid with thorns and stones. I know I would want myself to have my heart in place even if every other part of my body is bruised in the journey. There is no use having everything intact and a broken heart.

Nothing else matters when you know what you want. That one thing is the quintessence of your life. Everything else takes a back seat. I am glad I got that clarity. It’s gonna be a hard ride but I am all geared up. I know, now!

Until later 🙂

Argggggggggggghhhhhh

Life is hard, nothing is working out right, feeling blue all the time since everything is falling apart, I want to write something but all I feel like saying is “Arggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh” like Phoebe in FRIENDS. Hope is the only thing that keeps it going.

Really sad and freaked out,

Yours truly 🙁

Days of our lives

There are days like…

 

Missing a bus and waiting for half an hour among the huge crowd at the bus stop.
A can’t-get-a-break busy Monday.
Heavy rains when you are half way and you forgot your umbrella.
Your hair just won’t set.
You start making a hurried Maggi and realize the gas is over and there is no power for the induction stove.
You get into the bus and realize that you have only a 500 rupee note for a 12 rupees ticket.
You didn’t notice your weight increase in the last few months.
Your boyfriend does not understand that you cannot get off work early.
You realize that you haven’t blogged in a month.
Your bus stops a good 20 feet from you and by the time you board, the only space that is left is near the exit.
Your health plays hide and seek with one or the other issue causing daily trouble.

 

And then there are days like…

 

You miss a horribly crowded bus and get an empty one immediately after.
A work-done-early Friday.
You step inside your cozy home and it starts drizzling.
Everyone compliments your new hair-do.
You finish all the cooking and the gas burns out.
You have change to manage the entire week.
You suddenly discover you have lost a couple of kgs.
Your boyfriend plans a surprise evening and your boss is on extended leave.
You get more thoughts to write and compliments pour in for your blog.
Your bus stops right at your step and you get that 1 empty seat.
Your health is in a good shape for a while and you are happy.

 

However the days are, life does go on.

Until later 🙂

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