I think, therefore I write

Tag: Nostalgia (Page 2 of 3)

The shaved head – Where it all started

Grade: LKG

My parents had my head shaved as an offering to some God, without any consideration of how I would feel about going to school with no hair on my head. I dreaded the teasing I would have to endure from other kids. My mom convinced me that there would be other kids too who’d have shaved heads over the summer vacation. With that small consolation, I entered the class and stared around. In the vast number of heads bobbing up and down, as kids screamed, fell down, laughed, stared pointlessly, pulled each others’ hair, ate chalk and so on, mine was the only shaved head. I made a note in my mind to bawl at mom the moment she came to pick me up from school. And I also made a note to thrash any kid who’s tease me for the lack of hair on my head. Minutes passed, I was sitting in a corner munching my snacks in the break time. Then I don’t remember how it happened or why (maybe I refused to share my snacks), a boy kid laughed at me and called me ‘mottai’ which means ‘shaved head’ in my native language. I was furious but turns out I was not much of a macho back then. So instead of entering into a fist fight with him, I dutifully went and reported to my class teacher about it, adding a few more tears than necessary. After witnessing the scolding and thumps he got, I resumed munching my snacks with satisfaction.

Grade: UKG

Over time, the above incident was forgiven and I had become friends with him. I don’t remember how but after all I was 4 yrs old and all it took to win me back then was sharing a snack or a chalk. So how I reconciled with him doesn’t matter. We both sat next to each other and I would chatter all day while this kid listened to me patiently. This continued and my class teacher started keeping a keen eye on me as I kept talking, in class, out of class, during class and any minute I was with him. Turns out she was waiting for a chance to meet my mum and complain about this incessant talking and soon enough, the opportunity presented itself. I had scraped my knee big time while playing and mom took me to the doctor before school. It got late and hence mom dropped me till class to request the teacher to excuse me and my bandaged leg. Once I saw this kid sitting next to a vacant seat, expecting me, all my tears vanished. I wanted to run straight to him and tell about the story of my bandaged leg. And so I did, without even collecting my bag and lunch from mom, and started my show while he looked on. Meanwhile, my teacher lost no time in complaining that this is exactly what she was talking about.

Grade: 1

During the awarding ceremony at the end of each year for the toppers, I was sitting next to the same kid. We were sharing the first proficiency prize. My mom had decked my hair with jasmine flowers which have those gorgeous red velvet-like flowers in between. We were bored to the core with all the chief guests talking on and on before giving away the prizes. So I suggested to my now best friend that he could pluck the red flowers one by one and we could play with it. So we did for another 10 mins, without any concern about the onlookers. By the time I went on stage, there were only jasmines drooping sadly from my hair.

Grade: 2

We both has become so close that we formed a kind of rowdy gang and started dominating others. I don’t remember what this was all about but remember wanting to be with this kid even as a sidekick. Of course being in 2nd grade, we wouldn’t have been much action than talk. Anyway the news reached the teacher which again resulted in a complaint session and twisted ears this time for me. He was spared because he was the good boy, topper always and she believed it was my influence that’s getting him into trouble.

Grade: 3-10

We became the best of friends. I’d do anything for him. Of course there were a lot of fights but it was always forgiven and forgotten. I looked up to him in anything I did. He was the competitor for me whom I tried very hard to beat but could never. As a joke over a fight, he set me lines once. He said I had to write a set of useless lines over and over again until my diary was full of it. You wouldn’t believe me, but I did it. It was because of him I passed my physics board exam, it took him one hour and endless patience to make me understand how the current could flow in opposite direction of the coil. Yet, he did it. He dragged me along with him for all the competitions he participated in. We won quite a few prizes, though the credit for most of them went to him.


A lot of things happened after grade 10 that turned our lives topsy-turvy. We went to different schools, then different colleges. A lot happened in our lives separately and together. But all that is there to tell you now, to complete the tale, is that I cannot believe that I am married to that boy kid who teased me for my shaved head in my kindergarten. Even more, I cannot believe that is the first meeting I remember of us. When people ask how we met for the first time, I think of it and burst out laughing. There were no romantic looks across the bar in our story, there was no tingling touching of hands, there was no looking into each others’ eyes. All we had was a shaved head, and boy did we make a story out of it!


When I think back, I realize the enormity of knowing someone for 22 years when your age is 25. Heck, you only know your family before you’re 3 and you don’t remember anything of it. So as far my memory stretches back, he is there. People ask us, don’t you get bored? Nope, after all these years, we still have many firsts and no lasts.

Until later 🙂

P.S: To my amusement, he kept denying his involvement in the naughty incidents I have written about. He keeps denying still and will do so forever. He says he was such a good kid and would never tease another kid like that. And I say – Heck, you were 3. At that age, what would any kid know about being nice 😛

P.P.S: He is still a kid, in so many ways. I can see the shade of that kindergarten personality many a time, now that I am living with him. 🙂

Once upon a time…

There are times when you look back at your life and don’t recognize yourself doing all those things which you once did..

We always want what is not in our hands. And if by life’s grace we get what we want, we just find something new to long for. Reflecting on life –  I have done a lot of this subconsciously and I have had a lot of realizations but I have to honestly accept that they have not yet sunk in or rather the skewed human mind doesn’t allow the sink in process. You know that this is how things are and will be, yet the human nature does not accept it. Acceptance is a big deal – Acceptance of everything, the past, the present and the future. I never gave it a second thought before. Now that I know how important it is and how many problems it will solve, I want to embrace it. I try every single day. When I get up in the morning, I tell myself “Accept life! It has never failed you, though you might have misunderstood that it had during some tough times.” It is just harder than it sounds but I intend to keep trying. Also, the flashes of nostalgia about one’s life so far gives a very different perspective of how things are and how things should be.

There was a time when I had nothing but tears and fear in my heart about Hyderabad. There was a time when I got used to the city and whiled away the time in neutrality.
There was a time when I wanted nothing else in my life than to get out of the city.
Then there was a time when I started to think that the Hyderabad episode was not that bad.
Then there came a time when I realized that I had an awesome life there and just that I didn’t realize it back then.

There was a time when my first company seemed so special.
There was a time when I didn’t care about it.
There was a time when I started thinking that I am getting nothing out of it and wanted to just get out.
Then there came a time when I realized how much the company has shaped up my life even beyond my career and today I tell people I was treated like a queen back then.

There was a time when I entered my new company with excitement.
This is the time when the excitement has turned into fear because I have to meet up with a lot of expectations.
And I know there will come a time when I look back and laugh at myself for having feared about such things.

I wrote the these lines just to come back here in future and check how I feel about them! I have seen myself and many other people always just reaching out for the next step. It is fine as long as we take a moment to be thankful for where we are now. Every person’s life, if written down, will start somewhere and will end at a place which is nothing like the starting point. Sometimes, I find myself wanting to be in that comfort zone without getting out because of insecurities. I know it is not right. So, I chide myself and move on. This post is for the people who think they have achieved nothing so far and feel insecure. Think back on your “Once upon a time” moments and you will know how far you have come. It is good to think back as long as you remember that there is a tomorrow that you cannot avoid 😉

Until later,

Keirthana 🙂


Today morning I had a rather dull start and I was seeking some motivation to move on. I was digging my mailbox for something useful or something interesting and I found out a thread of conversation that I had among some best friends of mine in college, a few months back. It brought back memories and I got too nostalgic and penned down the below words. I just meant to write what I felt but it came out in the form of verses and I just went along. It is not exactly a poem, but just a feeling that came out this way. It might be a bit raw, like a child’s attempt at poetry. Still I felt that it was special because what caused this was special. So here it is, I dedicate it to all my friends.

Bored was her heart, seeking a new start,

The day seemed long and dull; she was searching for a lull,

She hit upon an old conversation with her friends in her mailbox,

As she read it, she was washed over by a wave of nostalgia,

All the fun they had, the teasing charade,

The family tree, movie-spree,

The non-stop assignments that became friends’ consignments,

All they did was to bunk classes and eat junk food at the hostel,

Yet those days are dear and the laughter was still ringing for her to hear,

The silly fights and the patch-up times, always had them laughing later like a wind-chime,

To think of all those now, seemed like a bygone fairytale,

All that is left now is the memories and slam book memoirs,

And a never-ending song in her heart.

Until later 🙂

P.S : I don’t know what’s with me and the color Cyan. I seem to be liking it more and more by each passing day, that I want to see it everywhere and use it everywhere. Is it because winter is here and I have always associated any shade of blue to winter?

Looking back!

Long gone are those days, when homework/assignments/exams to be submitted were the greatest headache. Things change and as the clichĂ©d truth goes-“Change is the one thing that never changes”. It is amazingly wondering to look behind and see that we have come past so many things and have experienced “Change” itself in full glory. The transition from our perspective doesn’t seem to happen at all. But lo and behold, 1 day you look back and you are forced to accept that those days seem like a million years ago though in real you have been alive for just 20 odd years.

When I look back,I see a range of colors in my life starting from the excitement of sharpening a new pencil to playing Happy Aquarium endlessly and now to think of it, I could not wonder if it was really me. Even when I go to places where I grew up or studied or even when I see photos of places where I have my nostalgia, I cannot help but realise that what I miss the most are really not those places but my childhood that I had there. The memories that I had there. People have been in and out of my life and I have been in and out of other people’s life too. However, I am happy where I am and who I have now. It’s just a reminiscence to see how people change with life.

The level of mental mind-set, opinions or perspectives or maturity – Call it whatever! It doesn’t just seem so that we and our perspectives change based on even the smallest of incidents that happen in our life or in the life that surrounds us and yet, we don’t notice it. I don’t deny that we still cling on to certain things like in my case, still Harry Potter ser??ies is the same to me how much ever times I read it and the “Friends” sitcom is the same how many ever times I watch it and my iPod collection sounds the same to me. It’s just time that tells you when you will grow out of it and if you will at all. Some things/people run deep that you will have them until you live, even after our perspective towards them changes. And others, we just move on because we have to.

All these traffic is because of me reminiscing about certain things that I had but do not have now and about certain things that I still have and will always have. 🙂 I have the best things possible going on and I am looking forward to them and at the same time I also have my insecurities and fears but I know I will just be fine.If you are in the same boat as me, leave your thoughts here. I’d be glad to know.

I know I have come a long way. And I am definitely happy about it.

Until later 🙂

CHN10AJ016 @ Java Juggernaut

When I started my career on June 7, 2010, I never thought that this “CHN10AJ016” would mean to me this much. It all started out like a typical class, struggling for interaction. However, over a few days, our batch turned to be one of the best-interactive batches, in my opinion. The honorable reason for this is basically 1 person-Mohamed Sithik, fondly called the gangleader, batch topper, Sithik anna etc. This anna can survive without eating, but not without talking. With this initiative, Easwar, Sam, Deepak anna, Guru Prasad and others kicked off the perfect interaction, that I never managed to enjoy during college life (Which had been on my regret list for those 4 years).

There are special moments that cannot be confined to 1 post, but I will jot down a few which deserve the highest honor:

1. The daily fun that starts as Sithik anna and Sam start teasing Subaraj, Bino anna and Boopathi for any reason they can think of.

2. Nick names that are weird in every sense 🙂

3. The google group(ni-ju-yan) created for academic purposes, is used for evry other reason with a tinge of academic mails,that comes only from our trainer. 😛

4.The funny decorations that depicted something which  none of us understood till date.

5. Little thefts in the class (master-planned by sithik anna and Sam) that send the owner of the stolen things on a searching spree for the day.

6. The first batch outing, organized as an Outreach visit. It was definitely a lifetime experience. (More on this: https://ch1blogs/blogs/239434, but this link can be viewed only by people in my company)

7. The birthday parties and treats-Cakes, Gifts and the famous poetry on the greeting cards specially written for the birthday baby (This poetry is again gifts bestowed by aanmeenga kavignar Sithik and puratchi kavignar Sam) which make us laugh till we have tears in our eyes. 🙂

8. Special mention to August 19th,2010- Having ordered a cake for Sandhya,Vidya and Jagadeesh anna who shared their birthdays in the same week, Subaraj (surrounded by 5 aaruyir nanbargal to protect him) was bringing the huge box to our class. Since bringing edibles to class are not allowed, the security attempted to stop these guys. The thick friends of Suba vanished in a moment and Suba caught in a fight or flight situation decided upon the later. As the running race came to an end, the security had already caught up to our class with the help of walkie-talkies. Then, convincing the security that we really didn’t know that edibles were not allowed to class, is another big story. The real comedy was when the security later told us, actually it wouldn’t have been a problem if Suba had stopped and explained the situation to him and kept the cake in the pantry to be taken out later and enjoyed.

9. The food-craze that prevails among the guys, especially Easwar, Sithik anna and Sam(Occasionally accompanied by Deepak anna and Subaraj). Any edible stuff  is stuffed into their mouths even before their mind processes what the stuff is. The speed at which 1 glass of fresh lime juice goes poof with 5 straws is really worth mentioning.

10. The way these guys, find reasons and incidents to tease us (Lavanya and Sandhya are the all-time victims while me, Nargunadevi and Jayapriya are also pulled into the trap, now and then)

11. The fun sessions with Boopathi as the mediator The Dumb charades, The robot game,Tom and Jerry game (Actually Robot and Tom and Jerry became more of a hit session, as we start hitting the blind-folded person with paper balls) and Anthakshari. Also, the chris-mom and chris-child game that we played for the friends’ week led to funny tasks and funny gifts.

12. The podhu maathu for the topper of the respective assessments.

13. The days when our class guys take up umbrellas from the common umbrella bin, when it was neither hot nor rainy, singing “Antha vaanatha pola manasu irukka..” for Bino anna.

14.CRICAT’10 brought me rewards which I didn’t deserve 😉 and I got new friends through Sam. I never thought I will go to a cricket match even as a substitute, but it happened.

15.The beatings that Sam and Easwar will get from us, especially me, with Deepak anna giving slight hints as of how to beat them more effectively.

16.The silly fights and sentimental talks 😉 (Sam, this one’s for you)

17.Among all chaos, the sleep that Jegadeesh anna enjoys invariably(Deepak anna too, but the difference is Jegadeesh anna will do when all others are playing and Deepak anna will do when the class is going on :))

18.The precious last few days at SFEW01 with me, Boopathi, Sam playing arm wrestling and of course, I got beaten in all the matches 🙁

As these days narrowed down and as people started to leave to explore their career elsewhere, I felt one of the best times of my life coming to an end. I am surprised at how soon Monday-morning-blues became Friday-evening-blues, as we started feeling bored on weekends. I cannot do justice to these wonderful days, how much ever I write as it is too short a period, yet too long for the amount of fun we had. All I can say is, CHN10AJ016 is unforgettable for me.

Only photos and videos are left to relive those moments. I am reminded of this famous forward-“ Life is so unfair. First, it gives us so much time to know each other. Then, when we know each other well, we don’t have enough time to be together”. This has happened more than once in almost all of our lives and this time, words are not enough to describe the impact.

Until later:)

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