I think, therefore I write

Pre-requisites for a two-wheeler rider in Bangalore

1. Any small space on the road must be perceived as a way to squeeze through and go forward. It doesn’t matter if 2 huge trucks/buses are dangerously close on both sides.

2. Must be able to drive on platforms, through tunnels which were originally meant for water but now dry and so on. In short, you should be able to drive your vehicle on a rope like in the circus. These experiences on the road would be no less.

3. Should not surrender to the bullying traffic. It will cut in front of you without regards of lane discipline, no overtaking on the left, indicators and so on. Become a part of it and bully smaller vehicles than you.

4. Must be able to switch lanes like flipping channels on a remote. Squeeze into any space in any lane if it gets your forward.

5. Should not care about service roads that are meant to be one way. You should drive in whichever direction that gets you to your destination.

6. Should not let others overtake you and occupy that space before you.

7. Should not expect the traffic police to regulate the vehicles. Sometimes they will and sometimes they won’t. Should act according to the situation at that instant.

8. Must not care about vehicles flowing in all directions at certain junctions. Must imagine yourself to be a snake and slither out of it.

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With a two-wheeler now, sadly these are the things Bangalore traffic is teaching me and expecting me to do. 🙁 If I don’t do these, I will be run over! God help us!

Until later 🙂

13 Comments

  1. Guruprasad

    Riding a two-wheeler in Bangalore traffic is like riding a two-wheeler on a single wheel with only one hand.

    • Keirthana

      You experienced it with me, didn’t you? And we were thinking that we can manage this with no problem.

  2. Ajay Kontham

    Ah, looks like I score 8/8. Though I don’t have a two wheeler but when I had, I bet I scored that. I was supposed to be taken for Dhoom 3, but Satya mev jayte won Aamir that role. 😛

    Going to office on a two wheeler? Haven’t seen you online, I mean in sametime.

    Btw, Congratulations. Wish you a Happy Married Life. 🙂 Hows’ life ?

    • Keirthana

      Aaha! So if you get a bike, you will survive well in Bangalore.

      Yeah, feeling like I could by bus itself when seeing this traffic but it serves a lot of other chores too. And online as in? Office IM? I am at client site, remember? And if you mean gmail, I have very less time to open my laptop and laze in front of it (with all the cooking lessons from mom and other works) 🙁

      Thanks! Yeah, life has suddenly become very active and responsible for me. Guess that’s what marriage comes with other than the fairy tale romances. Anyway I can safely tell this is the happiest I have been in my entire life. *Touchwood*

      • Ajay Kontham

        I sure can, I guess. 😛

        Oh, yeah. I remember now. Thanks for refreshing. And yeah, I know you will be busy at home and wasn’t asking about gmail. Though I have seen you on gmail a couple of times.

        Cooking lessons. Naaiiicee! 😛
        When are we getting invited ? #feelingHopeful

        Great.
        God bless you. 😀

  3. shiva

    this happens in most of indian cities.hyderabad is still miserable,they will hit your vehicle from behind even if you stop at traffic signal.i think chennai is far better than any indian city coz of wide roads and strict traffic regulation. hyderabad traffic is like entering into padmavyuha and you dunno whether you will survive.traffic police in hyderabad will work only when they are short of money and they do it by stopping every vehicle and writing chalans and further jamming traffic.

    • Keirthana

      True! Every hi-tech city is suffering this traffic mania because of the surging population. Bangalore has taken the worst hit.

  4. Soumya

    Perfect timing. My office is 3kms away from home but thanks to the auto-drivers demanding no less than 100 bucks for a 5 min drive, I’ll be picking up a bike soon.

    Thanks to you, I know how to survive now! 🙂

    • Keirthana

      Auto-wallas? Can write another post on their atrocious demands and driving. Glad that you are picking up a bike soon. But yeah, be careful! And learn some circus tricks meanwhile. Will come in handy 😉

  5. Thinker

    Hahahaha gr8!!!
    You know you have to follow these rules if you have to reach your destination safe and sound 🙂
    Same applies to Delhi as well! I mean I am scared like hell when I am on my scooty but I know without following the said rules I will never reach my home and get lost some where!

    • Keirthana

      Yeah we have no other go to become the typical Indian we curse at everyday if we have to survive on the roads.

  6. Confused Soul

    I was in Bangalore last week, and Oh My God! , you’re so right! Apart from the crazy traffic, I was totally scared when I saw people ride the bikes. Forget bikes, it’s scary how people don’t follow the lanes.

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