I think, therefore I write

Tag: Random ramblings (Page 2 of 9)

Can’t, Won’t, Don’t

cant-wont-dont

I can’t let my mobile battery go down below 20%. For me that is low battery.

I won’t be ashamed of happily sucking on a lollipop on the road.

I don’t like writing for commercialized prompts or contests anymore. I do like to take up prompts and challenges but not the kind where you write a post about some product without even having used it. And that’s just an example.

I can’t eat rice for dinner to save myself. Rice or rice-like dishes. On the other hand, if you give me Dosa for dinner everyday of the year, that’s just fine.

I won’t spare my weekends for anything, especially the Sunday evenings. I have a list of chores to be done and then relax. The Sunday evening is my week’s respite. It’s the me time.

I don’t need an anonymous blog with an audience after all. I do have an anonymous identity online but it’s just for me, like a filter. That’s just my space. Some posts from there might find their way here based on the relevance of the context and my judgement. Others, well let’s just say they were meant to be written not to be shared.

I can’t tolerate if someone folds the clothes inside out just as it came out from the washer. It bugs me until I fold it correctly.

I won’t stop reading Harry Potter, even if I have read it thousands of time before.

I don’t stand rules that have no logical backing or that have gone obsolete. I need all my questions of ‘what’, ‘why’, ‘how’ to be answered if you expect to follow some rule. At the least, I need to figure out an explanation that satiate me.

I can’t say no to chocolates. Cadbury is where it is because of me. [I think they should give me some special discount]

I won’t be as naΓ―ve as I once was. So if you know me from before and know me now after a gap, don’t think I’m the same.

I don’t like people who overdose on boasting about themselves. Narcissism has its limits and you better know it if you want to be around me.

I can’t survive a day without spilling. One hour into wearing a new white dress, you can find a spill on it. Whether it is cooking or eating, the kid in me spills. No, I don’t have shaky hands or nerve issues. That’s just how I am.

I won’t stop believing in love, however hard life makes it.

I don’t get answers to some of my desperate questions and I don’t know why I don’t get them either. Life better have some pretty good reasons for this.

Until later πŸ™‚

A little of this and a little of that

I’m in a surprisingly good mood for the past couple of days. Usually as the week wears on, I start getting cranky from all the cooking, cleaning, working etc. But not this time and it feels good too. Let me see if life lets me keep it for a while. Discovered that music is such an awesome helper when you have lots of work. When I cook/clean/cut vegetables/wash vessels/… , if I listen to music the work seemsΒ  lot easier. So the Ipod and Speaker have gotten a permanent spot in the kitchen shelf. No wonder mom used to listen to radio all the time in the kitchen. I just thought she loved the radio. πŸ™‚

The thing in the earlier post is taken care of and my mind is at peace now. I know it’s just a start but it feels like a good one. When the time comes, I will decide whether to come out to a limited audience or not. That’s all I’m gonna tell now.

Until later πŸ™‚

Reality check

image1

I am sitting alone, thinking about my life so far and my life ahead. The room is so silent and the rhythmic creaking of my fan is such an habitual sound to me that it doesn’t disturb the silence for me. 25 years of life and already I am out of breath due to the mad race. Yes, I have a few precious persons in my life who save me from the madness that is the world and I know to appreciate them. There are some things in life that keep it going, motivating me to push on.

All that aside, there have been moments when I think what am I doing here? What’s the purpose of me being here at this moment? A lot of philosophical mess is there in my mind and taking advantage of the same, my mind just takes control and spews random thoughts out all the time. There are many things to enjoy, a lot of things to write about, a lot of books to read, a lot of challenges to face and so on. But do we realize the enormity of it? If yes, do we realize it on time? How many times do we take things for granted? How many times are we lost in this huge ocean of life?

We are forced to change constantly. We hate it, face it and somehow do it in the end since there’s no other choice. What if we let go of the inhibitions and take it a bit more positively? What if we know that life’s hard but decide to just face it instead of moping around? Is it as easy as it sounds? We’ll never know until we try it. Maybe it’s easier than we thought or maybe it’s harder than we thought. At any point, we never know what’s at the end of the road. What we are shown is just the next step or sometimes even the next step is hidden in darkness. But should that stop us from trying? If so, what’s the point of even navigating till the end of the tunnel? We can just sit wherever we are and get run over πŸ˜‰ But we don’t wanna do that, right? We want to keep going ahead. So taking the next step is an essential one. Amidst all the chaos is the calm we are searching for.

Until later πŸ™‚

Shadow

She was always there. Being present. A silent spectator. When everything else took priority and acted to push her out. She clung on fiercely. She knew that what she was doing might not be practicality. She would have to wait only in the hope that someday it would be her turn. Someday her time would come. But the wait went on too long. She was pushed beyond her limits. She was caught up in the storm which threatened to engulf her completely. All she wished for was a little normalcy. A simple life. But life gave her everything but that. Madness was a daily call. Peace of mind had lost its meaning to her. There was nothing but chaos. Many a time she thought of ending it. There were so many simple ways for that. But that’s not the way.

Finally after too many days, the time did come. It was her turn to hold her head high. It was her chance to come into the light. But there she was, wasted and done. The sun had set for her long back and she went with the light. Turning from a shadow into entirely nothing. She breathed her last with the thought that she did something right. That she had taken the right decision even though it had cost her, her life. Life had come a little too late and she was no longer there to live it. The calmness which she asked for embraced her entirely. She was at peace at last. Life was not how she desired but after-life was.

Until later,
Keirthana πŸ™‚

P.S: For those who don’t get it, my intention was to portray a vignette. An abstract one at that, which paints the turmoil a human mind goes through when subjected to extreme suffering in life. The dark ending is something that suits the vignette or so I feel. πŸ™‚

« Older posts Newer posts »