I think, therefore I write

To the idiots on the Bangalore roads



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To the idiots on the Bangalore roads,

I have a bone to pick with you. In fact, given the nature of your actions on the roads I would like to break your bones but being the self-centered, concerned Indian that I am forced to be by my survival instincts, I would suffice myself with writing this post on my space and yelling at you on the roads when your actions irk me.

– What is with that inadvertent nature of driving a huge ass car for a single person on those narrow roads like you own the road? I can understand if you are picking up a few generations of your family from the airport but you drive your monstrous car even if you are the only person travelling to a few km away. What’s with that? You know that navigating the traffic in bangalore is like navigating through a hellhole for people? Even you must find it difficult to reach your place in time. So why contribute to it?

– Some nincompoops of your kind seem to think that roads are meant for practising their stunts with bikes. I saw one of your kinsmen doing a wheelie on the K.R.Puram bridge with a pillion rider. Roads are not for you to show off your skills. Practise in the playgrounds and break your head, who’s gonna care? Why do you need to do that in the middle of a heavily used bridge causing imminent danger to others?

– I don’t understand your aversion to indicators and attraction to horns. You don’t use the indicators but just cut in when ever you feel so but yell your lungs out if it results in a crash. Even if you use the indicators, you turn it into an amusement tactic where you switch the left indicator on and go right. Are you nuts? While you show this ignorance to indicators, you seem to have developed a love-hate relationship with the horn. Pressing the horn so hard while at a signal? DOES NOT WORK. It will only give you angry stares, which of course, you don’t care about.

– Barriers on the roads are meant to wake your brain up to the possibility that this route is not for heavy vehicles. There might be a million reasons for it, like for instance your vehicle might be too big for the road bends. Why not try respecting the barricades once instead of forcing your way in through them and blocking the entire road with you wedged in the middle? I could even understand if it gets you through faster. But you get stuck like a trapped monkey in the narrow bends of the narrower roads thus effectively rendering the entire road unusable and blocking hordes of smaller vehicles along with you.

– For gits who didn’t get an opportunity to perform in circus and so fulfill that desire by travelling with a wife on the pillion, 2 kids wedged in between and one baby on the head, read point #2. We don’t have time for your circus performances while rushing to work, so why don’t you put up a private show and we’ll visit. Deal?

– Idiots who drive with a cell phone in one hand, I have a variety of colorful names for you. I do serve them to the pleasure of your ears but you don’t care. We know you are good at multi-tasking, but there is no need to show off by texting with one hand and driving a bike with your wife and baby on the pillion. I so wish that I could super glue your hands to the steering/hand grips of your vehicle so that you wouldn’t attend a call or even worse text while driving.

– To those brainless existences who think there is a spitting competition on who spits the farthest, I wish I could sue you or rather sew your mouth shut so that you don’t treat the road like your private wash-basin.

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This list could really go on but I know not one of you will care. Still I couldn’t resist. So you continue your out-of-the-world antics that will one day really send you out of the world and orbiting into space and I will continue swearing at you and blaming God for forgetting to give you that thing called a brain.

Yours truly pissed off,
An Indian on the Bangalore roads.

Until later 🙂

P.S: Came across this in Google, maybe we all need it soon

8 Comments

  1. Ajay Kontham

    Haha. I know I am not supposed to laugh at being pissed. I am pissed too. Only that I just aloted myself to just travel through BMTC until I am acquainted with any other self driven mode of transportation. But still, I know how it feels. The BMTC acronym sounds accurate. I have to look up at the window whenever I pass by a bus.

    And I feel, it is the same almost everywhere, I mean almost everywhere where the density of vehicles exceed the actual number of people, no?

    I hope those people get this message somehow and be more careful and obey rules.

    • Keirthana

      You can laugh because sometimes it feels like all we can do is laugh and move on 🙁

      I was sticking to BMTC travel until my marriage. Now that I have a lot more work and a lot less time, I am driving to work and even if I think about bus travel, you know what the funny fact is? Given the traffic on the Tin Factory-K.R.Puram stretch, I can reach my office quicker on foot than by bus.

      Thanks for being the first one to read 🙂

      • Ajay Kontham

        Right ? It’s not only near Tin factory, it the same case almost every other place where there is an IT hub. Sometimes I think I should get a bicycle and beat the traffic.
        Oh, my pleasure. 😀

        • Keirthana

          True!

          Bicycle? Oh yeah, I have thought about it so often but you will be run over by those bullying vehicles. So don’t attempt it on the main roads.

  2. confused soul

    Hahahaha!! You go girl!
    I can understand what it is to see these lunatics on the streets. I see ample of such specimens in Mumbai, with the circus lot and stunt freaks losing their head. Ah wrong indicator signs, suck!

    But no matter what we say or do, these creatures would continue using and riding on the roads as if it belongs to them. We can vent and hurl, but it would not make a tangible difference.

    Let us hope that these empty vessels gain their senses soon.

    • Keirthana

      So true! When I see such idiots, I can’t help the boiling rage that takes me over. But yeah what can we do? We can tell them, yell at them, but making them see sense? I don’t know if we have that in our control. Sigh!

  3. Wanderer

    This sounds crazy! I haven’t seen roads as entertaining as these..but those who use their cellphone and drive really irk me!

    • Keirthana

      Yeah, this happens almost everywhere in India and especially in cities like Bangalore where the population just keeps flowing in and not out.

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