Ripples of my Reflections

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Year: 2013 (Page 4 of 8)

Woes of a foodie

July 3, 2013 / / 19 Comments

I have been forced to come out of my denial mode. The instant happened yesterday in the Gym which I joined only last week. You guessed it right, my mind has been denying that I am overweight in spite of the mirror telling me I need to reconsider my lifestyle. The fact that if you know what to wear you will always look decent didn’t help either. Since I had a decent wardrobe courtesy my friends and my guy, it was never clumsy to wear modern-wear. So I stuffed myself with Junk food, Chocolates, Crispy Dosas and what not. Adding to the temptation, my office canteen kept on opening a variety of counters for all types of normal and junk food – A dessert counter, A snack counter, A chaat counter, A tiffin counter and it went on.

And so the once at-least normal girl is now fat. As I was freaking out on this fact once my denial haze lifted, an interesting thought came in. The Cadbury company should be sued for producing such tempting chocolates. It is almost a criminal sin to tempt people who are oblivious and licking off that silky diary milk off the wrapper, all the while adding numbers to their weight. What more, if you buy a Diary Milk of that huge size (I am not sure if it is the family pack), they are giving you a Bournville of the same size for free. This is what they call hell for chocolate addicts like us. (Well, actually heaven but when it comes to the weight factor, hell it is!!) I am a chocolate freak and that’s what landed me in the gym now. 😥

And the chicken pox episode just blew up the whole thing. Almost 20 days of just eating and sleeping. And unlike most people, my grandma did not insist I only eat curd rice during my tenure of being sick. She said I can eat everything home-made. That was the icing on the cake. So there I was in my own food heaven until the realization hit yesterday. Thank god, I realized it before it’s too late. It’s gonna be hard but not impossible to cut those extra KGs. My muscles are on a strike as I try to workout in the gym. They scream every possible curse at me. There is no breath control or capacity in my lungs! So much for being a swimmer. I was not able to jog continuously for 5 mins and I was wondering where has that person who beat the record runner in the class during school gone. 😳

Adding insult to injury, there was this body builder guy in my gym, working out on the cycling machine next to me and he was pedaling away like he’s the gold medalist in Olympics and there I was by his side, pedaling like I was participating in a slow cycle race. Why god why? The couple of girls who were there were like Deepika Padukone. (No, I was not checking them out. Don’t get any dirty ideas. 😉 I was just registering that they don’t need the gym at all.)Why do they have to come to gym when they are so thin? Only when I saw a few more ladies who came to gym to actually work out the fat, the relief flooded in. Yeah, I am not alone. :mrgreen:

At the canteen, while everyone was having pakodas, french fries, potato smiles, chole-baturas, all I could think of was how difficult it was to shed the calories which I gained by eating them. And I was sitting there sadly with my fruit bowl and green tea, resisting the temptation which tried to break free. Every time I go to the canteen, it is like a clash of titans -the foodie in me will want to have something tasty, the other me will want to avoid unhealthy food. Ugh! 😡

When I read this post by Red handed, I had commented that I could write a miniature version of it. I don’t know what I was thinking (Guess I was very proud of the fact that I did not gain weight over a 1.5 years even though I hogged and my physical activity was less. I just remained the same and it went to my head. Sigh!) but I have just started with the process and it will be a good few months before I can write such a post declaring my victory over the cellulite. Hoping such a day comes 🙂

Until later 🙂

P.S: You can read the post how many ever times you want, but I have not given away my weight anywhere 😛 Not yet! I will tell only when I have achieved my target. Till then, no guesses. 😈

P.P.S: I generally lack the ability to have a laugh at myself and handle criticism well. So this is a first. 🙂

P.P.P.S: When I think of people like Ajay who eat junk food as their breakfast, lunch and dinner and yet stay stick thin, my blood boils. 👿

A birthday wish to Love personified

June 20, 2013 / / 11 Comments

images

Source: youthheaven.com

Amma,

Even before I start writing, I know very well that a post would not do justice to you and your love. Yet, I wish to write about you here to fulfill that small part of expression which I can at this instant, on this special day on which you were born.

There is this famous saying – “God cannot be everywhere. So he created mothers.” It is not without reason that they say this for what you have done for me till this day can be equaled by no one. Your protective womb was not only for those 9 months when I was a fetus but for my entire lifetime. When I look back in my life, there is not one instance when you weren’t there for me – mentally, physically supporting me in all ways. When it came to taking care of the family, nothing is impossible for you.

You make all the delicacies in the world, but never once have you made them because you wanted to eat them. It is for the family, always. For all the festivities, when everyone around switched from home-made delicacies to readily available ones in shops due to lack of patience and strength, you are the only one who refuses to back off from the tedious routine of making all the sweets and snacks. For you, we are the priority over your troubles. The coconut water out of each coconut used in our kitchen,whether a mouthful or a glassful, has waited for me specially until I wake up after my lazy slumber. This happens till date. I remember asking you every time –“You can have it na? Why are you saving this for me?” Your answer is always-“You like it na? So I want you to have it”. Every dish that you make is heavenly because I know there is that extra ingredient of your love which makes it so.

I can never comprehend how you work non-stop starting at 5.30 AM till 11.00 PM. You must really have some super-power! I look at your strength and my jaw drops. Not once have you lied down saying that you are sick even when you had health issues. It was me, Anna or dad who found out you were not feeling well and forced you to rest. How could you not get fed up with the annoying fights between me and bro when we were young? If at all you were strict with us, it was for the sole reason to teach us the value of a sibling, to discipline us. I now realize how much you have struggled to ingrain every aspect of discipline in us and at the same time pamper us where possible. How you brought the 2 aspects of parenting together is something that amazes me still.

Where do you get that patience to listen to my incessant blabber about school stories, college stories, how I fought with my friends, how I made up with them, who said what etc? When I first rode a cycle, then a two-wheeler, when I learnt swimming, when I won prizes, when I started earning, for every single milestone I reached, the look on your face – It was as if your life’s purpose was fulfilled. The ways you try to learn to use the computer, the doubts you ask.. It’s funny for me sometimes, but I always know it is a big deal for you to grasp the fast changing world and technology. But you do, for us. The world may outgrow you, but we never will. Anna and I will always be kids to you. The world may grow so much in technology but there will never be a time when mankind can invent anything even closely equal to a mother’s love.

I don’t remember a single time when you have ever wanted anything for yourself. Any sari that I certify as nice will be saved in my wardrobe though I don’t prefer saris. Your explanation would be “You might be interested in wearing them in future. So I will save it for you.” I have pestered you with the question-“How can you give away everything without any wants for yourself?” And your answer remains-“You will understand when you become a mother.” Frankly I am scared how I will be as a mother. The responsibilities you shoulder, the sacrifices you make, the pains you bear, all these seem impossible to do. Yet you are here, doing everything I call impossible, showing solid proof for who a mother is.

Your immovable confidence in me and my decisions made me stronger and more responsible. You gave me the freedom to fly high though you were scared to do so. You wanted me to experience everything life has in store for me. You understood the freedom of voicing my opinions especially well since you have never had the chance to in the society you grew up. The way you supported me when I expressed the biggest decision of my life..Despite your fears, hesitations and protectiveness, all that mattered to you was my happiness. Throughout the struggle, you prayed with me, cried with me, smiled with me, fought for me and finally won it for me.

I know you don’t give importance to this day, the day you were born. But how can we not celebrate the birthday of the soul of our family? Happy Birthday Amma! You are the best mother one can ask for. I can keep writing and there are not enough words in any language to describe your selfless love. So I end it here with my personal note – “With just a single call of “Ma” all my needs have been fulfilled, all my sufferings soothed, all my wants pampered, all my dreams made true. I may fly higher and higher but never beyond your reach. I may change with the world but never so much that you don’t know me. For you, I will always be the kid that you know me to be.”

Love,

Keirthu

A known lesson learnt

June 17, 2013 / / 4 Comments

My life has had more experiences of the genre Health. Note that I said my life and not just me. Yes, that’s right. I mean health as in my health and the health of my near and dear ones whose health affects my life. How it affects us when one’s near and dear ones suffer from chronic ailments which has to be dealt with a day-to-day basis is a huge thing which would need another post and to refrain from digressing I am postponing that to some future post. My point is when I saw people around me having bigger problems with their health for some reason, I always thought to myself that though I cannot be deemed perfectly fit and healthy, I can be called a normal person who gets the occasional cold and a rare fever, one who is not having a great stamina but otherwise okayish to live a normal life without exerting much. *touch wood*

My history with wheezing is exempted since I have been cured since long and my hyper sensitive skin is an exception that I have written about in this post. But my mind always knew at some level that I was taking advantage of the fact that my body is not hyper sensitive and being the food freak I am, hogged on junk food and food that’s good for the taste buds but not necessarily to the body. I have taken my health for granted at so many instances all the while my conscience reminding me that it takes so much time to heal but just one trigger for the body’s condition to go downhill.

You ask me what brought this all now, my health got back at me giving me a reminder or rather a threat saying that I should refrain from my recklessness else it would fail me. I was down with chicken pox for the past 2 weeks. That was on my dreaded list from childhood. Whenever anyone spoke about it or how they got it already and hence they are immune to it, the fear would come up. I did not have it during my childhood. So, with the vivid descriptions of people who had it, somehow it got etched as one of the most feared diseases of my list. What made it more threatening was the fact that it’ll hit everyone at least once in life and I knew my turn would be any time.

 The only part of my body which is hyper sensitive is my skin. So any bug bite that normally does not have much effect on others will have allergic reactions in me. I am the official bed bug tester at my friends’ place. While all my friends would be happily dozing off oblivious to the bed bugs sucking their blood, I would wake up with multiple allergic eruptions even if there is a single bed bug and hence the bed would be deemed unfit for sleeping and a call to pest control would follow immediately. This is one example out of many instances of hyper-sensitive skin.

I have had nightmares about skin eruptions all over me due to some allergic reactions and they always send a shiver down my spine 😮 So with this history, when I was diagnosed with chicken pox the first thing my mind did was to freak out. My parents had gone to visit my bro in US and were not available for me to turn to. This thought almost caused a panic attack about who will take care of me in such a situation 😯 Thankfully my aunt and grandma were in same town and they were a godsend care in the situation [I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss my mom. There is no one who could match a mother to look after you, whether you are ill or not. A mother is the best whom none can level with]. When the pox peaked, I felt as if all my nightmares were coming live. That was one panicky night which I would never forget in my life.

The irony of this whole thing is some part of my rational mind knew that all the skin eruptions are a result of the body’s attempt to push out alien particles and to heal eventually. Body is an excellent doctor in itself. It knows how to heal itself. Unfortunately, we and our lifestyle never give a chance for the body to work its beautiful healing techniques. As I recovered, the panic subdued slowly and the rational part of my mind started its action. It reminded me how people are facing far worse health conditions these days, it reminded me how one should take good care of one’s health no matter how good it is already, it reminded me how my body did nothing out of ordinary in my case and it did what it had to do to protect me from the virus and heal me and in spite of nothing out of ordinary how my mind panicked. It was an already known lesson but not an already learnt one. That mind gives up and panics much before your body does. That mental strength counts so much more in recovering from physical ailments. I mentally saluted the people who put up a brave front to so many health issues on a daily basis while I freaked out so easily for something that everyone faces in life. Although the other part of my mind (it’s almost like an alternate personality) still shivers at the thought of comparatively trivial/smaller issues, I realize that I need to pick myself up and look at the bigger picture of taking good care of my health.

Until later 🙂

P.S: I have written just the first phase of my reaction. There is another reaction phase which is on a totally different note on which I will write another post – The belief that chicken pox occurs because of the wrath of the goddess Mariamman and mostly due to some neglected prayer/offering to the goddess.

P.P.S: Now that I am recovered, my mind plays its dirty antics 😈 to start on the reckless lifestyle and eating habits but this time I am determined to beat it out. I know no one is getting any younger by every day. Start taking care of your health before it is too late 🙂

P.P.P.S: My feed reader is overflowing with unread posts. I promise to read them all as and when I can but commenting on every post is something I don’t have time to. So excuse me. I am just getting into the groove of normal life with so many pending tasks and I have a life to reshape.

Of lost things!

May 27, 2013 / / 9 Comments

On reading this post of Sri’s, it struck me that I have a kind of opposite experience when it came to lost things. I have lost many precious things in my life and have searched for them as if my life depended on them, but they never came back. We all would have had some things – significant or insignificant in material value but that we hold very dear to heart. When we lose them, the feeling nags in the bottom of the mind for a very long time. Even though you let go, some or the other thing makes you remember them and you gaze into the memory lane and dismiss it as nostalgia. But that feeling never leaves your heart.

In my case, this happened twice. One was a silver ring gifted by Adit with a cat’s eye stone when we were in 6th grade. It was given to him by his grandmother which he gifted to me for some reason. It was a normal pretty-looking ring, but I took such an attachment to it since I loved the purplish tinge of the stone. I wore it all the time and I lost it in our school ground when I was playing. I searched for it among the grass for so long that I missed the next class searching for it. I knew it fell just there, a few yards distance but I never found it. Till date, whenever I see a ring (even prettier and more expensive ones ), that ring’s memory and the feeling of possessing it rushes back inevitably.

Next thing was a watch gifted by a friend. Years later, when I think about it now, I have lost touch with that friend and don’t even know where she is but losing that watch which she gifted haunts me still. The clasp was a little loose and I was procrastinating getting it corrected. One fine day, when I came back from my tuition classes, I found that it had fallen off somewhere. I went all the way in a hope that went vain. It was a very pretty white metal watch with pink stones embedded. Many watches have come and gone but this one haunts me still.

I don’t even know why I want this ring and watch because they were in use years ago and have probably become antiques or at the least out of fashion. I don’t know the reason. Just the feeling of losing them and wanting them back exists. When I read Cecelia Ahern’s “A place called Here”, I could totally relate to the feeling. I started thinking about what if that ring and watch had a mind of their own.  Would they have wanted to come back to me as much as I wanted/want them back? (I know it sounds crazy, but that’s how I feel) The thoughts extended into something like what if I got lost like the protagonist in “A place called Here”. My mind immediately answered the same answer which was in the book – “I don’t want to get lost, but if I did, I would want to be found, more than anything else”. If that place  called here existed, I wouldn’t mind raiding it for my lost ring and watch and I *will* definitely come back from that place 🙂

So what is that you have lost? Have they come back to you like in the case of Sri or have they eluded you till date like in my case? And do you want any particular lost thing back so much?

Until later 🙂

Entering into marriage – Youth

May 19, 2013 / / 9 Comments

Read prequel here

Now that I have shot all my arrows at the parent sector, I realize I must do enough justice to the members of the current generation too [which includes me] 🙂 They are no less guilty when it comes to the marriage drama.

I see many people these days who are lost in confusion about what they want. This is not only for the marriage thing but in almost everything. But for the sake of not digressing, I am gonna talk only about confusions in the marriage phase. A lot of choices have come up now. It is no longer like how it was. No one is interested in nodding their heads to their parents’ choices and marry the girl/guy without even seeing their would-be partner’s face. Today everything is about understanding the other person better. All this is for good, I agree. However, I have seen many people who do not know what kind of person they are interested in or would be most compatible with. I am not saying you need a full character sketch ready before you start looking for prospects in an arranged marriage. I am just saying that doing a self-analysis and knowing yourself better would help you arrive at a conclusion about what kind of partner you would be interested in. Please do this little self-analysis and find out major factors which you would be looking for – the person’s character, place, family type, job, salary etc. Have a general idea about which you would want or not want.

Money plays big roles these days. The guy’s job and income attracts girls more than the guy’s character. The next important factor seems to be looks. Don’t start with the brickbats. I have seen such people. I am not demeaning your choices. Just that consider all the factors from all perspectives from a long run view. Impulsive decisions might be good now, but when looked back from ten years later you might sing a different tune. Life will make you do so.

The next turn off for girls is when a guy lives with his parents. I didn’t know that living with parents meant joint family these days. This is one thing I was proud of Indian culture but sadly that too is gone now. Yes, I agree you need your privacy when you are trying to settle in the new family. However, you cannot forget that they are the immediate family for you now. They have raised their son for years with selfless unconditional love. That might cause some parents to have insecure feelings due to which they might seem a little interfering to you. My question is why can’t you be the bigger person and not let these stuff affect you or the family? Won’t you do this for your parents? Nuclear family types are good too, but that is not the only choice. My opinion is I am sad that this is even becoming a hurdle factor when it comes to match-making.

As for the guy, I will just give one point which will convey everything. The girl you are marrying is leaving behind her own family and coming to an entirely new place and family, sometimes to a totally different culture depending on only one person – You! Have that in mind. If you cannot cut the girl a certain slack and stand by her until she is comfortable, then there is no point for you in getting married. This is true for both love and arranged marriage.  Please create a balance your parents and your wife smartly. Make her comfortable in your home. If you succeed in this one thing, you can lead a very happy life.

In the marriage process, your parents might give you loads of pressure as I mentioned in the earlier post. Dealing with it is horrible. You will feel you cannot compromise on your stand and at the same time you cannot leave your parents too. In spite of all this, take a moment to think what your parents go through. All the relatives would be pressing them and possibly even ridiculing them if you are taking too much time to decide. You might think what relatives think is none of our business. But our parents, who are from a different brought up and with a different mind-set will find it difficult to shrug such things off. They will have their own fears about your future too. They have done so much for you that they would not want to think of any failure in this crucial part of your life. Try to have a calm talk with them if you feel their pressure is suffocating you. Even if they are adamant, convey in a calm yet strong way that you cannot be forced into anything. Also, try to make them understand that you are taking your time only to make the right decision and not to just escape. Shouting at them or avoiding them is gonna cause more problems than ever. Parents won’t be able to take in that their son or daughter is talking back to them like that and other paranoid feelings will creep in.

If you are not ready for it, do a self-analysis and think what you want now before stepping into this serious phase of life. Have a sketch and explain your mindset to your parents. Do not make your parents a scapegoat because of your confused state. For people who are thinking in lines of passing off the marriage thing, I do not know what to say. It is your own choice, but given the current societal conditions you will find it really hard. So good luck in pulling it off and if you do pull it off, it means you have the most understanding parents ever and be grateful to them.

For people who are into love marriages, here is a special dose of experience. Please do not think of leaving your parents and marrying off on your own. However hard it is, please stick to your fact and stick to your parents too. Tell them clearly that you are not gonna marry anyone else than your heart’s choice. How much ever they push you, just make this clear and be calm. That’s it. It will be hard. Tears, accusations, threatens will follow. Deal with them on a case to case basis cleverly. But do not falter on your resolution to stay with your parents. They will relent in the end. They might do it reluctantly but that is better than the negative choice. With time, you can wash away the reluctance by showing them you were right, in action.

Parents have done a lot for you. A LOT! You cannot even begin to comprehend the limit of their care, affection, sacrifices, love in this lifetime. You can understand this only when you become a parent. We have to change our parents to become more open-minded. Agreed! We need to do it gradually since it is hard for them than for us. If you try to push them, it will scare them off. They will think you have gone beyond their reach and have changed for the worse. So please do not hurt them.

In the way of traditional marriage, there are a lot of customs which we find irritating and a waste of time. The elder generation will want to stick to it for a lot of reasons. Try not to shrug off everything. If something is very ridiculous and unreasonable, explain why you think so. Otherwise, if there is something which you can do with a minimal effort and can bring a big smile on their face, what is wrong in doing it? A change can be brought only gradually. If you just reject every tradition, your point is not gonna go across, instead you will go across as an arrogant disrespecting kid. For a change, try to insert small changes slowly. You will see that you are getting better results that way.

Though there are a lot more to say, I am stopping here because the post has become too long already. The bottom line is give parents the due respect which they deserve very much. They are the only people who will support you no matter what in this world. They will never ever turn their backs on you. So extend the same courtesy to them too. Whether the issue in concern is marriage or something else.

Until later 🙂

P.S: I know that I have risked brickbats, tomatoes and rotten eggs with this big gyaan session to parents and younger generation. 😛 I have just written based on my lessons and realizations. If you do not agree, it is your choice and that’s fine by me. These are my personal reflections.

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